Tag: #soulsisters

Mirror Mirror on the wall…

emyminzel

Who’s the most stubborn of them all?

Have you heard of the psychological concept called mirroring? It is something people do subconsciously when communicating with each other. Sometimes it helps people seem charming, sociable and friendly. Other times, when we see something in others that we do ourselves but aren’t aware of, it can rub us the wrong way. It will change the way you perceive someone on a subliminal level, both in a good and bad way.

Sometimes we will mimic body languages like smiling, crossing our legs or arms while having a conversation. This involuntary movement helps us connect on a personal level beyond our words. I have heard, that when you notice or perceive an undesirable characteristic in others, it is because you possess the same trait yourself. If you do not like this quality about yourself, you are not going to like it in another person.

Most of the time we do not even know we are mirroring others, or see ourselves in another, although it is a very human attribute. Stacy and I recently had the experience of mirroring each other with our strong wills. I know who she is. I love it that she is strong-willed, determined, driven, and will tell me how she feels even if it is hard. I find it a giant blessing to have a good friend who wears her crown as proudly as I like too! I love these qualities, and we mirror each other in this way.

We have a lot of things in common and robust will power is just one of them. But as you may have guessed, if we turn our willfulness and face each other instead of the world… Well… “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who’s the most stubborn of them all?” Our Boss Queen Crowns get lock horned into a stronghold, and there we are. Crowns crossed and face to face; mirroring our sister.

Well, what do you do then? Since Stacy is a dear friend of mine, I decided its best to take some time and stepped back to contemplate how I was going to handle this delicate matter. I do not want to hurt her but… “I’m right, and she’s wrong.” I know this isn’t true and can guarantee Stacy was thinking the same thing about me! Truth is somewhere in the middle; now it was up to us to find common ground.

Had we not realized we were indeed mirroring each other’s attributes or that we put our friendship before our stubbornness, we would probably still be crown locked. I could easily see how this type of mirroring could be damaging to a relationship or even an everyday encounter if not recognized. I think this type of thing happens a great deal in the real world, and how we chose to handle the situation is vital to the outcome.

I think it’s easy to write off a stranger, co-worker or acquaintance for the rest of your life if you feel strongly that you are in the right. Family and close friends are a different story though, you tend to let love override righteousness in favor of peace in most mirroring situations. This happens in mother/daughter or father/son relationships a lot. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree is another way we say it to compare similarities.

Resemblances do not stop us from disagreeing in those moments of discord. What I love about my soul sister and myself is now the same thing that is causing chaos. Mirroring can be very helpful if you are willing to see yourself as others see you. You get the chance to see how it feels to have your behavior inflicted upon yourself and see how you like it.

It can be uncomfortable because growth is often painful. I mean. How, dare she use MY attributes against me?! (Insert sarcasm here.) Seeing myself in my best friends’ actions was awkward. Yet because it was my friend, my response softened, and I did my best to reign in the Boss Queen inside, that likes to call the shots.

I bring up this mystical communication we call mirroring because it’s not talked about much, yet it is used in everyday interactions between all humans. Our exchanges with others very much depends on what kind of energy you are bringing to the situation before you. At work, school, relationships, social media, driving, or at the dinner table. What you put out is what we get back. Attitudes are contagious, so hopefully, we are all doing our best to share sunshine and not BS.

When we see something in another we do not like, maybe it is a sign to go within and fix it in ourselves. Even if we don’t know how to correct our behavior, even noticing our tendencies, is a great way to get to know yourself. I will use this knowledge to temper how I may react in the next similar situation. I think that is how we mature and become the people we want to be. I love using my experiences to grow. I chose to make small changes in myself and do better next time.

If ever I find myself crown locked with another Boss Queen, whether she’s my friend or not. I will stop and see myself in her. I will do my best to practice empathy and really listen to her message. Sometimes, friends and family fight. It is life. But I’ve found it is my willingness to be respectful and negotiate that really allows me to move through to a resolution, that is kind and acceptable for everyone.

This week the mirror showed me a reflection of the Boss Queen inside, getting crown-locked with my soul sister. “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who’s the most stubborn of us all?”

I decided I valued my friendship more than my righteousness. Now I take this lesson and self-awareness into the future with me. I have learned to appreciate the human who mirrors you. It’s a message to help you see yourself. They may be a reflection of you.

Love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

www.AdventurewithEmyandStacy.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

 

*Photo credit – Pure Heart Memoir

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

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Who’s in your soul tribe?

emyminzel

 

Isn’t it wonderful when you find the others that make up your soul tribe? These are the people who stay by your side no matter what. These devoted souls are rare and irreplaceable, but in my experience, we don’t really know who they are until we grow up and get older. The length of time and experiences shared, help to prove the bond and loyalty of your relationship. Some of us are lucky and have wonderful relationships with our parents and family, these are usually the first folks to fit the description of dependability.

My Auntie Max told me when I was very young. “In life, you will be lucky if you have 5 friends who you can count on.” she said as she held up her hand. “And most people never are lucky enough to have that many.” The older I get, the more I think it is true. Not everyone, who is your friend, is going to fit the description of completely loyal and dependable. But when we find them, it’s up to us to return the trust and devotion to keep that relationship strong.

I met my best friend in middle school, she is one of the people I can count on. My mom got married when I was thirteen and we moved from northern Minnesota to a Twin Cities suburb the year I was in 7th grade. I started my new school, the first day back from Christmas vacation, smack dab in the middle of the year. I walked into art class as the new kid and I was unsure where I should sit. As I stood there, scoping out the possibilities, I heard; “Hey! Hey new girl! Come sit over here.” My heart swelled with gratitude at the kindness this blue-eyed girl had shown by inviting me to their table.

That girl, who welcomed me with kindness, had also been new to the school at the beginning of that same year. She knew what it felt like to be the new kid and not know anybody so, she offered me her alliance. I asked her name. Meagan was twelve with puffy bangs, spunky and super funny. Little did I know that meeting her that day in the seventh grade was truly a blessing from the Higher Powers. Meagan and I have been best friends going on thirty years now. I consider her my soul sister and part of our family.

We have gone through all sorts of life experiences together; and for it have a wonderful bond that neither of us would ever want to be without. We looked out for each other and we had a blast growing up together. When I became pregnant in high school, Meagan always stood by me. She was my personal cheerleader and helped me get through some very emotional times. After I had my daughter, we lived very different lives and drifted apart for a bit. But, no matter how different our lives looked, Meagan was always there if I needed her.

I knew she was just a phone call and short drive away. She was a teenager with wheels; while I was perfectly content to stay home and do the mommy thing with my beautiful baby. She still would swing by to visit my daughter and I, before she went out at night. She still knows how to make me laugh when I am down. Even though our paths differed a bit, we didn’t let our varying lives change our friendship. Meagan and I know that we are there for each other no matter what. What a blessing to have such a faithful friend!

As we grow older, it becomes easier to pick out the qualities of people who are loyal friends. I like to give others the benefit of the doubt and trust they are who they say they are. I let their actions speak to their reliability. When you can’t physically be there, I’ve learned it is still important to check in and show you care.

During the ups and downs of life, the people you lean on varies with different situations. That’s why it’s important to me to be part of a kind and caring community of friends and family. I am also fortunate to have a family full of allies. When we are lucky enough to find those that show up when life gets real, it’s important to let them know how much you appreciate it. I just thought I’d share this reminder to value those irreplaceable people in our lives. And give thanks to the higher power for sending their support your way.

*Photo taken at our friends wedding reception with other great friends from high school. I have my best friend in a playful squeeze because I just love her so darn much! 😜

Thanks for reading my blog today.

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

 

 

 

We have already won

emyminzel

Tomorrow Adventure Sister Stacy and I will find out if we win a publishing contest we submitted our book trilogy in. We have been so busy with other parts of our lives that we haven’t had time to worry or concern ourselves too deeply in the outcome. Although we both sincerely really want to win this contest, we are detached from fixating on the win.

Our success does not rest on winning a contest. Our success lies within the people we help, the readers who enjoy our work and get joy from our message. When we started our joint literary adventure, we were very clear with each other that we truly wanted to help others find joy in their lives.  We have both been through our share of tough times and we wanted to share with others how we chose to cope, heal, and rise above to make it through to today.

The community we build on acceptance of being authentically you, doing our best to level up in our lives by being better and doing better, while seeking joy in our lives every day, even the crap days, is exactly what we wanted to create.

We wanted to create a non-judgmental community of authentic, great, and magical in their own way kind of people, that are willing to accept and cherish others for their differences. The Adventure Sisters celebrate uniqueness. We celebrate eccentric and unconventional people who do what they can to truly stay authentic to themselves while being the best person they can be.

When deciding to write these books of lessons, we kept in mind that most people at the core of their beings are good. Keeping this in mind, we knew that even those with the best of intentions make mistakes in their lives, including us! We believe that in general, most people are doing the best that they can in the time and space they are given when on the journey of life.

This gave us strength to be brave enough and support each other while spilling our guts, our dreams, our fears and our feelings out on to the pages of our books. We keep our Facebook posts and blogs positive because we know that the world is bursting with stories of the opposite. We are fully aware of the energy we send out into the world with our words. This makes us hold each other to not higher standards necessarily but to the standard of joyfulness, to do our best to be the light in the dark.

We see the good in the world because we are looking for it. If we can’t find it, we create joy ourselves. We don’t need music to dance, we beat to our own rhythm inside, we radiate with joy because that is what we also need to feel in our own lives. We understand that winning a contest would indeed be exciting and joyous for us both. We also believe that life will support us on the path to our highest and greatest good.

If we win, we will be ecstatic and overwhelmed with thankfulness! If we do not, we will not be discouraged. We will keep on, keeping on! Because that is part of the adventure too. Together we have learned to trust life to bring us exactly where we need to be. This literary adventure has brought Stacy and I closer than we ever were, I can truly say that I now love my friend/soul sister as if she is family. I view this relationship alone as a giant blessing gift wrapped just for us inside our joint journey.

This is the magical stuff of life. Starting out in the deep forest of the Boundary Waters Canoe Area, two hippie chicks just looking for enlightenment one portage at a time, has led us to situations in our lives we would have never even imagined. I believe we will succeed, it may not look like what we think, but I know that no matter what… it’s going to be fabulous, because we will make is so!

Thank you for reading my blog and following the Adventure Sisters as we reach for the stars. We hope that you will learn from our wins, our losses and enjoy our unique views on the world around us. I cannot wait to share the next steps of our adventure with you!

Sending you love, luck and most of all JOY!

Wishing you an abundance of love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@emyminzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com