It’s no secret that our life path is just made up of decisions we make along the way. In our careers, family, friends and even our health, the path is a product of decisions we’ve made prior. How my life looks today is directly because of the things I chose in the past. Sometimes we make bad decisions because we just don’t know, what we don’t know yet!
We must not kick ourselves in the butt when we do find out. It is then that we can use that opportunity to make an even more informed decision and move on from there. Who I am now, recognizes that in my younger years I would sometimes try to blame others for my failings instead of taking responsibility for my decisions. I had to get out of my own way and grow. I had to learn it was all up to me and my decisions to get the life I wanted.
Even when my decision was to be lazy and unproductive with my time, affecting any progress, the old me would think “Well if it’s meant to be it will be!” When really, it will be if I decide to make it so!
When Stacy posted her blog Let’s talk about Desire yesterday on stacycrep.com she hit the nail on the head talking about desire and distraction. I wanted to share my expericence of chosing destractions over what I truly desired and how I changed my thinking to prioritize what I truly wanted.
This thinking ‘if it was meant to be will be’ was justifying behaviors and decisions that were not getting me anywhere! I just didn’t see that it was me, standing in my way to the life I really wanted. It took years before I was ready to admit that my dissatisfaction was my own fault. That the decisions I made each moment of the day was the product of how I felt about life. Then, I had my “Ah ha!” moment and realized that nobody can change my life but me!
After this awakening, I started experimenting with mantras and found one that I loved and motivated me to take responsibility for my decisions. I still have it on a post-it note on my bathroom mirror. It says “I deserve the best! I take charge of my schedule and my life!” This simple yet powerful mantra moved me to get off the couch and start making progress towards the career and life I know I wanted but wasn’t making any progress getting too. I finally saw it because I stopped procrastinating and started doing what I knew I needed to do.
For years I knew I wanted to be a writer, yet I just did not believe in myself. So, I did not even attempt to write. When I did, it was in my journal and for my eyes only. I complained about it a lot because I was so unhappy with my lack of progress. Instead of taking the initiative to write something worth sharing, I would nap, clean, veg on the couch or anything at all besides write. How in the world did I expect to be a writer if I wasn’t confident enough to even try?
It was one small, yet life-changing decision several years ago, that got me fired up about my life goals again. Adventure Sister Stacy had encouraged me to start writing and she decided she was also going to write too. This sister solidarity gave me just enough support that I was willing to give it a shot. When we started writing, Stacy and I set a small goal of 500 words a week to keep us accountable. The best surprise was that we both ended up blowing the doors off that goal and had a great time while doing it!
We kept writing and writing and now have three books waiting for us to publish! As it turns out, editing is not cheap, and we needed to find a way to pay for the next step of making our publishing goals happen. A year after we got just our book proposals edited and paid for, we still needed the money to edit the rest of the books. We sat on this conundrum for a while and together made the decision to start putting together women’s retreats to help raise the funds to bring our books to fruition!
This is a very exciting next step in our writing careers, and all came about organically from our decision to keep making progress towards our goals and dreams. When it occurs to me that I wasted several years of my life because of my decision not to believe in myself, it can bum me out at times. Yet I know I cannot get down on myself too bad, because you don’t know, what you don’t know until you know! When you do, look at the progress you can make!
I am so thankful that I made myself take initiative to make one of my dreams come true. I did this by taking responsibility for how I was spending my time and energy and changed it to what I needed. These small decisions added up to big changes in myself and my life. I do my best to make good decisions and take responsibility with this life I’ve been blessed with. Doing so has increased my self-esteem and motivates me to keep moving forward with my goals and dreams; one small decision at a time.
Wishing you love and blessings,
Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister
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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister
*Photo taken at Candie Kitchen in Knife River, Minnesota