Are you, perfectly Imperfect too?

I write a great deal about life lessons, self-improvement, personal and spiritual growth. Lately though, it has occurred to me that I am always trying to change something about myself. I’m forever quitting sugar, alcohol, meat, dairy, coffee or other habits; depending on my motives. I am currently working through a dedicated 40 straight days of kundalini exercise, that looks down upon taking a day off for life. If I miss a day, I have to restart the count!

All these self-improvement desires and rules I set for myself tend to lead to a lot of ”shoulding” myself. Every day I say: “I should do this or should do that… Don’t do this or don’t do that.” When I eat sugar or have a glass of wine; should I feel bad about it? When I don’t have time or I just plain don’t feel like doing yoga, well, that leads to me feeling like I am letting myself down. Not a great feeling!

This cycle of setting my standards high (and sometimes impractical) has started to make me think. “When is it okay to just love myself exactly as I am?” Yes, I do these things to be healthier and happier, but when I let myself down, I feel bad about it and this does not make me feel happy at all! It has the opposite effect, and this makes me want to eat my feelings and a lot of cake.

This cycle of high expectations turns into failing perfectionism, not self-improvement. It turns into a twisted way to psychologically torture myself into feeling weak for failing at all these self-imposed rules. Gahhhhhhh!

Guess what?! Turns out that I am very much imperfect. How about you?

This got me thinking. When is it okay to accept and love myself just as I am? Imperfectly perfect. So what if I carry a few extra pounds? I still love my curves (my husband does too), my personality, and my smile. I am healthy enough to walk my dog, kayak, camp, and adventure without pain. Is my weight and sugar habit really as big of a problem as I seem to think it is?

What do my subconscious and body feel, when I cannot let myself love me just as I am? This cannot be healthy either, can it? I know that humans have layers of consciousness and deep down we know if we love ourselves or not. Yes, I know that taking care of your body, mind, and spirit is self-love. However, I also am beginning to see that having unrealistic expectations can have the opposite effect.

What if I tried something super drastic like loving myself enough to allow for the imperfections and what makes me, me?! I know that I love others who are not perfect, and I do not expect anybody to be picture-perfect! To me this proves it is very much possible to love someone just as they are. So can I love myself just as I am also? I have decided to give it a shot.

After trying to change some of the habits in my life and failing at some of them, I just started to wonder. “Maybe this is just who I am?” Is it really so awful if I have cake and coffee for breakfast once in a while?! I mean, come on man! That is the best part of being an adult! If I don’t eat cake every day, which of course, I do not. Then what is the problem?

I believe the point of life is to enjoy the way we choose to live it! Why do I ‘should myself’ or feel as if I am letting myself down for enjoying some sweetness in life?! Does a number on the scale and the fact I did not meditate today, change who I am inside? NO! It does not. Does anybody else care that I did not measure up to my own lofty standards? I doubt it.

Today I am choosing to love myself as I am! I am just me; Perfectly imperfect.

Sending you love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

www.AdventurewithEmyandStacy.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

 

You’re in the soup.

Adventure Sister Stacy is an excellent friend. One reason for this is that she lets me know when she thinks I should try and step away from a situation to get a clearer picture. She tells me kindly “You’re in the soup. You can’t see everything from the inside. It’s time to step away and out of the pot, so you can see a bigger perspective.”

I love that she cares enough about me to tell me the truth when I am in a soupy situation.

Like most everyone, I tend to complain and vent to my best friend when life gets frustrating. I share with her because I can trust her to give me feedback from a different point of view. It’s like taste testing a spoonful of soup and asking. “What’s missing? What can I add to make this better?”

They say it is the journey and not the destination that we must find enjoyment in. It’s taken me years to figure out that’s because the journey is the process of planning and doing that almost always takes a much longer amount of your time and effort, before we finally get to our target aspirations. There we end only to start all over again towards another destination.

The journey is life! Life is the journey. I love to cook and that’s why I like to use cooking metaphors to express my messages and share my life lessons. My life is the soup and I am the chef on the journey to making the best, most scrumptious soul-warming soup I possibly can!

When I try to add too much to my soup of life, it becomes unbalanced and not nearly as tasty as a simple chicken soup with few tasty ingredients. That’s because the less ingredients and seasonings I add, the easier it is to experience the simple flavors that we savor.

Isn’t this also true of life? When we add too much to our lives its overwhelming and not as enjoyable as a simple, balanced life full of the people and activities that we enjoy.

Sometimes we think if we add ‘just a little more’, that we will be even happier and our soup of life will be all the better, yet that doesn’t happen. We end up wishing we had not added those things after all. But now they are in there… and you can’t take them out and you are stuck with the flavor, even though it just doesn’t taste right. This is when you are in the soup!

Now you’ve learned though, and you are not going to do that again! It’s still okay to eat this soup and so we do; because we invested our time and effort on the journey to make this soup. We may think we need to add just a little more of this or a pinch of that to make it ‘better’. When really, we just need to enjoy our chef’s journey. Learn to enjoy the feeling of contentment our simply delicious, homemade chicken soup truly brings to our lives.

That the best thing about soup! It can be the same or different every single time, depending on how the chef is feeling that day!  I hardly ever make the same soup twice because I don’t like to use recipes. My daughter once said to me, after tasting a delicious homemade concoction. “I am sad because I know, I just had the best soup of my life and I will never taste it again.”

That’s because there was no recipe, same as life, it was handcrafted by the Chef’s spirit that lives inside of me and I don’t even remember what I used. I see our lives as one batch of soup after the other. Sometimes we must try what we don’t like just to figure out what we do.

Sometimes others can see your soupy life better then you can when we’re standing in it. That is why I love my friends and family who love me enough to say to me. “You’re in the soup!”

Maybe if you step back you will see it also. Who knows, you just might be in the best soup of your life right now!!! So savor and enjoy it with all your senses! Remember what ingredients you used and how you balanced those flavors with your attention to detail. (What amount of each Mind/Body/Spirit/Family/Love/Work feels and tastes just right to you?)

Try and remember the amount of attention it took to craft it just right and remember: “You are the chef of your life.” Remind yourself of this whenever you feel unbalanced or overwhelmed, that you can go back to the basics and make your favorite, soul comforting, simple soup. You have the power. You are the Chef of your soupy life.

I love you. You got this.

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

 

 

 

Finding a balance ~

Finding a few small steps towards finding balance ~

Do you ever have a hard time keeping balance in your life? I think most people do at various times. I know some days I do much better than other days but giving and receiving are part of how the world works. It’s an energetic exchange that applies to the natural world and what you give out should be coming back to you. Very similar to how we go to work; then we get a paycheck. Most of us would not go to work every day if we were not getting something of value in return, right?

I’ll give you an example; Stacy and I have decided to dedicate ourselves to a 40-day Nabhi Kriya Kundalini Yoga practice as part of our self-healing journey. It is a spiritual and physical challenge to make our well-being a priority and it also needs to be done every single day, for 40 days. Some days we breeze through easy peasy. Other days we put it off until the last minute. Last Friday I squeaked it in just before midnight!

As part of this Yoga routine, they give you about a 4-minute rest period call Savasana/Corse pose. I have noticed, that when I am super busy with life things, I get a bit antsy when laying there. Thinking. “okay. Is this part over yet? I have things to do.” The routine gives you this time to rest and reflect as it is part of the spiritual teaching and holds a significant purpose; that is why they put it in the practice.

Nabhi Kriya is almost like an aerobic exercise and feels like a workout. I truly enjoy how it makes me feel and the energy it gives me. But I seem to have this urge to deny myself the ‘resting’ part of the practice, when I have really earned it! I literally feel my brain wanting to reject receiving what it is my body/mind/spirit needs, after this physical practice and for what?!

This is not the natural way of the world. To give and to receive in perfect balance is the way it is supposed to work. I am not doing myself any favors by thinking I don’t have the time or deserve the rest my body needs after this workout. I make myself lay and finish the Savasana, clearly, I realize I must train my brain to allow myself to relax.

This is probably why lots of people think they are not ‘good’ at meditating. It’s our overactive minds keeping us from peace. It is our job to control our thoughts and actions. If we train ourselves to exercise every day for 40 days, we sure should be able to meditate or stay in a state of relaxation for 5 minutes a day!

Doing this practice has led to a huge self-realization that I have not been allowing myself to receive the rest/relaxation/good feelings, that I know in my heart, I have ‘earned’ after doing the work! Do you know how this hidden habit I formed, can block my progress in everyday life?! Holy moly kids! This is a breakthrough discovery!

The realization that I do not easily allow myself to receive, has led me to act on that imbalance in all areas of my life. There is a mantra I like to use that serves as a reminder for my brain. “I take in life in perfect balance.” It is a verbal queue to let me allow myself to give and receive what it is I need.

It may even be a bit of human nature to martyr. That is because it is easier to give than receive for some people. When we see people who live like this, it’s easy to see it is not a healthy way to live. You also must work on filling your own cup.

We are not made to give and give until there is nothing left. It’s not the way the universe is supposed to work! There are plenty of us who have this habit and we don’t even see it. Now that my eyes have been opened, I will give you an example of how I made steps to correct it.

Just this weekend we had plans to have Stacy and Marty come over to play cards and have dinner. Stacy and I usually just make appetizers and don’t make a fuss about food for the evenings we gather to do this, just keep things simple. However, this weekend I wanted to make dinner for them because it was Marty’s birthday and I wanted to do something kind for my friends.

When I told Stacy what I was planning she said. “You don’t have to do that!”

I said. “I know! But cooking is how I show love, so please let me!” She obliged and I was thankful for her allowing me to share love with my dear friends.

It turned out that Marty came down with the stomach bug and they could not come for cards and dinner. “Bummer!” but totally understandable. I was thankful they didn’t come and share it! Yet, I had made plans to make cheesecake since it was a special birthday occasion. I found myself thinking, “Well, I don’t need to make this cheesecake, do I?”

Then I thought on it some more… I was denying myself and my husband the desert just because we weren’t having company? This is a silly way to think! We deserve dessert too, don’t you think? (Heck ya!)

So, I made the cheesecake and the dinner we had intended. Guess what?! They were both delicious! There was no need to deny myself after the work of shopping, cooking, cleaning and preparing throughout the day. Which is exactly what I normally would have done, if I had not recognized my own behavior because of this Nahbi Kriya practice!

It is funny how the Universe puts lessons inside of lessons for me. I have enjoyed learning my lessons through Joy and sharing them with others in hopes of helping them too! Here are some other ways I will work on allowing myself to give and receive, in balance, as it should be.

  1. When I purchase new clothes or shoes; I will promise myself to donate or discard the same number of items from my wardrobe that I no longer like or wear.
  2. When I am thanked or praised by another I will say ‘thank you’ instead of dismissing the compliment. I will allow myself to receive kindness instead of brushing it off. I will freely give praise and kindness to others as well.
  3. When I have an abundance of something, I will share it with others. I will allow others to share their abundance with me! This usually happens regularly with friends that garden and is a joyous experience for all involved!
  4. In a bigger picture kind of way, I am going to make a big effort to donate blood once a month. If I want a good life, wouldn’t it be a cool way to pay it forward by donating blood that gives life?! I like to think so.
  5. After a work week, I will do better at scheduling time to play and relax on the weekends; doing things that bring me joy. I tend to want to use the weekend time to ‘get things done’ instead of recuperating for the next week to come. I will schedule time and make plans to live, laugh and love! Plus, there is a reason we call Sunday, the day of rest!

There are lots of ways to practice giving and receiving and some of us are better at one than the other. Yet it is still very important to find balance, for all of us, for a healthy mind, body, spirit life!

What are the habits and intentions you use to bring balance into your life? I’d love to hear your suggestions. They may help more people than you know!

Wishing you the magical soulful healing you need right now to be the best you can be.

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

 

My daughters laugh

My favorite sound is laughter. Specifically, the sound of my daughter’s laughter. From the very first giggle to now, 25 years later, her laugh is still a sound that makes heart swell and my soul beam. Sure, I love the singing of the birds, great music of all sorts, listening to ocean waves or a thunderstorm but the sound that moves my soul, and I will never have enough of, is my daughters laugh.

(Then and now.)

She probably doesn’t know I pay that much attention, but I do. I can tell you when she laughs to be polite. If she is joking around or being sarcastic. Oh, and trust me, you don’t want to cross her path when she is vocalizing an angry laugh! She has lots of laughs and I think I know them all.

My favorite though, is her sincere, kind and loving laugh. It is the genuine laugh that comes from her belly and out her eyes and smile. I love it when she is laughing at something funny or just having a great time with family or friends. When she is playing on the floor at Christmas or the birthdays of our littlest family members; my daughter is good with children and her patience and kindness shows as she laughs at the little one’s cuteness and innocence.

She doesn’t know this but her smile and laugh brighten any room. When I hear her laugh, I hope with my whole being that she is as genuinely happy as the twinkling laughter that comes out of her. As a mom, I understand what it means when you say. “I just want you to be happy.” I don’t care what she does for a career or how much money she makes. I don’t care if she gets married or not, wants children or instead blesses me with furry grandbabies.

I only care that her heart is full of joy and she is happy with however she chooses to live her life. I only care that her laugh is real, and that she can be as liberal with it as often as she likes. The mom in me wishes I could help her with all the adulting challenges, we all have to face, but that’s not fair to her either. Everyone is supposed to have their own journey to live and learn from.

I pray for my daughter’s journey to be so full of joy she gets to share her wonderful laugh with as many people as she possibly can. She really has a great sense of humor and I love when she uses it to make others laugh with her. I hope she finds delight in the small everyday moments and gets the chance to have thrills and experiences so wonderful, she cannot hold her laughter inside.

Danica family reunion 2015 (This is my daughter, having fun teasing her grandma who she adores!)

These are the thoughts and prayers I send my daughter, instead of worry or concern during a rough patch. I send loving intentions out into the Universe for my baby girl to always keep and feel like sharing her delightful, loveable laugh that I love.

And so, it is.

I’d like to know, what is your favorite sound and why?

 

Thank you for reading my blog today. Wishing you an abundance of blessings and joy!

Love to you all Adventurers!

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

 

Oh no! Your flights canceled…

On my way home from our Adventure Sisters Retreat in Florida. Stacy and I both had some delays getting to our destinations, when it was time to go home. My connecting flight home was canceled which left me stranded in Chicago at the airport. The airline I was using said they couldn’t get me home until the next day or maybe not until Friday! It was Monday morning and I want to get home to see my boys!

What was funny is that I had been thinking on the way to Florida, instead of complaining about the length of my travel, I need to focus on saying to God/The Universe “What a blessing that I get to travel all day!”

As the Universe/God does, it gave me more of just what I had asking for. Silly me. I guess I need to be much more specific when manifesting thoughts. I really did want to get home to my fabulous husband and my wonderful life. But as life does, sometimes your plans get changed for you.

Stacy and I had spent the whole weekend practicing to raise our vibrations and vowing to hold ourselves accountable for the energy we bring into the world. We even posted a video to the Adventure Sister’s Facebook page about trusting in divine timing and bringing your “best self” to circumstances that may not be so happy.  So, I figured, this was my test from the Universe to see how I would handle this exact situation and change of plans to my own life.

Sure, I could be mad, plenty of other travelers were! I could even complain to everyone I saw or make a ruckus. Yet it would not change the fact that the flight was canceled due to the weather and the workers at the airport are not responsible for that.

My husband decided to purchase me another ticket from a different airline, that was based in Minnesota; so, we were fairly certain they would get me home. Yet it wasn’t scheduled to leave until later that night and it was still morning. The weather cleared up, but I had another 7 hours to wait before I could check back in for my 6:00 flight. I worked to do my best to keep my thoughts positive and my hopes high. I was not happy about having to purchase another ticket though, not cool. Yet, I knew I had to keep my thoughts positive.

I was working on trusting that this delay was for my greatest good. I decided I was going to just embrace the fate of my long wait and hunkered down to write. I now had the whole day to work from the airport! I did my best to take some deep breathes and bring peace to myself. After all, I love having time to write uninterrupted! Although, I would prefer more comfortable seating. I decided to write for a couple hours and had to take a bathroom break. As I walked past the ticketing counter, I thought to myself…

“Maybe I should just try and ask if this new airline happens to have a flight going back to Minneapolis any earlier? The worst they could say is no.” I told myself.

Guess what?! The ticketing agent was not only very kind and helpful but got me on a flight that was leaving in just an hour! “OH JOY!” I was so happy I almost cried. It felt like such a weight was lifted off my shoulders; that I was going to get home soon. After all, there is no place like home and I really wanted to get there.

This event just confirmed what I already knew. It is my job to take responsibility for my attitude and my words; even in times of stress and confusion. I can choose to work myself up in anger, or better, I can choose to just work! I decided to seize the day and write about all I had learned about myself this weekend. While the Universe gave me the opportunity to practice my new/refreshed knowledge. So, I figured, I would share my synchronistic Monday morning lesson from the Universe with you too.

I have learned to trust what happens on my journey through life.

I have learned that I am okay in my own skin; even when my experience isn’t matching my expectations.

I have learned the energy I bring makes all the difference to myself and my situation.

I have learned to be more specific when manifesting travel!

I have even learned I will now take direct flights because they are worth it to me and I am worth it!

There are a lot of things that go through your mind when derailed from your path, but it’s up to us to rise above any negative thoughts.

I mean really…. The Universe/God just has a sense of humor in the way it sends it messages sometimes, doesn’t it? Today, I did do my best to keep a smile in my heart while I trusted the wait. I held onto hope that the Universe/God would get me home to see my husband very soon.

And it did. All I had to do was ask!

Wishing safe and timely travels adventurers!!! Keep your chin up and you let your light shine while you trust divine timing!

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

 

*Photo taken in Orlando, Florida