This past weekend I was lucky to spend time with my husband not doing anything but enjoying his company. Somedays it’s nice not to have a full schedule of to do’s, as he’s my favorite person to do nothing with! This weekend gave us time to catch up with each other as we sat under the porch while it rained and talked. We shared a blanket, deep thoughts, and held hands. It was a moment that brought us both contentment. We just enjoyed being together while watching a storm pass.
Holding on to each other while letting the storm blow over made me contemplative. Isn’t this a perfect metaphor for marriage? Having your best friend by your side while the weather or life rages around us is a blessing. I see how lucky I am to have him helping me through the toughest times. Truthfully, there are times when I forget just how fortunate I am. The Universe brings me beautiful relationships, a career I enjoy, and a life with freedom to be me.
I have found it’s during the stormy days that tend to make the most meaningful conversations and form deeper connections. This weekend was no different. During our peaceful rainy day together, my husband, Jason and I found ourselves in philosophical discussions. We discussed a recent rocky spell in our life, and how going through it so separately made us realize what we could lose. We saw how eventually it helped us grow closer and more thankful for each other.
I find it not so funny that we seemed to have to get so close to losing each other before we realized just how much we love and need another. Has any such situation happened to you? When something terrible happens, it decidedly changes your perspective on life from that moment forward. It could be a tragic event that changes you almost immediately, or in our case, it took us years to go through this lesson together.
Isn’t this how we get ‘experience’ and how people grow wisdom? It’s also how we grow empathy, fear, and doubts. It is why people have a crisis of faith, life crisis, or breakdowns that alter who we once were. My best friend just went through something just like this. Life changing moments and lessons that agitate you from the inside and show us what spills out. Do we trust our guidance after our foundation has been shaken? What do we think when we don’t know what to think anymore?
Sometimes life is hard, adulting isn’t as fun as it looks on TV and our lives aren’t as perfect as we’d like them to be. It was nice to take a beat and sit on the front porch holding hands with the man I love. I realized just how thankful and blessed I am to have such a beautiful family life. It reminded me to stop my complaining and nitpicking about my husband or anyone else! I have learned to be grateful for the man he is and the loved ones that put up with me!
After all, I am no saint, I can be challenging and demanding, and he loves me anyway. Although I am thankful, sometimes, I see myself complaining about my blessings when they feel heavy. Adventure Sister Stacy wears a bracelet that helps remind her to count her blessing instead of her complaints. Recently she gifted me two of these bracelets. She gave me two because she said. “They break easily, or I complain a lot.” Now I understand what she means.
It’s easy to get in the habit of voicing our complaint because when we are vocal of our blessings, we don’t want to seem like we are bragging. We don’t want others to think we are boastful, so we diminish our blessings of a great life by complaining about the small stuff. This ‘rough patch’ ended up shining a spotlight on the value of our perfectly imperfect marriage.
As my husband and I poured our souls into our conversation and the moments of peace, we both realized the blessing of our love and the life we share. I am better with him, and he is better with me because we are a team. There is nobody else I trust as much to have my back, or I want on my team more than my husband. He helps me grow, loves me as I am, and makes me crazy in all the best ways that make life enjoyable. That’s family for you.
I just wanted to drop you a note to remind you and myself, that it is okay to speak of the good stuff as passionately as we voice our displeasure. I don’t know about you, but I need to hear the good that is happening in the world today. Please tell me about your baby’s first step, or how your youngest son graduated high school if you won a ton at Bingo or how grateful you are to have a good day!
Then, let me tell you what a great guy my husband is, and just how lucky I feel to be me. I am so thankful for my husband, my family, and my friends, that I cannot even contain my feels. Love swells in my heart and slips out my eyes for the blessing of my imperfectly perfect life. I am also thankful for my blessings in disguise; I am grateful for the blessings that stayed even when I forgot to be thankful.
It’s remarkable what I learn sitting on the porch in the rain holding hands with my husband: good talk, honey, good talk.
Sending love, blessings, and joy,
Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister
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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister