Tag: #LiveLaughLearn

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Stacy Crep ~

Photo Credit – Emy Minzel – Slim Lake, Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness – Ely, Minnesota

The Blame Game

May 4, 2019May 3, 2019 emyminzel

Sometimes we make mistakes, like saying the wrong thing or follow a path meant for someone else. Only to have life chew us up and regurgitates us closer to where we are truly meant to be. It’s up to us to take the lessons learned from these challenges and grow from them. Being embarrassed, ashamed, hurt or (any emotion that comes from the feeling of failure) is unpleasant, and nobody likes it. But this is life and we all go through it.

There are times I have blamed others for my falls because that’s the human thing to do. Except blaming others for my actions made me a victim and successfully removed my own power to change my situation. This was a weird optical illusion I inflicted upon myself that did not do me any favors. It just allowed me to wallow in self-pity and stay stuck in my inability to change. When in reality it was really my responsibility to make the changes that lead to the life I want.

Blaming others did not help me grow, it kept me stuck and paralyzed with fear. I did not want to admit that just maybe… I could possibly be responsible for my situation. Realizing I had made my own mess would also make me accountable to clean it up! OH NO. The horror! I can joke and laugh at myself now, because this behavior just doesn’t even seem logical to me today.

Because of my experiences of doing this in my younger years and seeing this same pattern play out over and over, I would get so frustrated at the stickiness it created in my life. I had no other option but to admit my behaviors and my tendencies, then do the work to really changing this habit. I matured into self-acceptance and awareness by seeing this in myself and watching others go through their tribulations as well.

It did take me a while to have the courage to be honest with myself and start noticing these tendencies to blame when they came up. I had to reel in my reactions and start being proactive! There were times I would voluntarily cut off my nose to spite my face, before I admitted any wrongdoing. As you can imagine this did not get me far in life. Yet the outcomes did help me to see that it was no longer how I wished to behave.

There is a silver lining to admitting I wasn’t perfect after all, even though I knew it all along. Allowing some self-awareness, helped me grow into a better person, or at least in the direction of ‘better’ as I defined it. I am not saying that I always blamed others. It was just those times in which I was too stubborn to admit I was wrong, that I was willing to dig my heals in and harm a valued relationship instead of working it out, those were the big lessons for me.

I’ve come to view these times in our lives, in which we play the “Blame Game,” as an opportunity to learn. I see it to be an essential experience for us as we mature, to mature. How do we deal with it? I have learned that sometimes it is hard to admit when I am at fault. Nobody likes to eat crow, as they say, yet learning to value my relationships instead of giving priority to my pride has proven to be worth it over and over again. Has this been true for you too?

Wishing you lots of love, light, and acceptance today!

Love and blessings,

Wishing you lots of love, light, and acceptance today!

Love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

www.AdventurewithEmyandStacy.com

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

Decisions, Decisions…

April 9, 2019April 8, 2019 emyminzel

It’s no secret that our life path is just made up of decisions we make along the way. In our careers, family, friends and even our health, the path is a product of decisions we’ve made prior. How my life looks today is directly because of the things I chose in the past. Sometimes we make bad decisions because we just don’t know, what we don’t know yet!

We must not kick ourselves in the butt when we do find out. It is then that we can use that opportunity to make an even more informed decision and move on from there. Who I am now, recognizes that in my younger years I would sometimes try to blame others for my failings instead of taking responsibility for my decisions. I had to get out of my own way and grow. I had to learn it was all up to me and my decisions to get the life I wanted.

Even when my decision was to be lazy and unproductive with my time, affecting any progress, the old me would think “Well if it’s meant to be it will be!” When really, it will be if I decide to make it so!

When Stacy posted her blog Let’s talk about Desire yesterday on stacycrep.com she hit the nail on the head talking about desire and distraction. I wanted to share my expericence of chosing destractions over what I truly desired and how I changed my thinking to prioritize what I truly wanted.

This thinking ‘if it was meant to be will be’ was justifying behaviors and decisions that were not getting me anywhere! I just didn’t see that it was me, standing in my way to the life I really wanted. It took years before I was ready to admit that my dissatisfaction was my own fault. That the decisions I made each moment of the day was the product of how I felt about life. Then, I had my “Ah ha!” moment and realized that nobody can change my life but me!

After this awakening, I started experimenting with mantras and found one that I loved and motivated me to take responsibility for my decisions. I still have it on a post-it note on my bathroom mirror. It says “I deserve the best! I take charge of my schedule and my life!” This simple yet powerful mantra moved me to get off the couch and start making progress towards the career and life I know I wanted but wasn’t making any progress getting too. I finally saw it because I stopped procrastinating and started doing what I knew I needed to do.

For years I knew I wanted to be a writer, yet I just did not believe in myself. So, I did not even attempt to write. When I did, it was in my journal and for my eyes only. I complained about it a lot because I was so unhappy with my lack of progress. Instead of taking the initiative to write something worth sharing, I would nap, clean, veg on the couch or anything at all besides write. How in the world did I expect to be a writer if I wasn’t confident enough to even try?

It was one small, yet life-changing decision several years ago, that got me fired up about my life goals again. Adventure Sister Stacy had encouraged me to start writing and she decided she was also going to write too. This sister solidarity gave me just enough support that I was willing to give it a shot. When we started writing, Stacy and I set a small goal of 500 words a week to keep us accountable. The best surprise was that we both ended up blowing the doors off that goal and had a great time while doing it!

We kept writing and writing and now have three books waiting for us to publish! As it turns out, editing is not cheap, and we needed to find a way to pay for the next step of making our publishing goals happen. A year after we got just our book proposals edited and paid for, we still needed the money to edit the rest of the books. We sat on this conundrum for a while and together made the decision to start putting together women’s retreats to help raise the funds to bring our books to fruition!

This is a very exciting next step in our writing careers, and all came about organically from our decision to keep making progress towards our goals and dreams. When it occurs to me that I wasted several years of my life because of my decision not to believe in myself, it can bum me out at times. Yet I know I cannot get down on myself too bad, because you don’t know, what you don’t know until you know! When you do, look at the progress you can make!

I am so thankful that I made myself take initiative to make one of my dreams come true. I did this by taking responsibility for how I was spending my time and energy and changed it to what I needed. These small decisions added up to big changes in myself and my life. I do my best to make good decisions and take responsibility with this life I’ve been blessed with. Doing so has increased my self-esteem and motivates me to keep moving forward with my goals and dreams; one small decision at a time.

Wishing you love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

http://stacycrep.com

*Photo taken at Candie Kitchen in Knife River, Minnesota

Finding a balance ~

February 12, 2019February 12, 2019 emyminzel

Finding a few small steps towards finding balance ~

Do you ever have a hard time keeping balance in your life? I think most people do at various times. I know some days I do much better than other days but giving and receiving are part of how the world works. It’s an energetic exchange that applies to the natural world and what you give out should be coming back to you. Very similar to how we go to work; then we get a paycheck. Most of us would not go to work every day if we were not getting something of value in return, right?

I’ll give you an example; Stacy and I have decided to dedicate ourselves to a 40-day Nabhi Kriya Kundalini Yoga practice as part of our self-healing journey. It is a spiritual and physical challenge to make our well-being a priority and it also needs to be done every single day, for 40 days. Some days we breeze through easy peasy. Other days we put it off until the last minute. Last Friday I squeaked it in just before midnight!

As part of this Yoga routine, they give you about a 4-minute rest period call Savasana/Corse pose. I have noticed, that when I am super busy with life things, I get a bit antsy when laying there. Thinking. “okay. Is this part over yet? I have things to do.” The routine gives you this time to rest and reflect as it is part of the spiritual teaching and holds a significant purpose; that is why they put it in the practice.

Nabhi Kriya is almost like an aerobic exercise and feels like a workout. I truly enjoy how it makes me feel and the energy it gives me. But I seem to have this urge to deny myself the ‘resting’ part of the practice, when I have really earned it! I literally feel my brain wanting to reject receiving what it is my body/mind/spirit needs, after this physical practice and for what?!

This is not the natural way of the world. To give and to receive in perfect balance is the way it is supposed to work. I am not doing myself any favors by thinking I don’t have the time or deserve the rest my body needs after this workout. I make myself lay and finish the Savasana, clearly, I realize I must train my brain to allow myself to relax.

This is probably why lots of people think they are not ‘good’ at meditating. It’s our overactive minds keeping us from peace. It is our job to control our thoughts and actions. If we train ourselves to exercise every day for 40 days, we sure should be able to meditate or stay in a state of relaxation for 5 minutes a day!

Doing this practice has led to a huge self-realization that I have not been allowing myself to receive the rest/relaxation/good feelings, that I know in my heart, I have ‘earned’ after doing the work! Do you know how this hidden habit I formed, can block my progress in everyday life?! Holy moly kids! This is a breakthrough discovery!

The realization that I do not easily allow myself to receive, has led me to act on that imbalance in all areas of my life. There is a mantra I like to use that serves as a reminder for my brain. “I take in life in perfect balance.” It is a verbal queue to let me allow myself to give and receive what it is I need.

It may even be a bit of human nature to martyr. That is because it is easier to give than receive for some people. When we see people who live like this, it’s easy to see it is not a healthy way to live. You also must work on filling your own cup.

We are not made to give and give until there is nothing left. It’s not the way the universe is supposed to work! There are plenty of us who have this habit and we don’t even see it. Now that my eyes have been opened, I will give you an example of how I made steps to correct it.

Just this weekend we had plans to have Stacy and Marty come over to play cards and have dinner. Stacy and I usually just make appetizers and don’t make a fuss about food for the evenings we gather to do this, just keep things simple. However, this weekend I wanted to make dinner for them because it was Marty’s birthday and I wanted to do something kind for my friends.

When I told Stacy what I was planning she said. “You don’t have to do that!”

I said. “I know! But cooking is how I show love, so please let me!” She obliged and I was thankful for her allowing me to share love with my dear friends.

It turned out that Marty came down with the stomach bug and they could not come for cards and dinner. “Bummer!” but totally understandable. I was thankful they didn’t come and share it! Yet, I had made plans to make cheesecake since it was a special birthday occasion. I found myself thinking, “Well, I don’t need to make this cheesecake, do I?”

Then I thought on it some more… I was denying myself and my husband the desert just because we weren’t having company? This is a silly way to think! We deserve dessert too, don’t you think? (Heck ya!)

So, I made the cheesecake and the dinner we had intended. Guess what?! They were both delicious! There was no need to deny myself after the work of shopping, cooking, cleaning and preparing throughout the day. Which is exactly what I normally would have done, if I had not recognized my own behavior because of this Nahbi Kriya practice!

It is funny how the Universe puts lessons inside of lessons for me. I have enjoyed learning my lessons through Joy and sharing them with others in hopes of helping them too! Here are some other ways I will work on allowing myself to give and receive, in balance, as it should be.

When I purchase new clothes or shoes; I will promise myself to donate or discard the same number of items from my wardrobe that I no longer like or wear.
When I am thanked or praised by another I will say ‘thank you’ instead of dismissing the compliment. I will allow myself to receive kindness instead of brushing it off. I will freely give praise and kindness to others as well.
When I have an abundance of something, I will share it with others. I will allow others to share their abundance with me! This usually happens regularly with friends that garden and is a joyous experience for all involved!
In a bigger picture kind of way, I am going to make a big effort to donate blood once a month. If I want a good life, wouldn’t it be a cool way to pay it forward by donating blood that gives life?! I like to think so.
After a work week, I will do better at scheduling time to play and relax on the weekends; doing things that bring me joy. I tend to want to use the weekend time to ‘get things done’ instead of recuperating for the next week to come. I will schedule time and make plans to live, laugh and love! Plus, there is a reason we call Sunday, the day of rest!

There are lots of ways to practice giving and receiving and some of us are better at one than the other. Yet it is still very important to find balance, for all of us, for a healthy mind, body, spirit life!

What are the habits and intentions you use to bring balance into your life? I’d love to hear your suggestions. They may help more people than you know!

Wishing you the magical soulful healing you need right now to be the best you can be.

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

Resistance to Change…

October 1, 2018 emyminzel

Is it, self-sabotage?

Change is scary even when it is planned. The unknown of what lies ahead, gives our imagination an opportunity to show us just how creative you can really be. When I am scared but excited, I tend to imagine a beneficial outcome. But when I am just plain scared, the imagined outcome tends to be not so great. I do think that the more energy I put into imagining a ‘good’ result, the more likely it is that I get one.

Do you know why? I do. It is because my thoughts direct my actions. When I am fearful, I tend to make reserved choices and keep myself small, while at the same time being ready to fight at any given moment. I am on edge with myself and the people I encounter in my life when I am fearful. I have realized this is not the energy I wish to share with the world.

Instead I have chosen to look at life as an adventure in which my attitude, my imagination and my state of mind really do manifest the outcome I desire. When I am scared, yet excited about the direction I am headed, I can decide to make the best of the day and choose to bring good energy to my experiences. I can decide with my everyday choices where I direct my energy and what kind of energy I am emitting.

I can choose to be kind and inquisitive when I encounter people or situations unfamiliar to me. I can choose to believe in the good in the world around me. I can choose to know that the path that lies ahead of me is exactly where I am supposed to be. I can choose to do my best through my everyday actions to make the day enjoyable or not…

So, even though I tend to be somewhat resistant to change, I know that nothing is permanent in our lives. We can get comfortable and stuck in our ruts that do not challenge us, which is a nice rest from constantly striving or doing. Yet, when you hear the call of your heart, those ruts can be hard to get out of. It takes a great deal of effort, persistence and determination to get going. Which is a lot of work; gosh darn it! Why can’t change just be easy?

I believe change can be easy when I accept it and let it be the divine guidance it was meant to be. But, no… that’s just not how I roll somedays. Somedays I get upset about the changes forced upon my daily life that may require more effort and energy then I really want to give at that particular time or day. I can be as stubborn as my beloved bulldog Gus about change and I know it. Especially if I had planned to do something and life has different ideas for me.

Stacy and I had been talking about our common goals, that we are trying to accomplish together, yet we do them in our own ways. Publishing our book series is one of our goals, but we also share our life goals together. When I am thinking of making a change to my diet, or my lifestyle, I call my friend Stacy and we talk about it like sisters do. We process outcomes together, we offer support and personal experiences that we think will help each other.

Recently I had told her of a personal goal that I was not sure I would be able to accomplish but I know in my heart would be for the best. She said “Okay! Let’s do this together so we can support each!” this showing of sisterly support made me feel like “Yes. We can do this!” Because we will have each other to talk to, when the test of life and time come around like it always does.

The very next day after this conversation we saw a statement that stated “Resistance to change, is really self-sabotage”

When I think about it, I think it is true. Can you imagine if we all still acted like we did in high school while well into your forties?! I know a few people like this. People who like how it was, people who have learned all they needed to learn (or knew it all at age 18) so they feel they are just fine, thanks. Some folks just choose not to grow or change! We must learn to accept that, but we do not have to do the same.

Although, in my experience, the people who refuse to grow get very uncomfortable watching you grow. And that’s okay. I have decided I will not dim my light because it is shining in their eyes. I have experienced more of what life has to offer by taking risks and allowing myself to grow and change. I would not change any of the challenges of change that life has asked of me. It has made me into who I am today.

You know what? I really like who I am! I love that I have been changed by adventure, challenges, heartbreak, motherhood, friendship, and even my career path that all got me here today. My journey has softened my edges, given me patience and wisdom to know that I always have something to learn. I have learned that my resistance to change is futile and just makes the journey harder on me then it has to be! I have learned that if I want something new in my life I must do and accomplish new things and apply new effort.

So, I agree, resistance to change can be self-sabotage that keeps me from learning the lessons I need to grow. I don’t have to change all at once, I can usually choose to change in my own way, at my own pace. What makes change easier for me is putting my creative imagination to good use by expecting and acting in ways that will foster a favorable outcome. I can choose to make the most of it or go kicking and screaming the whole way. But, purposely putting out good vibes into the direction I am going, seems to make it a more comfortable journey.

Shine your light and vibe on, my adventurous friends! You CAN do this, and you GOT this! I believe in you.

Adventure awaits! Don’t be scared, be excited!

Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

EmyforHouse.com

@emyminzel

@EmyforHouse15A

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister