Recently while running the tub for a bath I had an epiphany of sorts. I took my time to fill the tub ensuring the water was at the perfect …Cold Feet
Recently while running the tub for a bath I had an epiphany of sorts. I took my time to fill the tub ensuring the water was at the perfect temperature. I added Epsom salt and essential oil to optimize the experience of my respite time. I lit a candle and made sure the house was quiet.
Relaxing in the tub was something that I was looking forward to. It had been a busy day. When the tub was full, I stepped in and realized even though the temperature of the water was delightful to my hands and arms, my feet told my brain.
“Retreat! Retreat! Warning!!! Warning!!!! There is hot molten lava in the tub!”
“What?! Come on feet!” I thought to myself reaching down to touch the water with my hand again to be sure of what I already knew.
“Yep. Still perfect. What the heck feet?” I thought a little annoyed at the delay of my relaxation.
It took me a long time to convince the flashing warning lights of my feet to calm down. I had been running around the house with no socks on and my feet were cold before I stuck them in the bath water. The environment my feet had been exposed to all day had negatively affected my relaxation event.
After quite a few minutes I finally acclimatized my sensitive feet to the temperature by giving in and adding some cold water. As I sank into the tub and I wondered to myself.
“How many times in life did I reject a pleasant experience because I was uncomfortable with it? How many opportunities have I missed out on because of my metaphorical cold feet?”
There are moments in my life when the fear of change made me so uncomfortable, I decided against it. But was this the right thing to do? In this instance I knew I wanted to relax in the bathtub, I had looked forward to it all day. Yet the reaction of my cold feet hitting the warm water distorted my experience and not in a pleasant way at all.
“How many times has a cool environment caused warning signs that were unfounded because that is all I had known?” I wondered.
It seems to me I can think of quite a few and that disheartens me a bit. However, I think this hot tub, cold feet experience was exactly as it was supposed to be. It was not meant to dishearten me. Rather it was meant to open my eyes and become aware to a deeper understanding of myself and my patterns of being.
Now I am a thinker, and, in the bathtub, you have lots of time to contemplate. So, I continued.
“How often has the company I keep effected my response to opportunities as well? If I am surrounded by others who often have negative thinking patterns, who offer unsupportive comments or those who are guided by their fears rather than their dreams…. How often does that affect me and the decisions I make?” I wondered to myself.
If I am used to aloof surroundings; warm welcomes, and kindnesses may feel uncomfortable right?! I think you know the answer to that.
The company you keep has a giant affect on your life even if we do not realize it at the time. For me this did not mean I had to run away and move to the forest to live alone and in recluse. It was a gentle reminder from the Universe to SEE patterns I was unconsciously allowing so I could change them.
It was an opportunity to see into the subconscious desire to stay the same temperature. I was allowing lower vibe to run the show. It may feel uncomfortable, scary, or even seem painful at first. But once you tune in to the reality of our experience, a warm change can be quite delightful.
It was an intuitive opportunity to see what I had been missing all along. It is up to me to say.
“Nope. This this is not true cold feet. This is not lava. It is not a true story you are telling me. This is how I see it.” I get to change the skewed narrative that is currently floating around me.
Just because voices of my past are bringing doubts and discouragements or those in my support system are sounding their alarms. It does not mean that it is the correct guidance. They may also be offering and projecting their experiences to you as a warning because they care. Or maybe not… anyway, take that into consideration as well.
Like the sensation of my cold feet submerging into a warm bath felt uncomfortable. So, does going against the ‘norm’ in decision making! It was a nice reminder to take my time, to move at my own pace and allow my cold feet to warm up to the idea of a nice hot bath. Often you must go through a painful or uncomfortable period to get to a beautiful experience.
Next time I find myself with ‘cold feet’ I will ask myself.
“What can I do to transform this experience if I really want it? Is my trepidation, fear or pain a true story or is it perceived because of the situation I was just in? Would moving forward and continuing actually help me to reduce the uncomfortable sensations in the long run???”
In the end, yes. Proceeding towards my desires was exactly what I needed to do. My bath did feel fabulous, and it offered more than relaxation. It cleared the cobwebs of unconscious stagnation by offering insights downloaded by some magical force.
It is a nice reminder of the things that can happen when we give ourselves time to be quite and allow ourselves an opportunity to listen for higher guidance. We do not have to be sitting cross legged in meditation when it happens. We only have to allow quiet time for ourselves and be open to receiving.
The leaves are turning a stunning array of vibrant colors here in Minnesota. Once the trees are done changing color, they shed its summer shelter releasing what no longer serves it. We can learn a lot from trees, and the cycle of nature. Allowing ourselves to let go of what has lost purpose in our lives makes room for what does!
It a great time to release relationships, behaviors, emotions, careers, and other goals you may have pursued at one time but no longer have passion for. Humans have a lot of feelings about everything. It can be difficult to let things end that you have put so much time and effort into creating.
Nature doesn’t seem to have a problem letting go though. She takes her time and lets it happen in its own rhythm. Yet, when I look out my window. I wonder if it is painful and laborious to change seasons? Somedays it is for me! Witnessing the effort Mother Nature puts into growing in the spring; only to watch it die and disappear in the autumn must feel arduous in some way.
We can feel that way when it’s time to let things go in our lives. Still, if we pay attention, we know that the cyclic nature of Mother Earth reflects in our lives too. If we edit the parts of our lives as ruthlessly as she can. We could see how detached from the outcome she is. She trusts that it is the way it is supposed to be.
Underneath the fallen foliage is next year’s seeds germinating waiting for the right time to burst forth and bloom. If this is the case, why then would it be any different for us? Why do we resist releasing what does not serve our greatest good every once in a while?
Is it only me or do you also have trouble deciding to let parts of your life just wither and die? Sometimes it is easy to let go if you are excited about what’s next! Maybe that is the most important ingredient of it all? Attitude and trusting in the process of life to unfold as it should, undoubtedly will help.
Mother Nature is not worried about the fall because she is ready for her winter rest. I’d like to think that is the case anyway. Nothing in life blooms all year and that is true for me and you, too. We need time and space to rest in the years fresh compost of our experiences to germinate our new beginnings.
My random introverted contemplations help me move through fluctuations in my life. Like the leaves signaling the change of seasons. If I simply allow nature to do its job while harvesting the apples of wisdom I grew through the summer. Life will flow effortlessly into the next beautiful transition of a new year.
Like Mother Nature, I look forward to the changing season. I trust the landscape of my life to be transformed into the divinely guided journey that is our own unique natural cycle of existence. I must allow people, places, feelings, and things to come or go as they please. With a deep knowing that I have no control even if I wanted it. Let go and let God.
Trusting my life to the nature of destiny is easy as I witness the ever-changing landscape from my window year after year. Finding the beauty in every falling leaf of my life lessons is how I give thanks and let go for my own good.
What has nature taught you? I would love to hear your thoughts!
Sending peace, love, and success!
Blessings to you!
Ugh! Do you ever have big arguments in a close relationship and then you just get lost in them? I mean like, losing days, weeks and even months of your life because they are blanketed with a sense of sadness, anger and disappointment. I realize this from personal experience of course, because that is how I learn best.
Recently, I have let disagreements with loved ones overshadow my love of life. The things I once loved to do have fallen by the wayside so I could focus on being fully and completely pissed off at everything. Do you ever have those times? It’s not in my nature to be so angry for so long, yet I was, and I let it take over.
There are things I know for sure and lots that I have left to learn. What I know for sure is that life isn’t meant to be dreaded, tolerated or merely survived. When the whole world around you seems to be crumbling to the ground, it is our opportunity to pick up those pieces and build the life we truly want, in the way that works for us. In this tough emotional time I had to allow things to crumble to see what stayed.
It’s tough to admit that is up to us to take responsibility, brush ourselves off and get back into the sweet flow of life. Nobody else can do that for you or me, as much as we would like the help up onto our feet. The Universe says. “Nope. This is your job.” Happiness is an inside job and should not be dependent on your relationships, career, or goals.
You cannot give the responsibility of your contentment or healing to anyone else but yourself. Taking yoga teacher training has helped me do much needed inner work to find what it is that makes me happy beyond these things we let define us. It’s something that I knew in my head yet found hard to put into practice of my life consistently.
We often ask others for advice and I’ve learned it’s better to go within and ask yourself what to do especially with intimate relationships. Once the power of emotion has settled, our inner wisdom has a lot to offer us if we are willing to trust it, and ourselves. This time ruminating was also a blessing that offered healing. I was able to accept responsibility for my part and make the motions to course correct.
Yet, how is it fair if I don’t offer the same compassion, time and opportunity to process these big emotions to the other person in this story? They are hurt and trying to heal too.
Sharing life with loved ones is challenging when we grow at different speeds, in different directions and in different ways. Sometimes it seems clear and apparent we are going in opposite directions testing our skills of communication, compassion and love. This is marriage, this is family, friendship and life. Right? Right.
During this inner conflict, I have learned I must heal myself, and the emotional wounds before moving forward. I learned this because I kept licking it and preventing myself from healing. Dragging out the time I needed to heal the wound that came in between my relationships. I had to do my own inner work.
Pointing fingers, placing blame or denying any responsibility in relationship problems is childish no matter how old you are… Doing the work to accept that maybe we aren’t innocent or perfect after all is entirely better for spiritual growth than forgiving others for wrongs against you.
We only know our version of the story in a relationship. It’s also the only story we have the ability to edit and change what we will except and allow in our lives. Opening our hearts to the possibility we don’t know the whole narrative is hard yet transformative.
To love someone unconditionally means that you love the hurt, wounded parts of them that lash out and bleed all over you and vice versa. The longer you share your life with them the more opportunities we have to allow this happen. So, do we say? “F it. I give up on you.” Or do we choose to say. “Well, this sucks, how do we heal it?”.
Just like an earthquake it takes a long time to recover from an emotional disaster that hits a relationship. It can take years if you aren’t willing, ready or able to take responsibly to do the work of the clean-up. This is true for our own personal growth and awareness too.
Cleaning up your own inner garden, taking care of your part of a relationship, doing the work to heal, or choosing to build a wall around your heart is up to you. You get to choose who you are going to be in this world. You can let someone else define you with their projections, or you can create and define yourself.
What I have learned from the pieces of the tumbling tower of these relationships is that it is up to me to fix it. Well, me and the other person, it takes two to have a relationship. We can wish, hope, pray all we want but if we aren’t willing to take the steps, do the work or put in emotional commitment of effort then it’s not going to happen.
You can live life in the pile of rubble, or you get up, dust off and start rebuilding to something better. Life isn’t always full of joy, sunshine and success, sometimes it hands you the gift of breaking down what no longer serves your highest good so that you can start from scratch to nurture what does.
I’ve learned to let go of the hurt and anger because it was only harming me and preventing growth that the Universe/God was intending to manifest. I also learned that letting go was easier than hanging on to patterns, behaviors, and thoughts that were not working.
So, when we watch the relationship towers fall and crumble before our eyes, along with all the work and effort that took years to build. I see now that it was God saying “Nope. Not like that. Here you go, you still have all the pieces, now try again.” Graciously giving us a chance to rebuild a life, relationships/career, that is better suited for us.
It is a blessing in disguise if we aren’t too busy dwelling on the rubble to start gathering up what is salvageable and begin again.
So here I go, allowing the artist in me to create a new way of moving forward with love in my heart. I bless this pain for it called me out, asking me to take back the responsibility of co-creating my beautiful life.
I trust this path is guided by the ultimate Creator/God and that they know exactly what they are doing. The Universe was just handing me the tools and jolt of awakening I needed to believe that I had the power to do so.
Wishing you all security, joy and unconditional love you deserve!
Blessings of health,
P.s I wavered about posting a blog that complains about life while there is so much going on with the Coronavirus. In the end, I decided to post it because I’ve realized how much time I’ve wasted being mad, fearful and just unhappy, to take so much time out of my beautiful life.
I believe this virus will have the same effect on the world as my life lesson experience has had on me. It has changed me, and my perspective going forward in how I grow myself and my relationships. I believe we will be given time look around us and see what is truly important. Look and see the blessings in front of you and enjoy them now.
I also believe this is the Universe helping us to see what is not working for greater good. It’s giving us a chance to fix broken healthcare and political systems. Giving us time to see the good in each other while work together to rebuild with the pieces in the aftermath of a pandemic.
As the world goes through this experience together, we will finally be able to see we are all connected. We will see working in unity will be the only way to survive and thrive. I believe there will be light, hope and love at the end of this life lesson given to the world.
I believe we are learning to be kind, caring and loving humans in this mass awakening.
Peace be with you.
Surfing through social media, I saw a meme picture of a pumpkin with words written all over it. The premise behind it was that each day, you write one thing you are thankful for. You can use the pumpkin as a fall centerpiece or just enjoy it as a visual reminder of all the blessings we wrote down throughout the month. Our pumpkin was gifted to us by my aunt, which is something I can already be thankful for!
I thought this was a lovely idea, and since starting this thankfulness practice, it seems to have had a splendid effect on my daily life. Each morning when I open my eyes, I have started my morning by giving thanks for the day before me. There were days I woke up grumpy, but after making it a point to give thanks for my blessings, it turned my mood around remarkably.
What I didn’t expect was that even random interactions with the world around me seemed to benefit. Was my face reflecting the peace of the gratitude I felt? Helping strangers feel welcome to show kindness, smile, or give me a compliment? I started to enjoy my work even more than usual when I made sure to send gratitude for the opportunity to help my clients before each session. Random people at the grocery store would start up conversations or compliment me.
Kindhearted interactions seemed to be a pleasant byproduct of the self-inflicted attitude adjustment I needed. I had been feeling frustrated and down about things beyond my control. It occurred to me that it is my responsibility to manage my attitude and I can change how I was looking at things. I decided I must do something to transform my negative ruminating. I needed a positive push and this Thanksgiving pumpkin idea came around the perfect moment.
I did not know how profoundly my shift in gratitude would move me! That is how it goes sometimes, isn’t it? One random choice to change something seemingly small turns out to be precisely what you needed all along! My new attitude of gratitude has remarkably helped lift my mood and the quality of my days. Instead of looking only for what’s wrong in each situation, I look for the blessings too.
Giving myself permission to be happy for no reason other than I decided too, was liberating. I found when I show thanks for life, family, friends, work, and all the blessings I sometimes take for granted, it is almost contagious. That’s my experience anyway. I know it sounds a little Pollyanna like but there is wisdom in choosing to be grateful!
Last week I bumped into a client while in town who said to me after a short chat. “You know, sometimes you just have to be thankful!” I said. “Yes! Yes!!!” That client did not know of my thankfulness experiment. Still, it was like she was a messenger from above confirming my findings. I love it when synchronicities happen! It’s like a sign from the Universe you are on to something useful here.
It seems it would be wise to continue this habit of saying grace every morning and throughout the day. Counting my blessings regularly has been a catalyst for better days and a lighter mood, which raises the vibes I bring to the world. It’s been such a lovely experience that I wanted to share this idea with you. I genuinely hope you have the same benevolent response from the world that I have felt.
Wishing you an abundance of blessings to be thankful for!
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Stacy Crep ~
Photo credit – Emy Minzel