A beautiful blessing of disaster?

Ugh! Do you ever have big arguments in a close relationship and then you just get lost in them? I mean like, losing days, weeks and even months of your life because they are blanketed with a sense of sadness, anger and disappointment. I realize this from personal experience of course, because that is how I learn best.

Recently, I have let disagreements with loved ones overshadow my love of life. The things I once loved to do have fallen by the wayside so I could focus on being fully and completely pissed off at everything. Do you ever have those times? It’s not in my nature to be so angry for so long, yet I was, and I let it take over.

There are things I know for sure and lots that I have left to learn. What I know for sure is that life isn’t meant to be dreaded, tolerated or merely survived. When the whole world around you seems to be crumbling to the ground, it is our opportunity to pick up those pieces and build the life we truly want, in the way that works for us. In this tough emotional time I had to allow things to crumble to see what stayed.

It’s tough to admit that is up to us to take responsibility, brush ourselves off and get back into the sweet flow of life. Nobody else can do that for you or me, as much as we would like the help up onto our feetThe Universe says. “Nope. This is your job.” Happiness is an inside job and should not be dependent on your relationships, career, or goals.

You cannot give the responsibility of your contentment or healing to anyone else but yourself. Taking yoga teacher training has helped me do much needed inner work to find what it is that makes me happy beyond these things we let define us. It’s something that I knew in my head yet found hard to put into practice of my life consistently.

We often ask others for advice and I’ve learned it’s better to go within and ask yourself what to do especially with intimate relationships. Once the power of emotion has settled, our inner wisdom has a lot to offer us if we are willing to trust it, and ourselves. This time ruminating was also a blessing that offered healing. I was able to accept responsibility for my part and make the motions to course correct.

Yet, how is it fair if I don’t offer the same compassion, time and opportunity to process these big emotions to the other person in this story? They are hurt and trying to heal too.

Sharing life with loved ones is challenging when we grow at different speeds, in different directions and in different ways. Sometimes it seems clear and apparent we are going in opposite directions testing our skills of communication, compassion and love. This is marriage, this is family, friendship and life. Right? Right.

During this inner conflict, I have learned I must heal myself, and the emotional wounds before moving forward. I learned this because I kept licking it and preventing myself from healing. Dragging out the time I needed to heal the wound that came in between my relationships. I had to do my own inner work.

Pointing fingers, placing blame or denying any responsibility in relationship problems is childish no matter how old you are… Doing the work to accept that maybe we aren’t innocent or perfect after all is entirely better for spiritual growth than forgiving others for wrongs against you.

We only know our version of the story in a relationship. It’s also the only story we have the ability to edit and change what we will except and allow in our lives. Opening our hearts to the possibility we don’t know the whole narrative is hard yet transformative.

To love someone unconditionally means that you love the hurt, wounded parts of them that lash out and bleed all over you and vice versa. The longer you share your life with them the more opportunities we have to allow this happen. So, do we say? “F it. I give up on you.” Or do we choose to say. “Well, this sucks, how do we heal it?”.

Just like an earthquake it takes a long time to recover from an emotional disaster that hits a relationship. It can take years if you aren’t willing, ready or able to take responsibly to do the work of the clean-up. This is true for our own personal growth and awareness too.

Cleaning up your own inner garden, taking care of your part of a relationship, doing the work to heal, or choosing to build a wall around your heart is up to you. You get to choose who you are going to be in this world. You can let someone else define you with their projections, or you can create and define yourself.

What I have learned from the pieces of the tumbling tower of these relationships is that it is up to me to fix it. Well, me and the other person, it takes two to have a relationship. We can wish, hope, pray all we want but if we aren’t willing to take the steps, do the work or put in emotional commitment of effort then it’s not going to happen.

You can live life in the pile of rubble, or you get up, dust off and start rebuilding to something better. Life isn’t always full of joy, sunshine and success, sometimes it hands you the gift of breaking down what no longer serves your highest good so that you can start from scratch to nurture what does.

I’ve learned to let go of the hurt and anger because it was only harming me and preventing growth that the Universe/God was intending to manifest. I also learned that letting go was easier than hanging on to patterns, behaviors, and thoughts that were not working.

So, when we watch the relationship towers fall and crumble before our eyes, along with all the work and effort that took years to build. I see now that it was God saying “Nope. Not like that. Here you go, you still have all the pieces, now try again.” Graciously giving us a chance to rebuild a life, relationships/career, that is better suited for us.

It is a blessing in disguise if we aren’t too busy dwelling on the rubble to start gathering up what is salvageable and begin again.

So here I go, allowing the artist in me to create a new way of moving forward with love in my heart. I bless this pain for it called me out, asking me to take back the responsibility of co-creating my beautiful life.

I trust this path is guided by the ultimate Creator/God and that they know exactly what they are doing. The Universe was just handing me the tools and jolt of awakening I needed to believe that I had the power to do so.

Wishing you all security, joy and unconditional love you deserve!

Blessings of health,

Emy Minzel

P.s I wavered about posting a blog that complains about life while there is so much going on with the Coronavirus. In the end, I decided to post it because I’ve realized how much time I’ve wasted being mad, fearful and just unhappy, to take so much time out of my beautiful life.

I believe this virus will have the same effect on the world as my life lesson experience has had on me. It has changed me, and my perspective going forward in how I grow myself and my relationships. I believe we will be given time look around us and see what is truly important. Look and see the blessings in front of you and enjoy them now.

I also believe this is the Universe helping us to see what is not working for greater good. It’s giving us a chance to fix broken healthcare and political systems. Giving us time to see the good in each other while work together to rebuild with the pieces in the aftermath of a pandemic.

As the world goes through this experience together, we will finally be able to see we are all connected. We will see working in unity will be the only way to survive and thrive. I believe there will be light, hope and love at the end of this life lesson given to the world.

I believe we are learning to be kind, caring and loving humans in this mass awakening.

Peace be with you.

Love, Emy

Gratitude experiment

Surfing through social media, I saw a meme picture of a pumpkin with words written all over it. The premise behind it was that each day, you write one thing you are thankful for. You can use the pumpkin as a fall centerpiece or just enjoy it as a visual reminder of all the blessings we wrote down throughout the month. Our pumpkin was gifted to us by my aunt, which is something I can already be thankful for!

I thought this was a lovely idea, and since starting this thankfulness practice, it seems to have had a splendid effect on my daily life. Each morning when I open my eyes, I have started my morning by giving thanks for the day before me. There were days I woke up grumpy, but after making it a point to give thanks for my blessings, it turned my mood around remarkably.

What I didn’t expect was that even random interactions with the world around me seemed to benefit. Was my face reflecting the peace of the gratitude I felt? Helping strangers feel welcome to show kindness, smile, or give me a compliment? I started to enjoy my work even more than usual when I made sure to send gratitude for the opportunity to help my clients before each session. Random people at the grocery store would start up conversations or compliment me.

Kindhearted interactions seemed to be a pleasant byproduct of the self-inflicted attitude adjustment I needed. I had been feeling frustrated and down about things beyond my control. It occurred to me that it is my responsibility to manage my attitude and I can change how I was looking at things. I decided I must do something to transform my negative ruminating. I needed a positive push and this Thanksgiving pumpkin idea came around the perfect moment.

I did not know how profoundly my shift in gratitude would move me! That is how it goes sometimes, isn’t it? One random choice to change something seemingly small turns out to be precisely what you needed all along! My new attitude of gratitude has remarkably helped lift my mood and the quality of my days. Instead of looking only for what’s wrong in each situation, I look for the blessings too.

Giving myself permission to be happy for no reason other than I decided too, was liberating. I found when I show thanks for life, family, friends, work, and all the blessings I sometimes take for granted, it is almost contagious. That’s my experience anyway. I know it sounds a little Pollyanna like but there is wisdom in choosing to be grateful!

Last week I bumped into a client while in town who said to me after a short chat. “You know, sometimes you just have to be thankful!” I said. “Yes! Yes!!!” That client did not know of my thankfulness experiment. Still, it was like she was a messenger from above confirming my findings. I love it when synchronicities happen! It’s like a sign from the Universe you are on to something useful here.

It seems it would be wise to continue this habit of saying grace every morning and throughout the day. Counting my blessings regularly has been a catalyst for better days and a lighter mood, which raises the vibes I bring to the world. It’s been such a lovely experience that I wanted to share this idea with you. I genuinely hope you have the same benevolent response from the world that I have felt.

Wishing you an abundance of blessings to be thankful for!

Love,

Emy Minzel

 

Visit me at :

EmyMinzel.com

EmyMinzel.AdventureSister@gmail.com

@EmyMinzel

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Stacy Crep ~

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Photo credit – Emy Minzel

Shifting in sharing my caring ~

I’ve been asked to write a mission statement for the campaign to help me decided on running for State Representative in 2020. This request got me really thinking about the crossroads I am sitting at and what direction would be best for me.

How do I want to spend the next years of my life, and how will it feel when doing so? I can take two very different journeys depending on my decision. This choice is hard because it’s a big one that will change the trajectory of my days, my future.

Who am I really at my core? I know I have a desire to help others, I care deeply for people, all living beings and the planet. I ask myself over and over. “What is the best way for me to put these passions to good use? I have had the extraordinary opportunity to try different approaches on for size and see how I felt doing so.

The political path is exciting, empowering, educational, and brought me closer to the members of my community. There are also downsides of this choice. Politics are not conducive to balance in lots of areas of my life. There is a sacrifice of family time, personal desires, career, and on top of the lack of help I would need. Not to mention the contentious arena that supports a Bloods Vs. Crips kind of rivalry.

Listen, I will fight if I have too. But deep down, I am a lover, not a fighter. Lately, I feel the calling of peace. Many people were surprised by my choice to jump into the political arena in the first place. I would often think of it as an avenue to express an alter ego side of me. I was often conflicted in my mind and heart following the political trail. Not in policies but in my personal life.

At times I would even compare myself to Bruce Banner and the Incredible Hulk. To continue the governmental track would mean to endure more of this same frustration. Is pursuing this political path worth my balance, wellbeing and the future of my life. Is there another way to make a difference that feels better?

Over and over, I asked myself what if’s, how and why? Can I make a difference in the world around me in a different way that feels good to me, my family, and those I love? I work from home for a reason, and I love it here. I live a blessed life I am beyond thankful for it. These questions got me looking within, getting back to my roots, surrounding myself with loved ones that know my heart.

I was asking myself the hard questions of who I want to be as I grow into this next pivotal transformation in life. I am thankful for the time I have had to contemplate the pros and cons of each choice and how it will affect me and others I care most about. I am thankful for the opportunity to see myself in the future and how I think it will look.

When I started this political journey, I had called on the inspiration of my grandmother, EmaDee, who was a Registered Nurse for over 40 years in a very small-town hospital. She was a good, kind, and caring person who had a positive impact on her community just by showing up and being herself. My grandmother is one of my heroes because of these traits. I’ve always wanted to be like her in this way.

This desire has never wavered or changed. It was the way I was going about it that altered. I have been allowed time to process this shift, how it feels to me, how it affected my family, and how it changed me has been a blessing.

I know I can still be politically active in a different and muted approach. I do not have to be the candidate; I can be supportive of the changes I wish to see differently. I am excited to see the next candidate get the opportunity to share their passion for our community in such a big way! I can support others who run by being a cog in the wheel of revolution.

My voice does matter and how I used it counts. I have come to see that this political path is a little too extra for me at this time in my life. There must be a balance in the way I care for myself and others. Right now, I feel that I must focus on helping me before I tackle the problems of a whole community. I am choosing to put the oxygen mask on myself first.

Who I am in my soul is full of spirit, love, compassion, and joy. To choose a path that supports and nurtures this part of me means I am kind and truthful with myself. I have a massage therapy practice that fills me with purpose and brings many wonderful people into my life. The real me behind the political persona is a hippie at heart. I am content with being precisely this — just me. I don’t need a microphone to be myself.

Understandably, there may be some disappointment by some, but I must do what is best from me at this time. I have chosen to take the alternate path and continue my career in caring. I’ll begin with Yoga teacher training and see where I go from there. I am choosing to foster the goodness in myself by finding the balance I seek.

I hope to share this kindness with the people around me in a similar way. Teaching is also a powerful approach to help foster a positive, feel-good effect on myself, my family, and the community I love! By sharing my caring in a different form, I can open more hearts, bring inner peace and Zen, with an agenda to create a community of acceptance and connection.

This teaching opportunity can also be a powerful technique in being the change I wish to see in the world. I wish to see more love, more kindness, and more connection to one another. This decision is how I am choosing to be the change. Thank you to everyone who has supported me on this journey through life together. I cherish you.

Nameste!

With love,

Emy Minzel

 

Visit me at :

EmyMinzel.com

EmyMinzel.AdventureSister@gmail.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

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Stacy Crep ~

https://stacycrep.com

 

Photo credit – Emy Minzel, Wild rose bush with bee in my back yard

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who do you think you are?!

Do you ever dream big and aim for the stars doing something you really want too? Then when you start to take the steps. It seems that once in a while, your self-doubt whispers in the back of your mind. “Who do you think you are?! What makes you think you can do this?”

It’s like there’s a grumpy angel sitting on my shoulder, asking me. “Do you remember where you come from? Let me remind you of all these limiting the beliefs you picked up along the way. Girl, it’s me. Your debilitating doubt, reminding you to watch yourself! Who gave you permission to succeed anyway?! Certainly not me.”

This sounds so silly to write it out and then read. Yet, I genuinely believe I am not the only person to fight these limiting thoughts. It has become a habit for me to write about life lessons and roadblocks to process them. As far as coping mechanisms go, writing is my healthiest. Even then, sometimes, I feel like who cares? Why do I feel this pull and desire to share such personal information?

I believe it’s not that I need someone to care per se. What I need is to feel like I am helping someone else. Isn’t that peculiar? I am a certified massage therapist, I volunteer in my community, and I have a passion for protecting the environment. Yet, with all the action I take to “help” others, I still feel that there is more to do. Then I get frustrated when I don’t see it happening fast enough.

I have this pull to write what I live; in case someone needs to hear they are not alone. Selfishly it feels like I need to write to help myself too. I just listened to a song that said. “Take your time. Life’s lessons are not learned in a day.” How powerful this short phrase is at the exact moment when I seem to be in a hurry to know it all and do it all; like, RIGHT NOW!

Even though I know in my heart that life is a beautiful journey meant to be savored and enjoyed one day at a time. Apparently, I have the patience of Hulu on pause, because when I feel my effort isn’t progressing somewhere fast enough, I get down on myself and just quit moving. That jerk voice in the back of mind kicks in its two cents and asks. “So, this is it then?! Nice try. Remember who you are, sit down and shut up.” Unfortunately, lately, I have been complying.

What an a$$Hole I am to myself sometimes hey?! I mean really, I don’t talk to my friends like this. Why do I speak to myself this way? Where does this icky habit of doubt come from? I honestly think it comes from my lack of patience and just maybe… a buried fear of success. This also seems silly when I write it. Who fears success?!

Most people I know, try every day to succeed on their personal paths. I guarantee they have doubts as well, but do they handle them better than I do? There are days I feel like throwing in the towel on all of it. That dark angel on my shoulder tells me maybe I should just go get a regular job, so I don’t have to worry about doing the books, finding clients, and building my business.

Why do I volunteer my time instead of crawling into bed with a good book and my dog? Why do I pursue politics that get me all riled up, instead of working more on balancing my Zen?! Why do I stifle my creativity because I fear judgment from those who do not create themselves? Why, do I want to have it ALL?! Is what I am working towards even attainable?

Also, why do I have so many questions about life? I hope this is coming across in a friendly and relatable way. There must be others out there who struggle with doubt when pursuing dreams and goals. Are there other people who can relate to my frustration with the pace of life when you feel like you’ve been working so hard but just to feel as if your spinning wheels?

Listen, I believe if every one of us put our problems in a pile, most of us would choose to keep our own instead of trade. This frustration I feel is not a problem, it is an obstacle I know I can navigate. Yet, it feels like I need to a little help to push through right about now. I think we are all in this world together, so I’d like to ask for your help.

What do you do or tell yourself to keep your head up and hopes high? What would you tell your best friend asking this same advice on this topic? I am a fan of sharing sisterhood support, and I’d love to hear from you today!

P.s. I’d love to hear who you think you are! And what obstacle are you working to overcome right now!

Sending the intention of encouragement and self-love to you!

Wishing you the luck you need today,

Love, Emy Minzel 

 Visit me at :

EmyMinzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

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Contact me at: EmyMinzel.AdventureSister@gmail.com

 

Stacy Crep ~

https://stacycrep.com

Photo Credit – Emy Minzel – Slim Lake, Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness – Ely, Minnesota

 

 

Feeling 43

 

My forty-third birthday is almost here, and the year behind me was a wild ride with many unexpected twists and turns! I am grateful for them all, even the bummer ones. I grew emotionally stronger and learned valuable life lessons while growing courage I did not think was possible. I hope to express an authentic reflection of personal growth that can happen all in just one crazy year.

In my 42nd year, I took a giant leap of faith and tested my luck by running for State Representative in Minnesota. Whoa! This was an unexpected turn of events for me. I’m talking altogether out of the left-field! I had no idea what I was getting into. I lost the election, but the skills I gained personally made it all worthwhile.

Yet, as I am about to turn the page on another chapter in my personal story. I am thankful I conjured up the courage and took that chance to speak from my heart. Pursuing politics still pulls at my protective and compassionate environmental loving spirit. I believe we need good people to stand up and fight for those who does not have a voice.

My campaign motto was, “Protect what you love.” I still believe this, and I just can’t seem to walk away. It is coming time to make the decision if I am going to run yet again. You would think it would be an easy decision, but it is not. It was hard in ways I did not expect. Yet, the pull of this protective passion is something I cannot ignore.

I am beginning to see, it’s who I am and what I came to this world to do. I love to learn, and I love adventure. This is how I chose to see my path. This year’s motto will be; “My work feels like fun all the time!” Because that’s how it feels when you do what you love! Stacy says this is because I am following my Dharma. It sure feels like I am being ‘called’ so maybe she is right.

Getting elected to the Board of the Friends of Sherburne National Wildlife Refuge last January has given me opportunity to keep putting my time and energy towards my environmental and community supporting passions. It’s been a wonderful experience that also allows me to share the skills and grow connections I’ve learned from campaigning. So cool how that worked out!

This past year my friend and I came very close to finishing our book series. We really almost did it! Then just feet from the finish line, when it came time to become business partners, it was clear we were not able to do so. Turns out we would rather be friends, than colleagues! We both walked away from years of collaborative creative work as Adventure Sisters, to go our separate ways.

It was an unexpected turn of events but, I believe this also has happened for our highest good. It now leaves me the ability to be creatively authentic and more faithful to myself. I will be able to write about what I wish instead of within the confinement of a partner’s expectations. I really do believe it is for the best. We are still friends, and this is what matters the most.

I am thankful for the journeys we took together and the encouragement we shared with one another during this process. It’s a blessing to have the ability to make tough decisions and put friendship first when it came down to it. It’s best to find out before you get in too deep and that’s what happened.

We both have a different path, and that is okay! I already have started another creative project that excites me and keeps me passionately pursuing my publishing dreams. If it is meant to be, it will be! I am thankful for my friend because she believed in me and encouraged me to write years all those years ago.

Without our friendship and this joint journey, I may have been too insecure to pursue my writing dream. We would have missed out on all the fun we had doing so! It was this same friend who also encouraged to push through my fear to pursue a political path. Now, look! I can’t stop writing or the pull of political passion if I wanted too! They are in my soul and what I love.

I am thankful for all these round-about experience even if they did not play out like I thought they would. This seemed to be the theme for year 42. This year has taught me to embrace my independence, follow my dreams, and the tug of my soul. These lessons in independence gave me the confidence and courage to do the work when it comes to fulfilling my needs.

I even took a solo trip to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness this summer! #SavetheBoundaryWaters! Never in a million years did I think I could or would, and I did! I am so proud of me. I don’t know how I became so brave. I think it just maybe one of the most valued traits I’ve come to possess! They say when women get older, we get bolder. This part of aging is darn fabulous if you ask me.

I love growing older! I’ve embraced the silver in my hair and the wisdom that comes from my mistakes. Aging is a blessing. I am grateful for the time I’ve been given to learn, grow, and bloom into who I always knew I was. I am so much more than what you see. I realize that I don’t need to prove it to you. I need to show it to me!

If being in my forties means I get to release my fears, trusting the twist of my path, enjoying every minute of being alive and loving myself for who I am. Then I am good with that. This next year around the sun I am going to welcome new experiences, new lessons, be more open to making new connections. Expanding my circle of friends and making contacts that will help me make a ripple of hope in the web of life!

Self-doubt has no place in year 43 for me. “F’ it! Let’s try it and see what happens!” Sounds more my style anyway. This past year has allowed me to see this is my chance to grab the opportunities life has placed before me. I can choose to sit them out or jump in the deep end. We all know I’m the kind of gal who likes adventure so I guess we will see what the Creator has in store for me! I am excited just thinking about the possibilities.

One more thing I learned last year was the importance of balance. Love, Family, Self & Mind, Body, Spirit. These are all important and require my time and attention before they go rogue. I know which ones need attention because I feel it. This year also gave me a lot of time to relax, reflect and really get in touch with my own needs.

It’s no secret there is lots of time that matters laying in between the ‘big stuff’ that needs tending to. Life can be demanding and crazy, but great when we let it! I have realized how vital it is to listen to my inner knowing and the tug of my soul. It’s not always easy, but it’s still worth it! I am worth it. I am beyond thankful for this blessing of time that allowed me this solace.

I want to thank you for understanding when I don’t blog as often as I have been. I know I’ve been slowing down on blogging significantly, but it’s because I’ve been busy chasing my dreams, living a life I love, enjoying my husband, family, and friends while working at smashing my goals.

Along with working, building my business, volunteering, being a wife, mother and taking care of my own needs! This all takes time and effort. So, when I do write, I trust it is because I am being called to do so. I hope that when I post, you find it educational, entertaining, and worth your time.

My goal is to share these lessons with you as I learn them, in hopes you can be entertained and educated from my crazy life! I promise not to portray myself as perfect. I am far from it. My dreams are to share the real me, the soul inside that is following the tugs of my heart. This is what it means to me to feel 43.

Thank you for reading my blog for sharing my life lessons and adventures with me! I appreciate your support and encouragement beyond measure!

Sending joy and blessings to you,

Love, Emy Minzel

 

Visit me at :

EmyMinzel.com

EmyMinzel.AdventureSister@gmail.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

 

Stacy Crep ~

https://stacycrep.com