Tag: love

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

Mirror Mirror on the wall…

April 26, 2019 emyminzel

Who’s the most stubborn of them all?

Have you heard of the psychological concept called mirroring? It is something people do subconsciously when communicating with each other. Sometimes it helps people seem charming, sociable and friendly. Other times, when we see something in others that we do ourselves but aren’t aware of, it can rub us the wrong way. It will change the way you perceive someone on a subliminal level, both in a good and bad way.

Sometimes we will mimic body languages like smiling, crossing our legs or arms while having a conversation. This involuntary movement helps us connect on a personal level beyond our words. I have heard, that when you notice or perceive an undesirable characteristic in others, it is because you possess the same trait yourself. If you do not like this quality about yourself, you are not going to like it in another person.

Most of the time we do not even know we are mirroring others, or see ourselves in another, although it is a very human attribute. Stacy and I recently had the experience of mirroring each other with our strong wills. I know who she is. I love it that she is strong-willed, determined, driven, and will tell me how she feels even if it is hard. I find it a giant blessing to have a good friend who wears her crown as proudly as I like too! I love these qualities, and we mirror each other in this way.

We have a lot of things in common and robust will power is just one of them. But as you may have guessed, if we turn our willfulness and face each other instead of the world… Well… “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who’s the most stubborn of them all?” Our Boss Queen Crowns get lock horned into a stronghold, and there we are. Crowns crossed and face to face; mirroring our sister.

Well, what do you do then? Since Stacy is a dear friend of mine, I decided its best to take some time and stepped back to contemplate how I was going to handle this delicate matter. I do not want to hurt her but… “I’m right, and she’s wrong.” I know this isn’t true and can guarantee Stacy was thinking the same thing about me! Truth is somewhere in the middle; now it was up to us to find common ground.

Had we not realized we were indeed mirroring each other’s attributes or that we put our friendship before our stubbornness, we would probably still be crown locked. I could easily see how this type of mirroring could be damaging to a relationship or even an everyday encounter if not recognized. I think this type of thing happens a great deal in the real world, and how we chose to handle the situation is vital to the outcome.

I think it’s easy to write off a stranger, co-worker or acquaintance for the rest of your life if you feel strongly that you are in the right. Family and close friends are a different story though, you tend to let love override righteousness in favor of peace in most mirroring situations. This happens in mother/daughter or father/son relationships a lot. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree is another way we say it to compare similarities.

Resemblances do not stop us from disagreeing in those moments of discord. What I love about my soul sister and myself is now the same thing that is causing chaos. Mirroring can be very helpful if you are willing to see yourself as others see you. You get the chance to see how it feels to have your behavior inflicted upon yourself and see how you like it.

It can be uncomfortable because growth is often painful. I mean. How, dare she use MY attributes against me?! (Insert sarcasm here.) Seeing myself in my best friends’ actions was awkward. Yet because it was my friend, my response softened, and I did my best to reign in the Boss Queen inside, that likes to call the shots.

I bring up this mystical communication we call mirroring because it’s not talked about much, yet it is used in everyday interactions between all humans. Our exchanges with others very much depends on what kind of energy you are bringing to the situation before you. At work, school, relationships, social media, driving, or at the dinner table. What you put out is what we get back. Attitudes are contagious, so hopefully, we are all doing our best to share sunshine and not BS.

When we see something in another we do not like, maybe it is a sign to go within and fix it in ourselves. Even if we don’t know how to correct our behavior, even noticing our tendencies, is a great way to get to know yourself. I will use this knowledge to temper how I may react in the next similar situation. I think that is how we mature and become the people we want to be. I love using my experiences to grow. I chose to make small changes in myself and do better next time.

If ever I find myself crown locked with another Boss Queen, whether she’s my friend or not. I will stop and see myself in her. I will do my best to practice empathy and really listen to her message. Sometimes, friends and family fight. It is life. But I’ve found it is my willingness to be respectful and negotiate that really allows me to move through to a resolution, that is kind and acceptable for everyone.

This week the mirror showed me a reflection of the Boss Queen inside, getting crown-locked with my soul sister. “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who’s the most stubborn of us all?”

I decided I valued my friendship more than my righteousness. Now I take this lesson and self-awareness into the future with me. I have learned to appreciate the human who mirrors you. It’s a message to help you see yourself. They may be a reflection of you.

Love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

www.AdventurewithEmyandStacy.com

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

*Photo credit – Pure Heart Memoir

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

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My best friend Gus ~

March 19, 2019March 21, 2019 emyminzel

Just days ago my dog Gus, my best friend passed away. He was a lovable looking bulldog with a brown spot on his eye and hilarious personality. The moment I saw his face on the Humane Society’s website, nearly eleven years ago, I just knew he was supposed to be in my life. He had been surrendered because his former owners did not have time for him, and he ended up spending too much time in the kennel. When I saw his picture, I immediately sent an email to my husband, who wasn’t even my husband at the time.

I said. “If you help me get this dog it will count as my Birthday, Valentine’s day, Anniversary, and all the other presents for this year! Pretty please?!” I just knew he was supposed to be my dog!

My plea to bust Gus out of the shelter worked! It was the best present my husband has gotten me to this day. I still remember his big butt wiggle when I met him. It’s the same one he reserved only for me until this day. Gus was a character with lots of quirks. He liked me the best and would often show clear disappointment; with a heavy sigh and a huff, when my husband walked through the door without me.

We also called him the ‘fun police’ because, if our other dogs got a little too excited, Gus didn’t like that and would try to subdue them. This was not his best quality, but it was truly him. He was also very cantankerous and did not like to listen all the time. He ran away every chance he could when he was a younger lad. We joked that Gus even had ‘street cred’ considering my husband had to pick him up from the back of a police cruiser after a neighborhood jaunt/jailbreak (depending on who you ask.) many years ago.

When our Labrador Jack was alive, we would try to play catch with them both. But Gus liked to turn it into a football game instead. With full-on headbutting tackles on his brother Jack, who was just trying to catch the ball like a retriever is supposed to do. So, we didn’t let Gus play catch too much and that was fine with him, he liked to chew tennis balls like they were bubble gum anyway.

The word Bubble Gum always made his ears square up and his head tilt to the side. It was my favorite way to take a good picture of him. Gus was a ham that loved the ladies and babies. We would call him LL Cool G. Because ladies love the cool G, much like LL Cool J but in handsome dog form. He just had an “I don’t give a crap” bad boy attitude that had me wrapped around his paw from day one. He was a legend in his own mind and mine too.

We had a bond that I am not able to explain. I have had other dogs that I’ve loved as well but Gus and I were just different somehow. I feel safe saying this because I’ve even joked with my husband “I’m pretty sure Gus and I are in love”. We just ‘got’ each other. There was a connection that was like no other. I feel like we bonded on a soul level.

When he got into trouble, I always had his back, even if I knew he was not innocent. When he wanted his way, I gave it to him because I could, and he was my dog to spoil if I wanted. This was not always good, and my family didn’t always agree with me, but it didn’t stop me. Gus was hard to love sometimes but this only made me love him even more.

He was my best friend and I believe he was sent to me as a gift from the heavens. It certain felt like a blessing to both of us when we came together. There are so many things I will miss about him. From the way he could look at me and I would know exactly what he was asking of me. To the way I could raise my eyebrow at him, and he would know just what I wanted him to do… yet he would take his sweet slow time doing it!

Did you ever have a pet who would look at you with judgment?! Gus would do this too. After eleven years of friendship, we had developed a language all our own. He was so human-like with his expressions, I swear some days he was sending me telepathic communications. Or maybe this type of communication happens after a decade of dedication to each other? I am not sure. But I am certain we were in love.

I know some of you are thinking how can you be in love with a dog? There is nothing weird about it at all. To me being ‘in love’ is just love in action and feeling in your heart. Like when you fall in love with an infant, you just fall head over heels ‘in love’ to your core. It just happened like that with me and Gus. My love never stopped or even once wavered. I made him a priority in my life.

If you know me, you know that I would often say “This is Gus, he’s my best friend.” And I always meant it. During my best days and worst days, Gus was there for me even when even my people friends or family could not be. Gus was always great company.

But, isn’t that what a good dog does? Befriending their humans and burrowing themselves deeply into your heart, so that they will be with you even after they leave? I have lost many dogs in my life and each one of them will always have a spot in my heart until it is no longer beating. My heart is swelling with so much gratitude for the opportunity I had to be his human. Yet the swelling of gratitude is so much, that I literally feel my heart breaking open as the pain of sadness settles in for all I will miss.

I am blessed to have had his love and his company. Being sad and immensely grateful to experience Gus in my life is a bizarre feeling, but it makes so much sense. Gus was getting old, and to be honest, I worried about when and how he would pass for a while now. Death is part of the cycle of life that none of us get to escape.

I just have to say. The blessing of time spent with my best friend Gus is worth the pain of heartbreak. I know it won’t end any time soon, with all the ugly crying, swollen eyes, puffy face, raw running nose, and literal heartache yet to come. I gladly suffer this pain of loss for the blessings he brought to me during our life together. This I know to be true.

I also know that my best friend Gus provided a great deal of joy to myself and others who knew him. Yet “I “ got to be the lucky one to be his momma. I’m going to miss him so hard. I will never get over him because he is part of me. I was blessed to be the one! I am grateful for that. You never know when the Universe sends you gifts like this, but you sure know when they are taken away.

Sending love and a reminder to count your blessings. Time goes by so fast and like molasses; all at the same time.

Hold your loved one’s close today and your fur babies too.

*Photo credit – Franny Buturian-Larson took this picture of Gus during a campaign shoot because, he is adorable.

Wishing you love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

5 reasons to foster furry friends!

February 25, 2019 emyminzel

Have you heard of animal rescues?

There is a local animal rescue in my town called Ruff Start Rescue. It’s run by a young woman with a heart as big and radiant as the sun. Since starting the rescue in 2010, they have grown to over 600 volunteers and have saved over 5,500 animals. I do my best to volunteer when I can, although it is not nearly as often as I wish I could. So, I donate dollars and I foster animals in need, as often as possible.

I love our local rescue because they are not like other shelters or rescues. Ruff Start Rescue sets dogs and cats up for success in a home-based atmosphere by asking volunteers to foster them in their homes as part of their family. This allows the animals to learn manners, be potty trained and get vetting needed; while giving the animal the opportunity to be loved by the family that hosts them.

I have learned so much from the dogs I have helped find forever homes for. Some of them broke my heart. Yes, I cried and wished them well on their journey into their new lives. It was all worth it though; all the tears, all the messes, vet visits, laughs, cuddles, slobbers and love. All worth it!

We have had such great, heart opening experiences, that I just had to share the top five reasons you should foster too! The number one question/statement I get from friends when they find out I foster is: “I don’t think I could foster because I would fall in love and it would be hard to let them go. How do you do it?” Here is what I tell them.

1. “You” get to choose the right family – Ruff Start Rescue lets you, the foster, pick the best family for your foster animal. They trust, that since you have been loving and caring for the animal, that you will know what kind of atmosphere it will thrive best in. If you don’t think the dog will do well with little kids, then the dog does not go to a family with little kids. The point of the rescue is to give the animal its best chance for success and not to put it in a situation destined for failure. You get to go through the adoption applications and interview the families. It it’s much safer for the animal then just allowing anyone to pick and purchase them from a website.

2. You will fall in love – The truth is, as a foster family, we do fall head over heals in love. That’s the point! To show love, compassion and consistency to the dog/cat that may have never been loved before. This is a soulful connection that doesn’t just make emotional growth and stability possible for the animal, it helps you too! To love another living being enough to let them go to a forever family where they belong, is selfless. Helping them find their forever family is much like raising your kids to be prepared for the world. It’s the right thing to do and so rewarding to see them happy and healthy; living their best life.

3. Be fully prepared for the possibility of a foster failure – Foster Failure happens when you foster and end up falling in love with an animal that just fits your family. Then you decide to adopt the animal yourself. I have done this twice. The most recent foster failure was our dog Hank, who was found as a stray. He was held in impound and his time was up. I saw his face and plea for help and I just knew we had to help him. He was almost like a wild animal when we got him home, he needed lots of training and love.

4. It’s hard but worth it – We even had to do a couple weeks of shutdown acclimation before Hank got to meet my resident dog Gus. Hank got to sleep, eat and just decompress in my daughter’s bedroom until he got comfortable and relaxed with his new living situation. It took him a couple weeks, but I believe allowing him this time to feel safe, made all the difference when we introduced him to our family dog. It was hard keeping everyone separated at first, but we were dedicated to Hank’s success. Hank has paid us back for not giving up on him with love and loyalty and he is a wonderful addition to our family!

Hank after adoption

5. Letting go – I like to think dogs are like people, although I love them all, some are easier to get along with then others! So, this means some are easier to let go then others! There was a little dog named Rosie, we fostered several years ago, who had contracted Parvo. Parvo is a disease that kills puppies. This little stinker beat Parvo but the battle was scary and heartbreaking.

There were sleepless nights and a whole week where all we did was just cuddle her, while praying she would live. We had to hydrate her by injecting fluids subcutaneously, which it hurt her to do so. Listening to her cry, while we tried our best to keep her alive, was just as hard as letting her go to another foster family.

We nursed Rosie through Parvo and our resident dogs helped to potty train her and teach her manners, while we loved her very much. She was the coolest little dog I have ever known. But, one day out of the blue, we had to let her go to another foster family on very short notice. One of my dogs, Penny, started to get aggressive towards my other big dogs while playing catch. We felt that it was just not safe anymore for little Rosie, in a house of big dogs that just became unpredictable.

So we called the rescue. They came and got Rosie immediately, because they are dedicated to keeping their foster dogs safe and healthy. It was hard for me to love Rosie for so long, only to have her gone in a flash because of my own pack. It was the best thing to do for Rosie, but it was hard on all of us.

Rosie

It is true that not every story ends on a happy note, but most of them do! Rosie found an amazing family soon after leaving our home. We have had foster dogs who’ve had Cancer, Parvo, broken limbs, worms, and broken spirits but have gone on to live great lives. The rescue we work with understands that life and animals can be unpredictable and have helped me through many situations throughout the years. I think of the starfish story when I think of fostering animals. You may not be able to help all that need rescuing, but you can help one at a time, and that is better than none.

If you have the time, energy and enough love to share; I recommend you try fostering too. It is such a wonderful experience that I keep going back when our family has the time to dedicate to a rescue animal. I keep going back to Ruff Start Rescue because they have always been there to help me when I need them. They are local hero’s in my mind and this is a cause and crew I love to support. Maybe you would consider opening your home and heart to a furry friend in need.

Please donate if you can to a wonderful and deserving organization! http://www.ruffstartrescue.com

Wishing you an abundance of blessings and love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

Will you hold my hand?

January 12, 2019January 12, 2019 emyminzel

Earlier this week, I had a minor surgery to remove a cyst in my neck. The procedure was performed in an operating room. As they wheeled me in, I saw a room full of stainless-steel equipment and nurses bundled up in their surgical garb and masks and remembered I was going to be fully awake for this procedure. The area numbed with Novocain before the doctor was to remove the growth with a scalpel.

Being awake, I made small talk with the nurses, who were very kind and chatted with me too. There was one nurse whose job it was to sit and keep me company, while monitoring my vital signs. I did not think I was nervous since I knew what was going to happen and how it was going to happen. Yet the moment they helped me on to the operating table I seem to have gotten cold feet. I wanted to run away!

When she strapped on the blood pressure cuff, my cover of small talk and cracking jokes was blown! My heartrate and blood pressure were through the roof! Even though I tried to play it cool, statistics showed my body was clearly in fight or flight mode. The nurse, in charge of my vitals, was a welcome distraction from the reality of a large incision being made to my body while awake.

When the doctor walked in, I chatted with her too. She’s become my favorite doctor and I feel very comfortable with her. In my head, I was trying to calm myself, by inducing my own meditative state of breathing deep and such. No luck, my body knew what was going to happen and even though my mind was very logical and factual, my blood pressure was not coming down.

It’s like my body knew trauma was coming and it was very scared. At that moment I knew I needed comfort. I looked at the nurse, who was right next to me the whole time, and asked her. “Will you please hold my hand?”

She obliged kindly and continued to hold my hand for the whole procedure. Doing her best to ask me questions and give me distractions from the doctor and scalpel working diligently behind me. Nurse W told me she was a seasoned nurse, working part-time until retirement. I could tell. She had calmness and caring demeanor only years of practice can produce. It made me feel like I could ask her to help me in the only way she could, by holding my hand.

Isn’t it funny how you can find comfort in a perfect stranger’s hand in a time of trauma, anxiety or extreme stress? Okay, maybe funny isn’t the word. It is quite a miracle and blessing that humans can form a connection so quickly in times of need. What is even more beautiful is the nurse who chose to make this her life path; to help strangers with kindness and compassion in very stressful moments.

Nurses, Doctors, Firemen, Police Officers, Caregivers, are often there for strangers on our most horrible or trying days. The men and women who stand with folks in their community to help them through it all, are very much a blessing to humanity. Not everyone is wired to be able to have a heart, so giving and open, to hold a stranger’s hand even on a regular day with no stress.

Do some people hold more compassion inside then others? I think so. But what I find is that even those of us who aren’t comfortable with unfamiliar people will still offer comfort in times of duress, even if they too are stressed. Is this a characteristic built into our DNA, to care for others when it is most needed? Is it an innate knowing that we are all connected by the spark of God, that brings us all to life? I do not know. But I’d like to think so.

What I do know is that I am very thankful for the nurse who held my hand that day. She kindly offered me comfort and did her best to divert my attention from the surgery happening while we talked. I cannot help but use this scenario as an analogy of life.

It is on our hardest, most challenging days, that we need others help us get through.

Unfortunately, these days aren’t always as obvious as being strapped to an operating table. Sometimes there are strangers walking past us in the grocery store or working in the cubicle right next to you; that are having one of the worst days of their lives. Inner trauma is just as painful as physical trauma, just in a different way.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all live heart-centered lives so that others would feel safe in asking; “Will you please hold my hand?” when they need it most?

Even if it is just for a short time, your compassion does make a difference. Kindness is a characteristic that we must practice to be good at. Seeing folks in our community as extended family, instead of strangers, is where we can start. Do unto others and such. Remember, even a kind stranger serving as a short distraction from pain (in any form) can make a huge difference in the world.

Thank you for reading my blog today.

May you find comfort and love all around you. May you have the chance to act as comfort and love to another.

Wishing you an abundance of blessings,

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister