Tag: marriage

Good talk, honey.

emyminzel

This past weekend I was lucky to spend time with my husband not doing anything but enjoying his company. Somedays it’s nice not to have a full schedule of to do’s, as he’s my favorite person to do nothing with! This weekend gave us time to catch up with each other as we sat under the porch while it rained and talked. We shared a blanket, deep thoughts, and held hands. It was a moment that brought us both contentment. We just enjoyed being together while watching a storm pass.

Holding on to each other while letting the storm blow over made me contemplative. Isn’t this a perfect metaphor for marriage? Having your best friend by your side while the weather or life rages around us is a blessing. I see how lucky I am to have him helping me through the toughest times. Truthfully, there are times when I forget just how fortunate I am. The Universe brings me beautiful relationships, a career I enjoy, and a life with freedom to be me.

I have found it’s during the stormy days that tend to make the most meaningful conversations and form deeper connections. This weekend was no different. During our peaceful rainy day together, my husband, Jason and I found ourselves in philosophical discussions. We discussed a recent rocky spell in our life, and how going through it so separately made us realize what we could lose. We saw how eventually it helped us grow closer and more thankful for each other.

I find it not so funny that we seemed to have to get so close to losing each other before we realized just how much we love and need another. Has any such situation happened to you? When something terrible happens, it decidedly changes your perspective on life from that moment forward. It could be a tragic event that changes you almost immediately, or in our case, it took us years to go through this lesson together.

Isn’t this how we get ‘experience’ and how people grow wisdom? It’s also how we grow empathy, fear, and doubts. It is why people have a crisis of faith, life crisis, or breakdowns that alter who we once were. My best friend just went through something just like this. Life changing moments and lessons that agitate you from the inside and show us what spills out. Do we trust our guidance after our foundation has been shaken? What do we think when we don’t know what to think anymore?

Sometimes life is hard, adulting isn’t as fun as it looks on TV and our lives aren’t as perfect as we’d like them to be. It was nice to take a beat and sit on the front porch holding hands with the man I love. I realized just how thankful and blessed I am to have such a beautiful family life. It reminded me to stop my complaining and nitpicking about my husband or anyone else! I have learned to be grateful for the man he is and the loved ones that put up with me!

After all, I am no saint, I can be challenging and demanding, and he loves me anyway. Although I am thankful, sometimes, I see myself complaining about my blessings when they feel heavy. Adventure Sister Stacy wears a bracelet that helps remind her to count her blessing instead of her complaints. Recently she gifted me two of these bracelets. She gave me two because she said. “They break easily, or I complain a lot.” Now I understand what she means.

It’s easy to get in the habit of voicing our complaint because when we are vocal of our blessings, we don’t want to seem like we are bragging. We don’t want others to think we are boastful, so we diminish our blessings of a great life by complaining about the small stuff. This ‘rough patch’ ended up shining a spotlight on the value of our perfectly imperfect marriage.

As my husband and I poured our souls into our conversation and the moments of peace, we both realized the blessing of our love and the life we share. I am better with him, and he is better with me because we are a team. There is nobody else I trust as much to have my back, or I want on my team more than my husband. He helps me grow, loves me as I am, and makes me crazy in all the best ways that make life enjoyable. That’s family for you.

I just wanted to drop you a note to remind you and myself, that it is okay to speak of the good stuff as passionately as we voice our displeasure. I don’t know about you, but I need to hear the good that is happening in the world today. Please tell me about your baby’s first step, or how your youngest son graduated high school if you won a ton at Bingo or how grateful you are to have a good day!

Then, let me tell you what a great guy my husband is, and just how lucky I feel to be me. I am so thankful for my husband, my family, and my friends, that I cannot even contain my feels. Love swells in my heart and slips out my eyes for the blessing of my imperfectly perfect life. I am also thankful for my blessings in disguise; I am grateful for the blessings that stayed even when I forgot to be thankful.

It’s remarkable what I learn sitting on the porch in the rain holding hands with my husband: good talk, honey, good talk.

Sending love, blessings, and joy,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

www.AdventurewithEmyandStacy.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

 

Are you already there?

emyminzel

 

“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.” Dr. Wayne Dyer ~

We as humans have a lot of things in common. Like the desire to always want more or get something better than what we already have. Though, even once we get more of what we wanted, we start all over again. The need to want more and have better just seems to keep growing. So, when is what we already have, enough? I think it becomes enough once you learn to be thankful for what we already have and practicing appreciation for how blessed we truly are.

If we have a wonderful marriage and family who loves us unconditionally, why do we complain about their antics instead of speaking to the good they bring to our lives? Do we spend the time maintaining those relationships or is it always the other persons’ job to appease? Do you make others responsible for your happiness or blame them if you are not happy? Do we expect others to entertain us and keep us content?

I read something recently that was very poignant, not only in love but every relationship we are blessed with. It said. “Everyone is always looking for the perfect partner. Yet nobody seems to try and be the perfect partner.”

Are we holding ourselves up to the same standards we hold our loved ones too?

Happiness is an inside job. When it comes right down to it. If you take away all our money, jobs, titles or stuff…. All we ‘have’ to give others and ourselves is love. When you think about it harder; the thing that brings us the most happiness is love!

A piece of our own hearts as currency. To give love is to receive love, it’s simple but complex. Have you heard of the love languages? We all differ in how we can feel and receive love. What makes me feel loved is different than how my husband needs to be treated to feel loved.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I recommend reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The love languages are: Words of affirmation, Acts of service, Receiving gifts, Quality time and Physical touch.

I found it very helpful in doing my part to maintain a happy marriage. It helped me learn that the way we are able to feel and receive love is different for everyone. But my point is that, no matter where you are in life, the grass is always greener on the other side if you aren’t watering your own lawn. You may find that once you start tending to and nurturing your life, you are able to see just how blessed you really are!

Here is an example: Do we expect our husbands to always cut the grass or shovel the snow while giving nothing in return? How do we show our appreciation for doing his part in taking care of the household duties? Do they need a present or what if we tried to make his favorite supper that night? Would this be a fair give and take exchange of energy and love?

If acts of service aren’t your husbands/partners love language, you may want to try a different approach and buy him a present, sing his praises or maybe even give him a back rub instead.

When we want more happiness, love, opportunity, or success, it helps if we appreciate what it is that we already have. The Universe/God is listening to your vibrations and does not deliver your opportunities when you aren’t appreciating the ones already in your lap!

If you aren’t thankful and appreciating your life as it is, or taking steps to improve it, it just not going to change. As it goes, the Universe delivers more of what you are asking for. If you are perpetually complaining, it’s going to give you more to complain about. If you are forever giving thanks and counting your blessings, it would pose to think you will get more of what you are thankful for.

When you are frustrated and tested, remember that the more you look for the good in the situation the more likely it will turn out good. Your life may not be perfect. But if you take a closer look and see you have love in your heart, family, and friends, a safe warm place to sleep, food on the table and a way to provide this security… you are already there!

You are already at the point in life where you can choose to be happy!

Psst… remember, the feeling is the prayer!

“There is no way to happiness. Happiness it the way” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

Wishing you the magical soulful healing you need right now to be the best you can be.

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

2018 Review!

emyminzel

What are you proud of and what could you do better?

If I were to make an adult report card about life, I feel like there are major courses we all have in common. Each of these life courses may demand more time than others at times, so they cannot always be as equal as we would like them to be. Balance is good thing, but when life hands us assignments, it’s not always in manageable bite size pieces.

This year I wanted to grade myself on my personal performance in 2018. Then use it as a guide going into 2019 so that I know where I need to focus my attention. Here are the courses of life in which I am going to grade myself and do my best to be realistic yet kind; so that I don’t romanticize areas in which I can improve.

2018 Report Card

Family Relationships = B

Marriage/Love = C+

Career & Money = C-

Health & PE = F

Passions & Hobbies = B

Family 2018 – I believe that relationships with my closest family members have improved this year. We all have grown on personal levels and learned to accept and respect each other for who we are. Yet there is always room for improvement. We could be closer, and I would like to work more towards that going forward.

Family 2019 Goals – Spend more time with my mom, daughter and extended family. This summer has been crazy busy, and I did not get to spend as much time as I would have liked to with my favorites. To rectify this, I’d like to plan some girl dates and outings that support team work and relationship building.

Marriage/Love 2018 – I put marriage in its own category because I believe it is a separate relationship that takes much more tending to. 2018 has been a major year of transformation and growth for my marriage. I admit that not all of it was as perfect as the pictures I post on Facebook. To be honest, we had a very trying year. Yet by the end of 2018 we are better than we had been all year. We made it through the growing pains, we got stronger and our marriage muscles improved from this struggle. We both have sincerely thanked each other for the life lessons we seem to have given during the past year.

Marriage 2019 Goals – We hope to use those lessons as stepping stones. I am thankful for our love and communication skills that helped us through really trying months. I will not take my husband’s love, support and loyalty for granted. I realize that there are ways I can improve my part of the relationship. Like not blaming him for things we both have a part in creating. Again, I must work on myself by managing my time, emotions and expectations to better benefit our relationship.

Career & Money 2018 – Like the teacher who is hard on you because they know you can do better, I’m going to be very tough on myself in this area because I feel like I need to be. Although I have worked harder this past year than I ever have in my life! My bank account does not reflect a smidgen of the effort I extended, and this is not okay with me. In a world that sees success as dollar signs; I know that I need money to accomplish the things I want to. I’ve got Adventures to go on gosh darn it!

I am doing my best and working hard to make a career by following my heart and passions. While reality is that my real-life needs are not being met by doing so. This current situation frustrates me beyond words because I love being a Massage Therapist. I love helping others feel better in their own skin.

Owning your own business is not easy. It’s taken me eight years to build my practice and gain clients to be financially successful… and only one summer to feel like I hit a massive recession. Currently my career is not supporting the lifestyle I wish to live. Now and it’s up to me to decide what I am going to do about it besides complain. I’ve got to get back to good in this course!

Career & Money 2019 Goals – I just don’t know how to justify doing what feels good and following my heart; when it does not support my other human needs and wants. I am hoping the Universe/God sends me some signs of relief soon. That being said; I am very proud of myself for overcoming my fears and taking the chances I did.

I used every single ounce of courage I had to run for State Representative so that I could affect the change I wished to see in my government and community. I lost the election, but I learned a great deal and had a magnificent life experience. I am proud of myself for that. Yet, doing so had a negative effect on my income and career that I did not anticipate.

If I choose to run again, I will now have the experience and knowledge of what to expect, which should help me prepare.

Health & PE 2018 – Although I lost weight in 2018, I know I failed health class. I will not candy coat it in anyway because I would be lying. I had an adventurous and fun yet, very stressful year, that had me reaching out for the comfort of all my bad habits I had thought I was over. I started smoking again, I was not eating nutritious foods and basically lived off wine and pizza. I was not exercising except when I was out door knocking or in a parade.

It was the stress and anxiety that helped me lose the weight. Yet during the short time between the election in November and ringing in the New Year, I have put every single pound back on. I was seeking consolation through food and eating my feelings. Not healthy and I know it. Time to regroup and recoup.

Last, but not least. I learned that I have a strong tendency to fall back into old habits.

Health & PE Goals 2019 – This year I will focus on losing the weight in a healthy way. Giving my body what it needs to be its best. Utilizing nutrition and exercise will be my number one goal for healthy living. I will give my body the proper nutrition it needs with whole foods and stop feeding it sugar and pizza!

I need to love myself enough to say no to things that insult my body, mind and spirit. I must love myself enough to make decision and choices that heal, not harm my body. I know better, I must do better.I have resolved to manage my stress with exercise instead of the brain changing chemicals of smoking. (So far, so good!)

From what I remember, I used to like to exercise! Dance parties in the kitchen are back into my routine and squats while I fold laundry are now on the schedule most every day. I have a goal to start running again too! I am ready for this change.

Passions & Hobbies 2018 – Although this year was plum full of goal setting, and dream chasing I feel like I had a really hard time with balancing it all into life. I gave myself a B, because I had a very adventurous year doing things, I never dreamed I would do.

Yet, I still did not do much of the things that bring me to balance. Like camping in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area or kayaking and spending time on the water. I justified this by saying if I didn’t run for office, I may not have the BWCA to escape to in the future. When I should have made time to go because that is where I feel my connection to spirit the most. After all, it was my passion for the environment that led me to running for office.

In 2018 Stacy and I submitted our book proposals three different times and where unsuccessful. I will not let this dishearten my resolve but will work harder to get better so that we will succeed.

Passion & Hobbies 2019 Goals –

I allowed the demands of my time to pull me from my spiritual path at times. I now see I need those time outs to center my soul and listen to my inner guidance. Being realistic with the timeline of achievements will benefit my state of mind too.

Adventure Sister Stacy and I know that 2019 will lead to another book to add to our Trilogy and are excited to get to work on it!

I’d like to work on my public speaking ability in 2019 also. It is an area in which I would like to improve for the sake of my own personal growth. In 2018 I learned that facing my fears is difficult, but the reward is worth it.

I am extremely proud of my courage, tenacity, persistence and dedication I showed I am capable of in 2018. There are many areas in which I see I can improve, like working on my closest relationships that took the back burner as I chased my dreams. I have learned the value my time and the importance of balancing it.

Comments:

Look at that! I have not only grown older but maybe even a little wiser! 2018 has been full of lessons and growth that have led to setting more goals. Self-improvement is something I work on every day. Working on ourselves is important so that we don’t blame others for situations in our lives. It helps us take responsibility for where we are, where we are going, how we are going to get there and who we are while we are there.

You cannot change others, you can only change yourself!

I tend to look on the bright side of things, so I had to be tough on myself in this report card. As you can see 2018 GPA has some room for improvement! My hopes are that these grades will serve as a tool to continue my own personal growth. I can’t wait to see this report card come up in my timeline over the next years to compare!

When we put our pro’s and con’s down on paper its easier to see how far we’ve come in one year and how far we have yet to go!

What lessons have you learned during 2018?! I’d love to hear how you’ve grown!

May your 2019 be full of blessings and Lessons through Joy!

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

Thank you Tempur-Pedic!

emyminzel

Anyone who’s been married for a longer length of time knows that marriage can be difficult somedays. Just like in all areas of life there are ups and downs in relationships that can test your patience, tolerance, and make you go slightly mad. My marriage is no different and not immune to a few battles of wills through our years of matrimony. I’ve mentioned before my husband and I are as different as night and day, this leads to butting heads when we feel we are in the right or being slighted by the other. We are both suborn as a bulldog, we will dig our heals in until we get our way or there is a compromise to be made.

During these tests of wills and wits we have had times when we most definitely do not want to see each other much less sleep next to each other but we always do. When we are so steaming mad and feel like the guest room seems like a tempting escape we never go there. The reason we stay sleeping together when the guest room calls, is our Tempur-Pedic mattress. We are both so stubborn that neither of us are willing to give up our individual love affairs with our king size Tempur-Pedic mattress. We both LOVE it.

It seems silly that something as inanimate as a mattress could have an affect on our relationship, but it does. We both sleep very well since we bought it so neither of us are willing to give up our comfortable sleep because the bone head sleeping next to us made us mad. Besides if one of us really did move into the guest room, the other would probably be extremely obstinate about the temporary abandonment. That decision to leave would most likely then cause another rift in the force of our relationship.

Thank you Tempur-Pedic for making a mattress so comfortable that it has kept our marriage together on the nights we would like to hang each other off the roof by our toenails. Our inflexible bullheaded determination to keep our comfortable night’s sleep has also been at times the catalyst that keeps our marriage together. Isn’t this the epitome of what marriage can sometimes be about anyways? Being so darn stubborn and unwilling to quit or fail that you just keep keeping on.

Being determined to get what you want while not giving up something you love is part of making a marriage work. Being willing to compromise just enough that you are able to hold true to your needs and values. By staying together even if it was just for the pigheaded determination to get a good night’s sleep, it also cements our dedication to each other even at times of difficulty. It is because neither of us being willing to leave that solidifies our trust and faith in each other.

So, thank you Tempur-Pedic, from this married couple, you have no idea how many times the comfort of our mattress has spared us from the valley of separateness that could have been instilled between the hallway from the master bedroom to the guest room. The power of a cozy night’s sleep on our Tempur-Pedic mattress, has held us together for better and for worse, in sickness and health, we are thankful for each other and for you!

P.S. I am not a paid spokesperson, advertisement or affiliate of Tempur-Pedic just a well-rested, happily married customer.

P.P.S. For real….We love our Tempur-Pedic!

Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

Twitter: @emyminzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

The Adventure Sisters on Instagram
@stacycrep