Category: #lifelessons

#lifelessons, #signs, Innerwork

Trusting the changes ~

emyminzel

There are times in life when you are required to take the advice you give to others. When my friends come to me about life changes and significant concerns, my advice is almost always. “Trust it.” But what if you don’t want change? What if you were perfectly fine living your life the way you were? That’s when change is not welcome and when we may protest or fight the inevitability of change. Recently, I’ve discovered I am so very tired of fighting, and so I choose to trust and just let go.

The life I live is magical and blessed yet as we know, situations change, and so does life. Though I had a great time in the years I’ve spent chasing writing dreams and nurturing big aspirations; circumstances have made it clear I have to make changes that will seemingly impede my pursuits. Unfortunately, this turn of events seems a lot like a failure and feels like I’ve been stabbed straight in my ego, Ouchy! But I am a big girl, and I know I got this.

Maybe I don’t have to change as much as I think I do? I know I do not have to give up on my dreams! What I do know is that it is crystal clear my goals will not come to fruition in the way that I thought they would. It just took me a bit to grasp this new reality. I know, I will figure out a way to stay authentic to myself and to make time to dedicate making my dreams a reality. This inevitable change is weird and a little scary when it comes out of the blue.

This is where I know I must trust this change of circumstances not only in my writing goals but my professional life as well. I am second guessing my political aspirations and even my day job… So basically, my whole life is up in the air, and I find this jarring and yet also a little exciting! Thankfully my relationships and home life, are still holding strong, giving me confidence that I will be just fine. This turn of events is just part of my own adventure in life!

It is no coincidence that I keep pulling the Tower card out in my tarot readings. This card holds an image of a castle on fire and crumbling to the ground. Although it may scare others, I know it does not necessarily have to be a bad sign. It just means I must adjust and take the opportunity to revise what was not working for me. It’s an opportunity to rebuild a way of life that better suits who I am now. It means I’ve outgrown my situation and it’s time to change.

I know I must follow my own advice and believe this change is necessary because there are other things I want and need in life too. To make progress on getting what I need, I now see that I must make changes to get them! Don’t they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again then expecting different results? Maybe I was too ‘in the soup’ to see that I have fallen into a rut.

I am hoping this is just the Universe/God helping to lift me to more solid ground and to get my life back onto the path I am meant to be on. All this change can be a great thing if I let it. I still have a great life! Sure, I could choose to kick and scream, whine, and cry while pieces of my old ways and dreams burn in front of me. Okay, who am I kidding? I have done some of that too… But I can also choose to look at this as an opportunity to rebuild my life in a way that fits who I am now and where I want to be in the future!

Attitude plays a big part in how we perceive our days, and the days make up our life! I do have a choice in how I decide to deal with this hand I’ve been dealt. I choose to be grateful that this change is not brought on by tragedy only changing circumstances, and that those around me are safe and sound, and so am I.

I can decide to look up at the heavens and say. “I trust you to bring me a life even better then I could ever imagine!” So that is precisely what I am going to do.

I choose to take my own advice and trust this change.

I sincerely hope my outlook helps you sort through changes too.

Sending love and blessings to you and yours,

Emy Minzel 

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

Photo of the Tower Tarot card in my Sun and Moon Tarot deck by Vanessa Decort

#lifelessons, #teamwork, Innerwork

Good talk, honey.

emyminzel

This past weekend I was lucky to spend time with my husband not doing anything but enjoying his company. Somedays it’s nice not to have a full schedule of to do’s, as he’s my favorite person to do nothing with! This weekend gave us time to catch up with each other as we sat under the porch while it rained and talked. We shared a blanket, deep thoughts, and held hands. It was a moment that brought us both contentment. We just enjoyed being together while watching a storm pass.

Holding on to each other while letting the storm blow over made me contemplative. Isn’t this a perfect metaphor for marriage? Having your best friend by your side while the weather or life rages around us is a blessing. I see how lucky I am to have him helping me through the toughest times. Truthfully, there are times when I forget just how fortunate I am. The Universe brings me beautiful relationships, a career I enjoy, and a life with freedom to be me.

I have found it’s during the stormy days that tend to make the most meaningful conversations and form deeper connections. This weekend was no different. During our peaceful rainy day together, my husband, Jason and I found ourselves in philosophical discussions. We discussed a recent rocky spell in our life, and how going through it so separately made us realize what we could lose. We saw how eventually it helped us grow closer and more thankful for each other.

I find it not so funny that we seemed to have to get so close to losing each other before we realized just how much we love and need another. Has any such situation happened to you? When something terrible happens, it decidedly changes your perspective on life from that moment forward. It could be a tragic event that changes you almost immediately, or in our case, it took us years to go through this lesson together.

Isn’t this how we get ‘experience’ and how people grow wisdom? It’s also how we grow empathy, fear, and doubts. It is why people have a crisis of faith, life crisis, or breakdowns that alter who we once were. My best friend just went through something just like this. Life changing moments and lessons that agitate you from the inside and show us what spills out. Do we trust our guidance after our foundation has been shaken? What do we think when we don’t know what to think anymore?

Sometimes life is hard, adulting isn’t as fun as it looks on TV and our lives aren’t as perfect as we’d like them to be. It was nice to take a beat and sit on the front porch holding hands with the man I love. I realized just how thankful and blessed I am to have such a beautiful family life. It reminded me to stop my complaining and nitpicking about my husband or anyone else! I have learned to be grateful for the man he is and the loved ones that put up with me!

After all, I am no saint, I can be challenging and demanding, and he loves me anyway. Although I am thankful, sometimes, I see myself complaining about my blessings when they feel heavy. Adventure Sister Stacy wears a bracelet that helps remind her to count her blessing instead of her complaints. Recently she gifted me two of these bracelets. She gave me two because she said. “They break easily, or I complain a lot.” Now I understand what she means.

It’s easy to get in the habit of voicing our complaint because when we are vocal of our blessings, we don’t want to seem like we are bragging. We don’t want others to think we are boastful, so we diminish our blessings of a great life by complaining about the small stuff. This ‘rough patch’ ended up shining a spotlight on the value of our perfectly imperfect marriage.

As my husband and I poured our souls into our conversation and the moments of peace, we both realized the blessing of our love and the life we share. I am better with him, and he is better with me because we are a team. There is nobody else I trust as much to have my back, or I want on my team more than my husband. He helps me grow, loves me as I am, and makes me crazy in all the best ways that make life enjoyable. That’s family for you.

I just wanted to drop you a note to remind you and myself, that it is okay to speak of the good stuff as passionately as we voice our displeasure. I don’t know about you, but I need to hear the good that is happening in the world today. Please tell me about your baby’s first step, or how your youngest son graduated high school if you won a ton at Bingo or how grateful you are to have a good day!

Then, let me tell you what a great guy my husband is, and just how lucky I feel to be me. I am so thankful for my husband, my family, and my friends, that I cannot even contain my feels. Love swells in my heart and slips out my eyes for the blessing of my imperfectly perfect life. I am also thankful for my blessings in disguise; I am grateful for the blessings that stayed even when I forgot to be thankful.

It’s remarkable what I learn sitting on the porch in the rain holding hands with my husband: good talk, honey, good talk.

Sending love, blessings, and joy,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

#lifelessons, #signs

Journey to finding my missing joy –

emyminzel

Do you have experienced those days when everything seems to be a little off? The events that happen are bothersome but not necessarily bad, just annoying persistent incidents peppering you though out the day. I’ve been dropping things a lot, having minor accidents and there was a great deal of miscommunication happening as well. Emails, texts, even verbal expressions seem to be just a bit off, enough to confuse.

Every little thing seems just to be annoying me and able to get under my skin. Recently I’ve had several pieces of bad news hit very close to home. These happenings have put my ‘off days’ into perspective and make me thankful the worst thing that happened to me personally, was falling off the couch while watering a hanging plant. Just call me Grace!

Thankfully none of these occurances have been too rough to handle, and that’s a blessing. Yet this news has made me very contemplative. After weeks of it, I find myself looking up to the heavens and ask. “What the heck?!” It feels as if getting through life has been like pushing a boulder uphill.

Now, I don’t mind hard work or getting my hands dirty when my heart is behind the task. So metaphorically pushing my boulder of life uphill is something I understand that must happen occasionally. Especially when duties I work so hard at benefit the goals I am trying to manifest to fruition. Worky, work! Busy bee! That’s me.

As I hear pieces of bad news floating around me and affecting others I love, I have started to look within and purposely count and appreciate my blessings. I believe life is doing its best to reveal what that needs to change in my life. My days have been full of working, cleaning, working, sleeping, working, eating, worry and more working. Though I have been working a great deal and I enjoy my work, it’s still work!

I feel as if I am missing fun, laughter, happiness, and joy in my life. I have not made connection, play or love a priority these days, and it has always been something that can be put off for later. If I don’t catch myself allowing this behavior, it seems to me like my life starts to reflect this, and before I know it, I turn into a downer! I do not like this one bit!

I honestly cannot remember the last time I belly laughed or felt truly happy. As they say, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” This sentiment is precisely how I’ve been feeling and acting. Do you ever feel this way at times? Even though I believe life is to be enjoyed and lived fully, I have not been doing so great at it. What needs to change is the amount of effort I put towards organizing and allowing joy, play, and fun!

Although I know that happiness is something you create for yourself, I think it’s a good idea to ask my loved ones to join me on my journey to finding more joy. After all, what supports happiness more than sharing time with your favorite people? Making time for myself and my family has a way of filling my soul and lifting my energy and attitude about life. How about you?

All the news I hear and as I witness loved ones struggling, it has me remembering to counting my blessings and saying. “Thank you for this day.” The minute I open my eyes in the morning. I’ve started wearing my prayer beads again, each time I notice them, I say the same simple prayer of “Thank you.” It’s a reminder for myself to be grateful for this life I’ve been blessed with.

Sometimes I find it’s just the energy I bring to any activity that makes it seem fun. Turning exercise into a nature hike with my daughter and our dog, Hank is a great way to add bonding time. These simple heart-centered connections help bring joy into my days. I am going to work on re-directing my focus and energy on my blessings. These events and news have shaken me up and have helped to reorganize my priorities to their proper order.

When life gets heavy, I’ve found that is when it’s time to count your blessings, add family, friends, and fun. I know it is up to me to put myself into situations that will help lift my spirit. These things that help us find our smile again are as personal and specific to everyone as our taste buds, and I know my favorite flavors of fun! I hear the messages loud and clear. It’s time to cook up a life that feeds my heart and my spirit!

I have decided to embark on a new journey to add joy to my life and remove what does not. I have set my intention for this summer. I will call this 2019 journey, The Summer of Love, Sun and Fun! I want to reconnect and strengthen bonds. I choose to laugh, play and truly enjoy the people in my life that make it so great.

What do you say? Would you like to join me?!

What are the ways you put play, fun, and laughter into your everyday life? I’d love to hear your suggestions!

Sending love, blessings, and joy,

Emy Minzel

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

https://stacycrep.com

#lifelessons, #teamwork, Innerwork

Mirror Mirror on the wall…

emyminzel

Who’s the most stubborn of them all?

Have you heard of the psychological concept called mirroring? It is something people do subconsciously when communicating with each other. Sometimes it helps people seem charming, sociable and friendly. Other times, when we see something in others that we do ourselves but aren’t aware of, it can rub us the wrong way. It will change the way you perceive someone on a subliminal level, both in a good and bad way.

Sometimes we will mimic body languages like smiling, crossing our legs or arms while having a conversation. This involuntary movement helps us connect on a personal level beyond our words. I have heard, that when you notice or perceive an undesirable characteristic in others, it is because you possess the same trait yourself. If you do not like this quality about yourself, you are not going to like it in another person.

Most of the time we do not even know we are mirroring others, or see ourselves in another, although it is a very human attribute. Stacy and I recently had the experience of mirroring each other with our strong wills. I know who she is. I love it that she is strong-willed, determined, driven, and will tell me how she feels even if it is hard. I find it a giant blessing to have a good friend who wears her crown as proudly as I like too! I love these qualities, and we mirror each other in this way.

We have a lot of things in common and robust will power is just one of them. But as you may have guessed, if we turn our willfulness and face each other instead of the world… Well… “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who’s the most stubborn of them all?” Our Boss Queen Crowns get lock horned into a stronghold, and there we are. Crowns crossed and face to face; mirroring our sister.

Well, what do you do then? Since Stacy is a dear friend of mine, I decided its best to take some time and stepped back to contemplate how I was going to handle this delicate matter. I do not want to hurt her but… “I’m right, and she’s wrong.” I know this isn’t true and can guarantee Stacy was thinking the same thing about me! Truth is somewhere in the middle; now it was up to us to find common ground.

Had we not realized we were indeed mirroring each other’s attributes or that we put our friendship before our stubbornness, we would probably still be crown locked. I could easily see how this type of mirroring could be damaging to a relationship or even an everyday encounter if not recognized. I think this type of thing happens a great deal in the real world, and how we chose to handle the situation is vital to the outcome.

I think it’s easy to write off a stranger, co-worker or acquaintance for the rest of your life if you feel strongly that you are in the right. Family and close friends are a different story though, you tend to let love override righteousness in favor of peace in most mirroring situations. This happens in mother/daughter or father/son relationships a lot. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree is another way we say it to compare similarities.

Resemblances do not stop us from disagreeing in those moments of discord. What I love about my soul sister and myself is now the same thing that is causing chaos. Mirroring can be very helpful if you are willing to see yourself as others see you. You get the chance to see how it feels to have your behavior inflicted upon yourself and see how you like it.

It can be uncomfortable because growth is often painful. I mean. How, dare she use MY attributes against me?! (Insert sarcasm here.) Seeing myself in my best friends’ actions was awkward. Yet because it was my friend, my response softened, and I did my best to reign in the Boss Queen inside, that likes to call the shots.

I bring up this mystical communication we call mirroring because it’s not talked about much, yet it is used in everyday interactions between all humans. Our exchanges with others very much depends on what kind of energy you are bringing to the situation before you. At work, school, relationships, social media, driving, or at the dinner table. What you put out is what we get back. Attitudes are contagious, so hopefully, we are all doing our best to share sunshine and not BS.

When we see something in another we do not like, maybe it is a sign to go within and fix it in ourselves. Even if we don’t know how to correct our behavior, even noticing our tendencies, is a great way to get to know yourself. I will use this knowledge to temper how I may react in the next similar situation. I think that is how we mature and become the people we want to be. I love using my experiences to grow. I chose to make small changes in myself and do better next time.

If ever I find myself crown locked with another Boss Queen, whether she’s my friend or not. I will stop and see myself in her. I will do my best to practice empathy and really listen to her message. Sometimes, friends and family fight. It is life. But I’ve found it is my willingness to be respectful and negotiate that really allows me to move through to a resolution, that is kind and acceptable for everyone.

This week the mirror showed me a reflection of the Boss Queen inside, getting crown-locked with my soul sister. “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who’s the most stubborn of us all?”

I decided I valued my friendship more than my righteousness. Now I take this lesson and self-awareness into the future with me. I have learned to appreciate the human who mirrors you. It’s a message to help you see yourself. They may be a reflection of you.

Love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

*Photo credit – Pure Heart Memoir

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Google images link – https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&biw=1525&bih=706&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=uRnDXLL2L8qEsAXdkKYY&q=mirror+mirror+on+the+wall&oq=mirror+mirror&gs_l=img.1.0.0l10.100080.104684..107090…1.0..3.114.2583.19j8……2….1..gws-wiz-img…..0..0i8i30j35i39j0i67j0i10.-_6N8urCGJc#imgrc=gNhNyivjh1xgrM:

#lifelessons, #spiritual, Innerwork

Is your inner child calling?

emyminzel

I recently reflected on how I sometimes create my own drama, asking myself, “What part of me generates this conflict, and why?” I’m fascinated by personality traits, especially when I surprise myself with my own actions. While I’m sure a psychologist could explain these traits in clinical terms, I’m not a doctor, so I won’t play one on the internet. Instead, I’ve been exploring the deeper space within me where these traits originate. I know they’re a part of me—but what part? Who are you in there, and how can I nurture us so that we don’t resort to creating drama or conflict unnecessarily?

I know I’m a bit of an odd duck, and I recognize that some may see my beliefs and ideals as utopian. I’m perfectly okay with that, because I truly believe in the goodness of humanity. I also believe that I carry the spark of life—of God—within me, just as you do. With this belief comes an understanding that I can create my own magic by manifesting a beautiful life—or, admittedly, by generating unnecessary drama. For the most part, I feel the quality of my life is within my control. I get to choose how I face each day through my attitude, actions, and reactions. I also believe that the people around us—our friends and family—hold up mirrors, allowing us to see ourselves through the circumstances life presents. These reflections are here to teach us and help us grow.

Last week, my adventure sister, Stacy Crep, and I were planning our Boundary Waters trip for this summer. We discussed our intentions for the trip and what we both hoped to gain from this deep wilderness experience. Typically, it’s just the two of us. We wander the forest as though we’re Queens in a wall-less castle, under the canopy of trees. For me, the forest feels as comforting and healing as home.

This year, we considered how meaningful it might be to share this spiritual experience with others we love. We decided to invite a couple of friends to join us. Initially, I hesitated. Deep down, I felt a little selfish. I wanted to preserve this experience as it’s always been—just the two of us. I’m someone who values close, intimate relationships far more than large groups or casual conversations about work or the weather. I’m a deep thinker, always pondering the mysteries of life, as is my soul sister, Stacy. We have a soulful connection that I cherish deeply, and I wasn’t ready to share that sacred space with others just yet.

I labeled my feelings as selfish, but upon reflection, I don’t believe they stem from selfishness at all. Instead, I think they arise from the vulnerable part of me—the inner child—who isn’t quite ready to share this time with Stacy yet. That inner voice quietly whispered, “Not yet. This time is still ours.”

About a week after Stacy and I agreed to bring others to the Boundary Waters, I found myself struggling to sleep. I lay awake, pondering the shift in my emotions about a trip that I’m usually excited for. Instead, I felt uneasy. I knew I had to honor these feelings and share them with Stacy; otherwise, I risked acting out in ways that might create unnecessary drama.

Thankfully, Stacy and I have built a friendship grounded in mutual respect. I value her deeply because we can be fully honest with each other. She understands that how I feel is just as important as how she feels. When I shared my thoughts about including others on this sacred adventure, I unintentionally triggered a reaction in Stacy. She, too, felt the pull to create conflict but chose instead to step back and see the situation for what it was: two women communicating their feelings honestly.

In our conversation, Stacy admitted that the little girl inside of her wanted to stomp her foot and say, “Fine. I’m not going then.” Her honesty struck me because I understood completely—that’s exactly what the vulnerable little girl inside of me wanted to say, too! There we were, two grown women, candidly acknowledging our vulnerabilities. That level of honesty opened the door to a deeper dialogue about honoring our true feelings. In the end, we worked together to find a compromise that felt right for both of us. The experience was liberating, and it brought us even closer.

This exchange helped me realize that I don’t always react in the most mature way. But in that realization, I’ve learned to dig deeper into my own soul. Being honest with myself about who I am on the inside allows me to validate my needs—not just project the version of myself I want others to see. When I am honest with my true self, I find it easier to approach all my relationships with authenticity and respect—not only for their needs but for my own as well. If I ignore or suppress my feelings, I tend to act out in ways that aren’t aligned with my best self.

Is this true for you, too? Do you have a part of you that screams to be heard? How does that part express itself—does it ask for help, or does it yearn for validation?

I’d love to start a conversation about this delicate subject. Do you honor the vulnerable inner child within you? Or does recognizing weakness make your ego step in and send those hurt feelings to the shadows, where they fester until they explode? Is it your inner child, or is it your ego—or perhaps even your inner child’s ego? What is that voice trying to say?

I believe it’s essential to look within ourselves for the answers we seek. I trust that we are wise beings, even when we don’t always act that way. I believe there’s a part of God within each of us—a Spirit or Soul that holds deep intuition and grace. When we’re quiet enough to listen, aware enough to ask, and willing to grow, we can tap into that wisdom. The choice to nurture it or neglect it is ultimately up to us.

 

Namaste

Emy Minzel 

https://emyminzel.com