Tag: #grow

The Blame Game

emyminzel

 

Sometimes we make mistakes, like saying the wrong thing or follow a path meant for someone else. Only to have life chew us up and regurgitates us closer to where we are truly meant to be. It’s up to us to take the lessons learned from these challenges and grow from them. Being embarrassed, ashamed, hurt or (any emotion that comes from the feeling of failure) is unpleasant, and nobody likes it. But this is life and we all go through it.

There are times I have blamed others for my falls because that’s the human thing to do.  Except blaming others for my actions made me a victim and successfully removed my own power to change my situation. This was a weird optical illusion I inflicted upon myself that did not do me any favors. It just allowed me to wallow in self-pity and stay stuck in my inability to change. When in reality it was really my responsibility to make the changes that lead to the life I want.

Blaming others did not help me grow, it kept me stuck and paralyzed with fear. I did not want to admit that just maybe… I could possibly be responsible for my situation. Realizing I had made my own mess would also make me accountable to clean it up! OH NO. The horror! I can joke and laugh at myself now, because this behavior just doesn’t even seem logical to me today.

Because of my experiences of doing this in my younger years and seeing this same pattern play out over and over, I would get so frustrated at the stickiness it created in my life. I had no other option but to admit my behaviors and my tendencies, then do the work to really changing this habit. I matured into self-acceptance and awareness by seeing this in myself and watching others go through their tribulations as well.

It did take me a while to have the courage to be honest with myself and start noticing these tendencies to blame when they came up. I had to reel in my reactions and start being proactive! There were times I would voluntarily cut off my nose to spite my face, before I admitted any wrongdoing. As you can imagine this did not get me far in life. Yet the outcomes did help me to see that it was no longer how I wished to behave.

There is a silver lining to admitting I wasn’t perfect after all, even though I knew it all along. Allowing some self-awareness, helped me grow into a better person, or at least in the direction of ‘better’ as I defined it. I am not saying that I always blamed others. It was just those times in which I was too stubborn to admit I was wrong, that I was willing to dig my heals in and harm a valued relationship instead of working it out, those were the big lessons for me.

I’ve come to view these times in our lives, in which we play the “Blame Game,” as an opportunity to learn. I see it to be an essential experience for us as we mature, to mature. How do we deal with it? I have learned that sometimes it is hard to admit when I am at fault. Nobody likes to eat crow, as they say, yet learning to value my relationships instead of giving priority to my pride has proven to be worth it over and over again. Has this been true for you too?

Wishing you lots of love, light, and acceptance today!

Love and blessings,

 

Wishing you lots of love, light, and acceptance today!

Love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

www.AdventurewithEmyandStacy.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

 

Self-sabotage: Do you do it?

emyminzel

I consider myself a continuous student of life. I love to learn about the world around me, and even more mysterious, the world within myself. Self-growth has been an important catalyst to get where I am today. Having the guts to look in the mirror and call myself out on my BS, has been life-changing for me, in the very best of ways. However, I know that I will never really be done learning about the world or myself.

There are habits I have that are clear as the noon sun glaring in my eyes. I figured I better pay attention to these signs. Often when I am feeling uncomfortable about a situation, this is when I know it is time to do some growing. Lately, I have been focused on changing some very ingrained habits. If you have ever tried to do so, you know how hard it can seem.

This got me thinking, are these habits just self-sabotage in disguise? Because I love to learn, and Google knows everything, I did some research and found a great article on Psychologytoday.com that laid it all out in black and white. According to Ellen Hendriksen Ph.D. article, “Why do we self-sabotage?” There are several reasons! (I will share the link with you in references) In short, this is what I learned.

  1. Self-worth – Not feeling worthy of success, or confident enough to try.
  2. Control – We are controlling our failure. In our minds, a controlled dumpster fire is a better option than publicly failing, so we sabotage.
  3. Perceived fraudulence – Not acknowledging our growth and view others to think of us a fraud or fake. We may reach our goals while secretly worrying about the judgment of others.
  4. Scapegoating – The blame game. Saying, because of one mistake, you chose to scrap the whole thing.
  5. Familiarity – If we are used to being overlooked, put down, underestimated and even dismissed, the feeling of attention is uncomfortable and success or accolades feel weird!
  6. Boredom – Stirring up drama and conflict, to use our power in some way to cause disturbance for a distraction.

She even states that; “the root of all self-sabotage is the fear of failure!” What a coincidence! I just wrote a blog about free falling through fear (https://emyminzel.com/2019/04/05/free-falling-through-fear/)

I was so caught up with the fear of the unknown, that I recognized it was stunting my growth where I was working to improve. These habits I wish to quit, are my very own weapons of self-sabotage! Indeed, I was on to something here!

I finally see that I am a great warrior. All the unhealthy habits I cling too, are just the same ones that keep me stuck. Ellen’s article states these behaviors spring from a subconscious fear that, trying my best, won’t be enough.  Whoa… busted.

I find it comforting and magically synchronistic that I happened to see this article at this exact moment. While I am acutely aware of the persistent pestering of demanding negative habits, that keep racking my brain, I am working on letting go of these habits, though I seem to want to keep them as badly as I want to let go.

Doing my daily exercise of Kundalini Yoga Nabhi Kriya, I got an idea for a mantra that I plan to use when feeling the tug of these old habits. It wrote it down on a note card and taped this mantra in a spot I see often. I may even put it in the bathroom with the others. It says.

“I keep the promises that I make to myself. Because I am worthy of the life, I desire.”

It’s nice to recognize why we do the things we do, especially when they are harmful so that we can move past them. When I find out more information about myself or my tendencies, I use this knowledge to make the changes I wish to see.  This lesson has come in the right way at the right time, and I am thankful for hearing it.

Stacy and I have dreams and goals that are big and wonderful! Honestly, deep down that does scare me a little bit! The Universe is asking us to level up again, and as wonderful that is, I do worry that I am not good enough. I know I am not the only person who worries about their abilities. I also believe the only way we can find out how able we are, is to do it anyway, even though we are scared. I am willing to do all I can to get to the root of any self-sabotage and defeat my fear of failure.

I trust the Universe to send these Adventure Sisters, lessons through joy, because I know that’s what we truly desire! We both simultaneously practice various personal and spiritual growth rituals. We are both doing our best to nurture better habits for our wellbeing. I tell you what. Making change is hard!

Sometimes, we fail and fall hard flat on our faces. But we encourage each other to get back up. We remind each other how worthy and able we are of achieving our goals if we do not quit. I wanted to encourage you to keep with the promises you make to yourself today. And remind you that you are worthy of all you desire too!

I love you.

Love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

www.AdventurewithEmyandStacy.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

Reference;

www.quickanddirtytips.com/savvy-psychologist

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-be-yourself/201710/why-do-we-self-sabotage-0

*Photo taken on the Babtism River, Tettegouche State Park, Minnesota

 

 

 

Brave enough to be vulnerable –

emyminzel

“There is no greater measure of courage than vulnerability.” Brene’ Brown, PhD

There are people who can mask their emotions under even the most stressful of situations. I call this ability a poker face and we all have worn it from time to time.  We wear this unreadable expression when we want to keep our cards close to our chest and don’t want others to know our true feelings. We mask those emotions with a very neutral facial expression.

We cover our vulnerability. As humans we have become good at reading facial expressions, it’s a survival skill. A twitch of an eye, a tear or maniacal smirk can give us a warning when the situation is about to go in a negative direction. Just the opposite is true also; laughter and smiles can let us know it’s okay for us to be at ease.

Although humans share this planet and we all should be on the same team, we know this isn’t true, for everyone seems to separate themselves by their beliefs. Still others will use your vulnerability to manipulate you or use it against you. There are even some situations in which having a poker face is necessary for success; as a lawyer, a business person making deals, or even a politician.

Yet, even with all that, there are those who wear their hearts on their sleeves and everything they are thinking is as plain as the nose on their face. What I don’t understand is why showing our emotions is considered weak. As a woman, I swim in my emotions every minute of every day. I find them very useful actually. These emotions grow my strength.

If a sunrise makes my eyes tear up with gratitude for another day or if a Kleenex commercial makes me cry with sentiment, why is this considered fragile? If I am vulnerable enough to feel all these emotions, I am also strong enough to process them and use them to my benefit. Doesn’t feeling our emotions and willing to share them, make us stronger than those who chose to keep sentiment under lock and key? Emotions get things done; they make us act, move proverbial mountains and even change the world.

Being emotionally invested in an outcome, helps us to see alternate routes and options for solutions. Being passionately invested in the results makes me very creative in finding solutions. I don’t buy into the two choice only options always given to us as a society. False choices of having to choose between the right or the left, masculine/feminine, right/wrong, environmental preservation or economic growth… just doesn’t always fit the need.

Who decided it is the emotionless, poker faces of the world that get to choose what is right and wrong? I’m calling BS on how ‘strength’ is depicted. The way I see it, emotions, covered up by a neutral mask, only means you are not brave enough to show the world your real face.

It is our beliefs that separate us and make us give others the choice of my way or your way… when really, our world is full of options and solutions and hardly ever is there only two choices.

As American civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “The measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge.”

I believe we are currently in a “times of challenge” part of our history. There are still so many people who think that maybe women are not ‘strong enough’ to lead because we are emotional beings. I disagree. To choose to wear your heart on your sleeve or your emotions all over your face, is brave and profoundly human. To show your vulnerability is to show your courage and what you stand for. It is those with the poker faces you should be wary of.

Emotion like this can even be seen in the little details of life. Like the strength of a mother who brings her 6-week-old newborn into the clinic for vaccinations. Knowing she is about to subjecting her infant to the pain of the injection. She too cries with her baby, as the shot is administered. Holding in her arms the embodiment of unconditional love. She knows this act is for a greater good and protection… There is the emotion of love streaming down her face. There is strength.

Strength has a face and it is not what Hollywood tells us. It is not a poker face or an angry face. It is in the emotion and courage to be brave no matter what. If society is going to heal, we need to change the way we view strength. Because if anyone knows how to heal, nurture and grow; it is a woman with the courage to be brave enough to show her strong emotions to all.

It’s our time to show up and be our true selves. Know it is okay to be vulnerable and that being true to ourselves is the greatest measure of courage.

“There is no greater measure of courage than vulnerability.” Brene’ Brown, Ph.D. from her book Rising Strong. It’s a great read and I highly recommend it!

*Picture take on the Mississippi River, my daughters first canoe ride. (She was scared but brave. I am so proud of her!)

Wishing you love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

 

 

The purpose of changes and transition –

emyminzel

There have been some major evolutions happening in my life this past year. I feel like every single facet of my existence has been touched by change. All of it! There’s been so many evolutions that I believe I too have changed because of them. As humans do, we tend to appreciate our blessings and situations a little more after we’ve had an opportunity to see them in a different light. Sometimes we must first come very close to losing something we cherish, before we can see how valuable it really is to us. Is this true for you too?

I have been blessed with many opportunities to see just how wonderful my life is, after several lessons through joy allowed me to realize this! After experiencing a whirlwind campaign life; I am much more inclined to thoroughly enjoy quite weekends with my loved ones and evenings to myself. I now have time to make a home cooked meal, clean the house and even exercise, now that my schedule isn’t jam packed with campaign responsibilities. My life was like a soup. It was up to me to add spice to a dull dish, since I am the cook, right?! When I decided to add more excitement and flavor to my days/life, I changed the dish and it changed me.

Having the experience of being excessively busy, has helped me re-find the joy in my everyday tasks that once seemed boring. My perspective of working from home has shifted. I always knew I was blessed to do so, yet after this last year, I feel like my definition of work has changed and that my career has benefitted from my attitude adjustment. I very much enjoy my routine and the peaceful life now; when not long ago, there were days it made me mad with monotony! My career has allowed me to help others in my community and this brings me much joy and fulfillment. It just took me a bit to realize it!

My one and only child, moved out last Summer and that was also a huge life changer. I always knew she was going to go! After all, that’s why we raise our children the best we can. So they can be their best when they go out into the world. Yet, I miss her so much sometimes that I find myself texting, calling and making up silly questions just to hear from her. This has allowed me to appreciate the time we get to spend together much more, and I make it as special as I can.

The truth about my marriage was that we weren’t doing so hot, for a bit, last year. I mean that’s marriage for you; some years are easier than others. There is always love, but the friendship and bond we had built needed maintenance and I wasn’t able to give it the time it deserved for a while. The campaign was a wonderful distraction from our problems, but it also kept us from resolving our issues sooner than we did. I cannot blame the election for any troubles, that would not be fair or true.

It just so happened that the election occurred during this life lesson in marriage. I considered this time challenging, but we came out stronger for it. That was worth the experience and change of perception as well. I love my husband dearly. He is my best friend. This experience has helped me see just how much I treasure him and our relationship. This was a blessing inside the lesson through joy.

Even my friendships seem to have been touched by my change of perspective over the last year. I have learned to allow others leeway for humanness and I now freely give the benefit of the doubt. I have learned to love others as they are, unconditionally and without trying to push my ideals upon them. I have come to see my own quirks as something that may seem eccentric to others, but i’ve also learned to accept and love myself because these qualities are what make me special. I have learned this is what makes my loved ones special too!

I have learned that with age comes wisdom and that I have a whole lot of learning left to do! I believe I was also learning to love myself as I love others. This last year of my life has been a year of transformation, movement and growth that needed to happen. I am so thankful for all these lessons through joy, even if they may not have always seemed joyous at the time. Life has a beautiful way of bringing you full circle, to want what you need that helps you become who you are supposed to be.

I am love. You are too.

Wishing you the magical soulful healing you need right now to be the best you can be.

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

*Photo taken in Princeton, MN – homegrown old fashion vining petunias!

Hooray for Hemp!

emyminzel

I am a girl who is in love with Hemp products and I want to tell you why! First off, hemp is great for our environment. It is naturally resistant to insects and pests. So, it requires no harmful chemicals that pollute our soil and groundwater to grow. Hemp actually pulls pollution out of the soil!!!

Hemp is so diverse that there are literally thousands of uses for this eco-friendly plant. I am so looking forward to the days when America gets on board with Hemp Production that can produce sorely needed biodegradable packaging to replace plastics that are leaching toxic chemical into our land and water.

When I was running for State Rep, I advocated for the Industrial Hemp production here in Minnesota. I wanted to help bring awareness of the benefits that hemp has to offer and the employment opportunities it could bring! An Industrial Hemp Manufacturing Facility could put a whole lot of people to work here in central Minnesota. Farmers could grow a crop that does not pollute the water and a local manufacturing facility would support all sorts of workers from office personnel to drivers and machine operators. I hope one day I get to see this dream realized!

Did you know that the human body is equipped with cannabinoid receptors that allow us to process the medicinal uses of the hemp plant? But what about it being a drug to get you high, people ask. Even if you ate a whole Hemp plant, there wouldn’t be a mind-altering high. Yet Hemp is very medicinal in so many ways! Hemp is not marijuana. Hemp has been proven safe and effective for many uses. I have a friend who is a Hemp farmer and he suggests being sure you are using pure organic hemp products that have not been grown with pesticides. You do not want to ingest any of those!

Hemp products I have used that really work!

CBD – CBD comes in many forms, I have been using it in lotion, as it helps when my hands are aching from overuse.  According to the Canabo Medical Clinic website; CBD drops that have been proven to have a positive effect on pain, seizures, anxiety and sleep issues.

Hemp oil – You can use in cooking, beauty products or skin care. I’m thinking Hemp oil will become the new coconut oil. Both be used effectively for multiple things.

Hemp seeds – Are full of nutrients that the body needs! Just add them to a salad or smoothie. They are full of protein at 9 grams per tablespoon, unsaturated fats, fiber, vitamins, and minerals that help our bodies function better. They are high in Omega-3 and that promotes heart health. They are also known to reduce inflammation throughout the body.

Hemp-based Shampoo and Conditioner – I recently tried a local Hemp artisans, beauty products out of curiosity. I must tell you that the one product I am over the moon about is the shampoo and conditioner. I have been having a problem losing my hair at an unsustainable rate. I was very concerned actually. By divine guidance, I was led to this hemp product that has slowed my hair loss by at least 75%. My scalp feels healthier and I am actually growing hair again! My head is thanking me for not subjecting it to all the added chemicals commercially manufactured products have! (This is my personal experience anyway.)

Hemp Fiber – This is one of my favorites! As an environmentally aware person, I am truly ecstatic about the prohibition of Hemp being reversed. Hemp fibers can be used to supplement and replace many of the uses and reasons we cut forests down for! Hemp fibers can be used for building materials, paper, textiles, paint/stain, biodegradable plastic, biofuel, food, animal feed and so much more!

I hope this blog has helped inform you a little more and made you more open to trying Hemp products! I am so excited about the extraordinary possibilities for the health of our planet and ourselves that Hemp has to offer.

*This is not a paid ad, just a girl sharing what I love!

Wishing you an abundance of magical blessings!

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com