‘Authentically me.’

Stacy’s husband, Marty, has been contributing to our Adventure Sisters’ literary adventures by helping edit our blogs. Stacy and I are writers, not editors, totally different beast. Marty says he’s no editor, just a hack trying to help out (He added this remark! He’s a funny guy too!) We still appreciate his help very much.

I tell you this because he had mentioned that he noticed my use of the phrase “authentically me”.  It is one of my favorites along with “Protect what you love”, which I put on my campaign t-shirts. He said we should make an T-shirt that says “authentically me” and I absolutely love the idea. He even worked up some ideas.

I would like to tell you the back story on how I learned to be “authentically me.” It comes from my mother who used to be a little rough around the edges. My mom raised me by herself. Well mostly, she was a single mom who got help looking after me from her parents, siblings and good friends. Friends, who I still think of as family today. She was kind but tough, with a heart was large as Lake Superior, but a bullshit meter with a hair trigger.

Mom would often say what was on her mind in front of anyone. Especially if they deserved it or just plain needed to hear the truth. She has softened somewhat with age, but still has her opinions, as we all do. My mom was fluent in profanity and handed the linguistic skills of a sailor down to her daughter. I used to be annoyed when people would tell me how much I am like my mom, but now I am very proud to hear it.

My mom is a strong woman, who has not had an easy life. She was the oldest of five siblings and was depended on to help raise them. She was a mother hen very early in life. People thought she was bossy. I have come to find out that ‘bossiness’ means she cares. She taught me the value of a good work ethic and loyalty. She taught me that, even if you don’t want to do something, sometimes you just have to anyway. Sometimes, the hardest and the right thing, are the same.

My mom was the perfect example of someone who knows how to love unconditionally. She taught me it is okay to fight. It is okay to get mad. It is okay to hash it out but in the end… we still are family and you are still loved. My mom taught me the value and grace of unconditional love and let me tell you, I tested those limits plenty. I could be a stinker! I was a good girl, when I was younger. I got good grades but I would do rebellious things, just for the thrill of it.  I made her worry a lot. I do feel bad for this now.

Mom is an outgoing person most of the time. She taught me the importance of being social and caring for those around you. When it is time for a party, she’s the first one to show up with food and treats and the last one to leave. That’s because she’s the one helping you clean up. Just like most of us, my mom can be hard to like occasionally. She doesn’t pull any punches and I appreciate her frankness. After all, I would rather know the truth about someone’s feelings and beliefs, than some sugar-coated BS. My mom is a straight shooter and I have tried to be the same because I respect that in her.

There were times that I would be mad at my mom in my younger years, for being over protective. Although I can’t blame her, at times I bet it was like trying to tame a wild horse; raising this free spirit! Yet, looking back now that I have been a mom and concerned for my own daughter, I see what made her act in that way.

A mother’s love is fierce, impenetrable and often unable to be expressed in a way that is easy to understand. As with most mother daughter relationships, we’ve had our ups and downs. I now realize the downs were there to help us learn from one another and appreciate who we were becoming.

It’s tough when your relationship changes, because YOU change.

I am not a free spirited ‘know it all’ teenager anymore. I have learned it is hard to let go of the pieces of your baby that you cherish. Sometimes you just want them to stay the same. Life has a way of helping us mature, even while our relationships lag behind. This causes growing pains, but it is for the best. I find that we get along much better now that we can appreciate each other for who we truly are.

Authentically me. Authentically her. I learned from my mom to accept that I am perfectly imperfect. If by chance someone does not appreciate my authentic self… well… that’s okay. Or like Gena (mom) would say “F’ em.”  Because I have learned to love and accept myself and that is what matters. I have to live with myself every day. I know who I am inside and out and that others only see a snapshot.

I have learned its okay to make mistakes because the important people in my life, know that I am human, and they love me anyway. I like to give others the same courtesy. I learned that from my mom also and she learned it from her mom. I have learned my family ‘rocks my face off with awesomeness’ and I need to put more time and appreciation in now. I learned that lesson the hard way with losing my grandparents and having things left unsaid.

She taught me to say what you need to say. Trust in your own voice. As Gena says: “This is the only voice I got!” If you know her… you are laughing right now but you know you love her too. I feel blessed that she taught me by example how to speak up for myself, to know my voice and opinion matter as much as anyone else’s.

I am thankful to have been blessed with a mom who loved and supported me through all the growing pains. Never once was she not there for me. Another life lesson not to take for granted! I am so thankful for my mom, husband, daughter, family and friends who love me. The real me; inside and out. Authentically me. I love you guys!

What helps you stay authentically you?

What keeps you grounded in your purpose? Please share your thoughts! I really would love to hear from you.

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

EmyforHouse.com

@emyminzel

@EmyforHouse15A

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

Auntie Em!

There is a boy who reminds me just how great kids really are; we’ll call him G! G is my Cousin’s son, who is going to be five, very soon. I am an only child, so my cousins are the closest thing I have to siblings and I love them all. Ever since the Wizard of Oz, I have wanted to be an ‘Auntie Em’ and I am so thankful my Cousins allow me to be this. I have mostly boy Cousins. We grew up together and spent many nights at our Grandparent’s house, when we were little.

There were four of us that were all around my age but younger. I was the ‘Mother Hen’ of the group. I was also the leader of our little pack and loved that I had my Cousins to hang out with. Ever since I can remember, we have got along very well. I still love my Cousins and hanging out with them as much as I can to this day!

I had my Daughter before my Cousins were even thinking about having children. Today she is twenty-five and my best accomplishment in life. Now that my Daughter is grown, I have discovered a renewed appreciation for other people’s children. When I was younger and in the middle of raising my Daughter, there were days it felt like being a Mom, was a lot of hard work.

I do regret the times I did not see her ‘magical’ qualities as a child. I would sometimes tend to ‘not notice’ because I was just so darn tired from working, cooking, cleaning and doing all the Mom things that needed to be done. I wish I would have been able to spend more time enjoying her childhood, instead of working through it. But this is the world we lived in at the time. I had to do it and that’s that. I cannot turn back time, I can only choose to enjoy her as much as I am able to now.

Now that my Daughter is grown and out of the house, I find that I enjoy my visits to see my Cousin’s family even more than before. Because now, he has two sons, who sincerely make my heart fill with Joy when my Husband and I walk through their door.

Big G says to me; “Auntie Em! I am so happy to see you!” as his face lights up just for me! Oh, heavy sigh of happiness!!!

This, right there, is all it takes to make my heart swell with love for my little friend. Who now has me wrapped around his little finger! Just thinking about it makes me smile.

Since he was born, I have loved to come to visit and hang out with my friend Big G. For some reason, we just have a bond that makes us really enjoy each other’s company. We have easy conversations and we enjoy playing games or just hanging out when I visit. He’s a very outgoing kid and we get along great.

His Parents let me be the one that reads him his bedtime story when I visit. I had forgotten how precious and what a blessing it is to be able to do so. Reading to my Daughter was one of my very favorite memories of spending time with her. It was also something that I very much enjoyed when my Grandmother read to me as a little girl. So I like to share that experience when I can.

I find it interesting, now that I am older, that I have more patience with and enjoy the silliness kids bring. I love how they ask two hundred questions a day. I love that they say exactly what is on their minds. And I love that they know if you love them or not.

My Cousin and his beautiful Wife have two boys. Big G is my buddy and Little G, just so happens, to really like my Husband! What another very cool coincidence that again makes my heart smile. Kid’s pick their people and I am so thankful to be able to have a part in their lives. I enjoy watching them grow into their own personalities and it is a very cool experience to witness.

I am so thankful that my Cousins have allowed me to be a small part of their new growing families. I think it is great that we can keep our connections from childhood into our adulthood and our families tight. We do not have a large family and as I grow older I realize the importance of cherishing my family relationships and doing what I can to keep us close.

Having a role as “Auntie Em” has become one of my very favorite experiences in life and a blessing I did not expect. Don’t get me wrong, I like kids, but I did not have the time to really enjoy them in my younger years. I feel lucky now, that I can at this time in my life.

I grew up with some amazing Aunties and I would like to be the same resource for my little buddies!

What unexpected life experiences make your heart sing with Joy?! I would love to hear from you!

Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

EmyforHouse.com

@emyminzel

@EmyforHouse15A

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

Resistance to Change…

Is it, self-sabotage?

Change is scary even when it is planned. The unknown of what lies ahead, gives our imagination an opportunity to show us just how creative you can really be. When I am scared but excited, I tend to imagine a beneficial outcome. But when I am just plain scared, the imagined outcome tends to be not so great. I do think that the more energy I put into imagining a ‘good’ result, the more likely it is that I get one.

Do you know why? I do. It is because my thoughts direct my actions. When I am fearful, I tend to make reserved choices and keep myself small, while at the same time being ready to fight at any given moment. I am on edge with myself and the people I encounter in my life when I am fearful. I have realized this is not the energy I wish to share with the world.

Instead I have chosen to look at life as an adventure in which my attitude, my imagination and my state of mind really do manifest the outcome I desire. When I am scared, yet excited about the direction I am headed, I can decide to make the best of the day and choose to bring good energy to my experiences. I can decide with my everyday choices where I direct my energy and what kind of energy I am emitting.

I can choose to be kind and inquisitive when I encounter people or situations unfamiliar to me. I can choose to believe in the good in the world around me. I can choose to know that the path that lies ahead of me is exactly where I am supposed to be. I can choose to do my best through my everyday actions to make the day enjoyable or not…

So, even though I tend to be somewhat resistant to change, I know that nothing is permanent in our lives. We can get comfortable and stuck in our ruts that do not challenge us, which is a nice rest from constantly striving or doing. Yet, when you hear the call of your heart, those ruts can be hard to get out of. It takes a great deal of effort, persistence and determination to get going. Which is a lot of work; gosh darn it! Why can’t change just be easy?

I believe change can be easy when I accept it and let it be the divine guidance it was meant to be. But, no… that’s just not how I roll somedays. Somedays I get upset about the changes forced upon my daily life that may require more effort and energy then I really want to give at that particular time or day. I can be as stubborn as my beloved bulldog Gus about change and I know it. Especially if I had planned to do something and life has different ideas for me.

Stacy and I had been talking about our common goals, that we are trying to accomplish together, yet we do them in our own ways. Publishing our book series is one of our goals, but we also share our life goals together. When I am thinking of making a change to my diet, or my lifestyle, I call my friend Stacy and we talk about it like sisters do. We process outcomes together, we offer support and personal experiences that we think will help each other.

Recently I had told her of a personal goal that I was not sure I would be able to accomplish but I know in my heart would be for the best. She said “Okay! Let’s do this together so we can support each!” this showing of sisterly support made me feel like “Yes. We can do this!” Because we will have each other to talk to, when the test of life and time come around like it always does.

The very next day after this conversation we saw a statement that stated “Resistance to change, is really self-sabotage”

When I think about it, I think it is true. Can you imagine if we all still acted like we did in high school while well into your forties?! I know a few people like this. People who like how it was, people who have learned all they needed to learn (or knew it all at age 18) so they feel they are just fine, thanks. Some folks just choose not to grow or change! We must learn to accept that, but we do not have to do the same.

Although, in my experience, the people who refuse to grow get very uncomfortable watching you grow. And that’s okay. I have decided I will not dim my light because it is shining in their eyes. I have experienced more of what life has to offer by taking risks and allowing myself to grow and change. I would not change any of the challenges of change that life has asked of me. It has made me into who I am today.

You know what? I really like who I am! I love that I have been changed by adventure, challenges, heartbreak, motherhood, friendship, and even my career path that all got me here today. My journey has softened my edges, given me patience and wisdom to know that I always have something to learn. I have learned that my resistance to change is futile and just makes the journey harder on me then it has to be! I have learned that if I want something new in my life I must do and accomplish new things and apply new effort.

So, I agree, resistance to change can be self-sabotage that keeps me from learning the lessons I need to grow. I don’t have to change all at once, I can usually choose to change in my own way, at my own pace. What makes change easier for me is putting my creative imagination to good use by expecting and acting in ways that will foster a favorable outcome. I can choose to make the most of it or go kicking and screaming the whole way. But, purposely putting out good vibes into the direction I am going, seems to make it a more comfortable journey.

Shine your light and vibe on, my adventurous friends! You CAN do this, and you GOT this! I believe in you.

Adventure awaits! Don’t be scared, be excited!

 

Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

EmyforHouse.com

@emyminzel

@EmyforHouse15A

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

 

Photo credit by International Impact / Google Images