Grieving life experiences

Mourning doesn’t only happen when you lose a loved one.

It never occurred to me that I would mourn the loss of the election. I don’t mean that I am morning the loss itself. I am okay that I did not ‘win’. I am very proud of myself for overcoming my fears, being brave, putting my hat in the ring and making a strong run. Yet after the election day came and went, my life as I had been living it, abruptly came to a halt.

It feels like losing a close relationship that I had been in for over 8 months. I very much enjoyed the work, the learning, the events, but most of all the people who I spent a great deal of time with. After the election it was like my job was terminated and I sat wondering “What do I do now?!”

It was during a soulful conversation with my Adventure Sister, Stacy, that she mentioned I may be grieving to process my emotions. Stacy is a hospice nurse, so she knows a thing or two about how grieving may look.

Five stages of grief are; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

As thankful as I am for this whole experience, I still spent the week of Thanksgiving in a fog of sadness. The week before that I was bargaining, debating and trying to convince myself of the reasons why I would or would not run again. These weeks after the election have me following the same pattern and stages of the grief process.

When Stacy mentioned her observation, the light in my head said “ding!” I knew she was on to something. We traded Reiki energy healing, and this seemed to help me push through some of these emotions. Yet still I feel a slightly depressed.

Mourning can happen when you move, lose a job, end a friendship, suffer great financial loss or break up in a relationship and most commonly after a death. I feel like I had a break up of sorts. For me, the experiences of being a candidate were much like having a relationship with my community, that I love so much, that just seemed to end.

The experiences as a candidate were life changing, uplifting and heart opening. Very much like a new romance or job that you thought was ‘the one’ yet finding out that nope… it was not. I feel extremely sad that it is over. I did not expect this emotional conflict that has shook up my soul. I certainly didn’t expect this much emotion over all!

I believe I am going through this grieving process because of perceived loss of the relationships, the activity and the job in which I truly felt was a part of my purpose. But most of all, I believe I am mourning the derailment of my path.

It has me second guessing “Is this really my purpose or an adventure meant to lead me someplace I don’t see yet?”

The logical part of my brain says, “You are not alone, many others tried very hard and still lost as well. You ran because your soul guided you to this and you wanted too! It was a life experience not a destination. You did your best and most of all you enjoyed the journey. The purpose of life, is to enjoy the journey, learn and grow. You should feel blessed to have this amazing experience!”

I know deep down I am blessed. It is not over. And I must keep, keeping on!

I still have so much to accomplish. I know I must get back in the ring because I still have the desire in my soul to help my community in some way. Maybe it isn’t in the way I thought it might be? That is okay too.

I also know it is fine to take some time to heal myself; mind, body and spirit. I will fight the sadness that sometimes slips into my mind by working to replace those thoughts with thankfulness.

I know that my life is great! I am blessed with a wonderful family and career I love. But for some reason I feel there is more for me to do. Maybe it is the uncertainty of my path that keeps me searching for the next adventure? I believe we don’t escape any huge life experience without learning some lessons.

Maybe this feeling is part of the learning process as well? I’m hoping these emotions may guide me to where I can make a positive difference in myself and my community. I must be thankful for the whole experience, beginning to end.

Maybe that is another lesson? To just be thankful for it all.  Before you know it, it may be gone. Be grateful for the experience, the love, the relationships, the fear, the uncomfortable parts, the scary parts, the adventure of it all, the whole time you showed up to experience life! Be thankful.

How do “you” get back in the ring after a loss? What are the things you do to help you feel better on ‘down’ days? Please feel free to share your experiences and advice so that it may help others know they are not alone!

To all the souls who struggle for a smile once in a while; I see you and I love you.

*Photo taken in Tofte, MN on Lake Superior

Wishing you joy, love and blessings,

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

If you need help please reach out to:

suicidepreventionlifeline.org

1-800-273-8255

What being an Adventure Sister means

Being an Adventure Sister means that I am someone who goes on adventures and also inspires adventure, it means I enjoy encouraging others to inspire themselves. My dream is to motivate others to feel the same sense of delight and satisfaction I feel when doing something I find exciting and invigorating by getting off the couch and jumping into my life. This reminds me of a saying that I love. “The only difference between, fear and excitement is, your attitude about it.” I find this to be true. There are many times I’ve felt frightened, and excited at the same time. The difference in my experience was decided by my attitude while going through the journey.

I became an Adventure Sister when I realized that I was deeply moved by my experiences in nature. I was hooked on the feeling of personal accomplishments, doing things I’ve never done before, addicted to the feeling of pride that adventure provided! Was it the adrenalin of boldly sauntering into the forest of unknown activities and occupants? Was it the excitement of mysterious endeavors and events that kept us on our toes? Not knowing everything that’s going to happen seemed to lend itself to the magic of synchronicities that appear to motivate our fun outcomes.

Adventure Sister Stacy and I have survived waves that were so large when we dipped our paddles into the water it only hit air, then wildly splashed inside the canoe. We’ve battled waves that muted each of our strokes, so powerful they pulled our canoe to the middle of the large lake no matter how hard we tried to keep closer to shore. We’ve survived athletic feats we were in no way prepared for. We’ve even accidentally popped a gas tank on a rental car in Florida, that leaked so profusely the firemen said, it likely could have been very dangerous. Yet we continue to make it home safely and in one piece each time we dared to be brave. I feel like I should give a shout out and giant expression of gratitude to my guardian angels and guides right now, they’ve helped through some wild rides.

Who you choose to accompany you does matter when on an adventure, and Stacy is great because she doesn’t fuss while working as hard as we needed to. We were able to turn hard-core camping excursions into spiritual adventures that helped us gain confidence in ourselves while building trusting supportive relationship with each other. We grew our spiritual practices simultaneously which became a special type of bond like the one lots of people cherish at church. Only our church nature. It is a blessing to have someone to help you grow in meaningful directions, and inspires you to be a better you. The bond of sisterhood that Stacy and I have founded in each other through our expeditions together has added depth that seem to make our adventures more enjoyable and meaningful.

You just never know where you’ll end up on an adventure, that’s what so exciting about it. Leaving your schedule open to be being able to take that invitation, or the scenic route on vacation can be one of the best ways to find excitement. Going off the beaten path leads us to have new experiences lets us see things I would not have if everything was scheduled on a strict itinerary. Support is essential to a joyful adventure, its important bring someone who you like and trust. It helped that I felt supported by my family who had my back when going out of my comfort zone.

I want to inspire others to bring excitement and play back into their lives, by telling them them how I found Joy in my life, that just so happened to be inspired by adventure. What I find exciting may not be to you, or vice versa, I am not recommending you bungee jump off a bridge if you are frightened of heights. Or go ahead if you want to be courageous! I found the feeling of honor in doing something I never thought I could is one of the best feelings to be in my body for. Not all adventures have to be dangerous, thrill seeking events. Finding courage to write that book, to have a baby (or not) to change careers, or make any change that makes you feel good about yourself are adventures. It’s all in the way you look at them.

I believe with all my heart, you’re never too old, too young or too anything to do something that makes your heart sing. It makes your heart sing for a reason, because that’s your song to sing! I want to inspire the bravery in others to find courage you need to sing your song by being fearless in pursing my own unique melody. To be an Adventure Sister means to inspire greatness in all of life’s adventures, from babies to grandbabies, from college to retirement and everything in between or after, it is never too late to feel great!

What makes you feel brave? What makes you feel proud? Are you an Adventure Sister too?

I would love to hear what inspires you to inspire others!

 

Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

The Adventure Sisters on Instagram
@adventuresistersbwca