Do you ever dream big and aim for the stars doing something you really want too? Then when you start to take the steps. It seems that once in a while, your self-doubt whispers in the back of your mind. “Who do you think you are?! What makes you think you can do this?”
It’s like there’s a grumpy angel sitting on my shoulder, asking me. “Do you remember where you come from? Let me remind you of all these limiting the beliefs you picked up along the way. Girl, it’s me. Your debilitating doubt, reminding you to watch yourself! Who gave you permission to succeed anyway?! Certainly not me.”
This sounds so silly to write it out and then read. Yet, I genuinely believe I am not the only person to fight these limiting thoughts. It has become a habit for me to write about life lessons and roadblocks to process them. As far as coping mechanisms go, writing is my healthiest. Even then, sometimes, I feel like who cares? Why do I feel this pull and desire to share such personal information?
I believe it’s not that I need someone to care per se. What I need is to feel like I am helping someone else. Isn’t that peculiar? I am a certified massage therapist, I volunteer in my community, and I have a passion for protecting the environment. Yet, with all the action I take to “help” others, I still feel that there is more to do. Then I get frustrated when I don’t see it happening fast enough.
I have this pull to write what I live; in case someone needs to hear they are not alone. Selfishly it feels like I need to write to help myself too. I just listened to a song that said. “Take your time. Life’s lessons are not learned in a day.” How powerful this short phrase is at the exact moment when I seem to be in a hurry to know it all and do it all; like, RIGHT NOW!
Even though I know in my heart that life is a beautiful journey meant to be savored and enjoyed one day at a time. Apparently, I have the patience of Hulu on pause, because when I feel my effort isn’t progressing somewhere fast enough, I get down on myself and just quit moving. That jerk voice in the back of mind kicks in its two cents and asks. “So, this is it then?! Nice try. Remember who you are, sit down and shut up.” Unfortunately, lately, I have been complying.
What an a$$Hole I am to myself sometimes hey?! I mean really, I don’t talk to my friends like this. Why do I speak to myself this way? Where does this icky habit of doubt come from? I honestly think it comes from my lack of patience and just maybe… a buried fear of success. This also seems silly when I write it. Who fears success?!
Most people I know, try every day to succeed on their personal paths. I guarantee they have doubts as well, but do they handle them better than I do? There are days I feel like throwing in the towel on all of it. That dark angel on my shoulder tells me maybe I should just go get a regular job, so I don’t have to worry about doing the books, finding clients, and building my business.
Why do I volunteer my time instead of crawling into bed with a good book and my dog? Why do I pursue politics that get me all riled up, instead of working more on balancing my Zen?! Why do I stifle my creativity because I fear judgment from those who do not create themselves? Why, do I want to have it ALL?! Is what I am working towards even attainable?
Also, why do I have so many questions about life? I hope this is coming across in a friendly and relatable way. There must be others out there who struggle with doubt when pursuing dreams and goals. Are there other people who can relate to my frustration with the pace of life when you feel like you’ve been working so hard but just to feel as if your spinning wheels?
Listen, I believe if every one of us put our problems in a pile, most of us would choose to keep our own instead of trade. This frustration I feel is not a problem, it is an obstacle I know I can navigate. Yet, it feels like I need to a little help to push through right about now. I think we are all in this world together, so I’d like to ask for your help.
What do you do or tell yourself to keep your head up and hopes high? What would you tell your best friend asking this same advice on this topic? I am a fan of sharing sisterhood support, and I’d love to hear from you today!
P.s. I’d love to hear who you think you are! And what obstacle are you working to overcome right now!
Sending the intention of encouragement and self-love to you!
Wishing you the luck you need today,
Love, Emy Minzel
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Stacy Crep ~
Photo Credit – Emy Minzel – Slim Lake, Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness – Ely, Minnesota