Grieving life experiences

Mourning doesn’t only happen when you lose a loved one.

It never occurred to me that I would mourn the loss of the election. I don’t mean that I am morning the loss itself. I am okay that I did not ‘win’. I am very proud of myself for overcoming my fears, being brave, putting my hat in the ring and making a strong run. Yet after the election day came and went, my life as I had been living it, abruptly came to a halt.

It feels like losing a close relationship that I had been in for over 8 months. I very much enjoyed the work, the learning, the events, but most of all the people who I spent a great deal of time with. After the election it was like my job was terminated and I sat wondering “What do I do now?!”

It was during a soulful conversation with my Adventure Sister, Stacy, that she mentioned I may be grieving to process my emotions. Stacy is a hospice nurse, so she knows a thing or two about how grieving may look.

Five stages of grief are; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

As thankful as I am for this whole experience, I still spent the week of Thanksgiving in a fog of sadness. The week before that I was bargaining, debating and trying to convince myself of the reasons why I would or would not run again. These weeks after the election have me following the same pattern and stages of the grief process.

When Stacy mentioned her observation, the light in my head said “ding!” I knew she was on to something. We traded Reiki energy healing, and this seemed to help me push through some of these emotions. Yet still I feel a slightly depressed.

Mourning can happen when you move, lose a job, end a friendship, suffer great financial loss or break up in a relationship and most commonly after a death. I feel like I had a break up of sorts. For me, the experiences of being a candidate were much like having a relationship with my community, that I love so much, that just seemed to end.

The experiences as a candidate were life changing, uplifting and heart opening. Very much like a new romance or job that you thought was ‘the one’ yet finding out that nope… it was not. I feel extremely sad that it is over. I did not expect this emotional conflict that has shook up my soul. I certainly didn’t expect this much emotion over all!

I believe I am going through this grieving process because of perceived loss of the relationships, the activity and the job in which I truly felt was a part of my purpose. But most of all, I believe I am mourning the derailment of my path.

It has me second guessing “Is this really my purpose or an adventure meant to lead me someplace I don’t see yet?”

The logical part of my brain says, “You are not alone, many others tried very hard and still lost as well. You ran because your soul guided you to this and you wanted too! It was a life experience not a destination. You did your best and most of all you enjoyed the journey. The purpose of life, is to enjoy the journey, learn and grow. You should feel blessed to have this amazing experience!”

I know deep down I am blessed. It is not over. And I must keep, keeping on!

I still have so much to accomplish. I know I must get back in the ring because I still have the desire in my soul to help my community in some way. Maybe it isn’t in the way I thought it might be? That is okay too.

I also know it is fine to take some time to heal myself; mind, body and spirit. I will fight the sadness that sometimes slips into my mind by working to replace those thoughts with thankfulness.

I know that my life is great! I am blessed with a wonderful family and career I love. But for some reason I feel there is more for me to do. Maybe it is the uncertainty of my path that keeps me searching for the next adventure? I believe we don’t escape any huge life experience without learning some lessons.

Maybe this feeling is part of the learning process as well? I’m hoping these emotions may guide me to where I can make a positive difference in myself and my community. I must be thankful for the whole experience, beginning to end.

Maybe that is another lesson? To just be thankful for it all.  Before you know it, it may be gone. Be grateful for the experience, the love, the relationships, the fear, the uncomfortable parts, the scary parts, the adventure of it all, the whole time you showed up to experience life! Be thankful.

How do “you” get back in the ring after a loss? What are the things you do to help you feel better on ‘down’ days? Please feel free to share your experiences and advice so that it may help others know they are not alone!

To all the souls who struggle for a smile once in a while; I see you and I love you.

*Photo taken in Tofte, MN on Lake Superior

Wishing you joy, love and blessings,

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

If you need help please reach out to:

suicidepreventionlifeline.org

1-800-273-8255

Week 3 of 90 day meditation challenge

Week 3 – Turns out I am not excellent at making time to meditate. I see how people get frustrated with guru’s who tell you how easy it is. Of course, it is easy to do. What is not easy is finding the time to truly do it!

I did take some time yesterday over my lunch break to meditate for about 15 whole minutes. I tried my friend Stacy’s mantra of “I easily release what no longer serves me.” I felt lighter and I felt emotions move as tears rolled out the side of my eyes.

Yesterday was a very emotional day. I felt defeated after a long day of work that is not valued. I know that this is a feeling many people experience at one time or another in their lives. I know a lot of women who call that everyday Mom Life. I can usually take those days in stride. I don’t need an applause for my work, and most the time I don’t even need to be appreciated although it is always nice when it is.

Yesterday I found out people who haven’t stood in my shoes were making judgements out loud, discounting my efforts which I found to be a slap in the face and very disheartening. I began to wonder why I even tried or if I should continue to keep trying?

Knowing in my heart that I am doing 100% more than the nobody else who wanted to step up and try. All my effort, time, and energy were feeling futile and unappreciated and by someone who is supposed to be on my side. Which made me feel crummy, sad and frustrated.

I needed to meditate so I could clear this negative energy and melancholy. I ended up shedding tears and letting the feeling pass.

It was just a reaction to my feelings, I know it was not my truth, so I released this bad feeling of betrayal with meditation. I know that I am working hard, and I am doing my best. I won’t give up because I know what it is I am working so hard for. I know that people say thoughtless things all the time with only one side of the story to express opinions about. I have done it, it’s a human thing to do.

Anywhoooo… I did not meditate every day this week. What I did do was use meditation as the tool that I needed to help me move those big emotions on a really bad day. This was one of the crappiest days I have had in quite a while and meditation helped me move through those emotions in a real and healthy way.

All in all, I like that when I needed to reset I have a tool within me that I can utilize for my greater good. I did not have to go anywhere, it did not cost me one cent and I can use meditation as a holistic remedy at any time.

Although the challenge was to meditate every day, somedays I just do not remember, or I only had time for a very short attempt that just does not do what it is intended to do. It did give me practice for when I truly needed to let that shit go.

Does anyone else use meditation to help bring you back to basics of life, to remind you what is real and what is your truth? It was a very healing meditation even if it was the only one I accomplished this week.

I hope for you the best today and every day.

Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@emyminzel

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

 

www.savetheboundarywaters.org