How do we honor our inner child?

I am continuing the conversation of honoring different aspect of our personalities that we may not like to acknowledge. The inner child is one part of my personally that intrigues me, maybe because mine seems to be asking a lot of me lately. It demands I spend time doing things that I love, not just the things that the adult part of me thinks need to be done. Like work, laundry, dishes, and other insanely boring chores of life that seem to steal my precious time, keeping me preoccupied with monotony. In short, lately I have found being an ‘adult” alllll the time is horrifically boring!!! This is when I feel the tug of my inner child the most. She seems to say day after day, “Girl, there’s gotta be more to life then this! Let’s go find it!”

“Heck yes. Let’s do this!” I, answer back to that little girl who just wants to have fun.

Then my adult voices says; “Mmmmhmmm sure, right after you vacuum.”

Gah!!!! Round and round we go, match for match, day after day. Until somethings gotta give. It’s odd to talk about playing as an adult, is it not? The adventures I have experienced with my soul sister Stacy in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area have let me feel free enough to remember how to play again. Is it only me? Or do you have days when wearing this adult version of my meat suit/body feels just plain weird?

My body gets older, my hair is graying, and there are life lines around my eyes. Yet there are times I feel so honestly inquisitive, full of love and trusting of life that I can feel the innocence of my childlike soul still shining inside. It makes me feel like playing outside, letting my hair down, and getting creative. At times I yearn to belly laugh until it’s hard to breathe and my face hurts.  Surely this is not too much to ask for?! As Stacy likes to tell me “I make the rules for MY life!”

I like the way you think sister friend. So, this is the new rule. I choose to listen to the little voice calling, I will call her my ‘inner child’ because it seems fitting. I will honor her needs because she is part of me, the best part if you really think about it. The innocence you once had as a child is still in you, it is where your hope lives. You cannot deny the importance of hope!  This is the part of us that if nurtured, will ensure we make the world a kinder place. There is no fear or violence in hope or innocent children, this part still lives in you and we can choose to nurture it.

I do this by adding play and whimsy to my life, in simple ways. I love to write, it feels like creating art and allows me to express myself. When I am with friends and family we like to play board games or interactive games at gatherings, bowling or hiking. It brings us all together to ‘play’ and build relationships with occasional team building skills mixed in. If I am by myself I might embrace the feminine part of my inner child and get girly. I will give myself a pedicure, or a facial, put on a hydrating mask and fully embrace the beauty rituals I use that make me feel good.

When in the Boundary Waters Stacy and I take blow up inner tubes put them around our waist or sit in them and float in the sun giggling and chattering away like best girlfriends do at any age. We would go ‘exploring’ in the forest on trails, hop in the canoe to find what we haven’t seen before just for the sake of pleasing our curious inner child. We often find the beauty in the simple things the Universe offers noticing the wonder of how moss can look like a teeny tiny forest all its own.

I might choose to go outside and play in the garden, well not today, its January in Minnesota. I can plan; scratch that… ‘plan’ sounds too much like work… In the winter I love to take the opportunity to dream and create a beautiful new garden lay out. I love to use color pencils and draw where the plants might go so I can visualize it. I love how each year is different and gives me the ability to get whimsical by using my artistic creativity in a fun playful way.

If I change the way I think about things, the things I think about change. I find how I feel about things is all in the attitude I bring to them. I don’t just have a garden that I must weed. I choose to see and enjoy my garden as a continuous work of art, the effort I put into it or not shows. Isn’t that true of all relationships? Even the relationships we have with ourselves?

If we choose to not nurture any part of ourselves, or relationships we cannot fully enjoy life’s offerings or its many infinite destinies. Why would fun show up for us if we are not able to embrace the richness it brings to our lives? Why deny any parts of yourself by not recognize the vulnerable part of you that needs to be heard, seen or validated in any aspect of your personality?

Aren’t the neediest parts of you the loudest and hardest to ignore anyways? Just possibly could these be the parts of ourselves that cause us to act out as not our best-self, causing unnecessary drama when you ignore it for too long? What if we tried to sooth that inner child, fulfill its needs, so we can move on from these triggers?

What’s the worst that could happen if you looked these tendencies right in the eye and asked. “What do you REALLY mean by that feeling? What do you really need?”

What if you had the courage to wait and listen to the answer? Oh boy! How exciting it could be to find out what it is you truly want and need! After all, you’re an adult now and you get to make the rules for your life. As an adult give yourself permission to admit when we just need a hug, admit when you need to feel validated and heard. It is okay to speak up when we aren’t feeling loved in a way that you can comprehend, or even if you need some attention. Your inner child is part of you, to deny it is to deny yourself.

What does your inner child ask from you? Is it to come out and play or is it demanding more? The inner child in you has plenty of hope and courage for today and the future. I can hear them calling, I know you can too. I’d love to hear your thoughts on inner child work. Feel free to comment below!

Wishing you and abundance of Love, Laughter, and Blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

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Is your inner child calling?

I recently wrote about creating  my own drama, asking what part of me is the part that creates the drama and for what reason? I am fascinated by some personality traits especially when I surprise myself with my own actions. I am sure a psychologist has medical terminology for any personality trait I could muster, but I am not a doctor, so I will not play one on the internet. I am looking for the deeper space that the personality trait comes from, I know it is part of me. But what part? Who are you in there and how can I help us so that we don’t act out by creating drama or conflict when there does not have to be.

I know that I am an odd duck, I recognize some may see my beliefs and ideals as somewhat utopian. I am okay with that, because I believe in the good of humanity. I also believe I hold the spark of life/God inside of me just like you do. With that, I believe I create my own magic by manifesting a beautiful life or creating drama for that matter. I tend to think, for the most part, the quality of life I live is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I have by choosing my attitude, actions, and reactions. I believe that our friends and family hold mirror’s up, so we may see ourselves in the circumstances life puts us in for a reason. To learn and to grow.

Last week Adventure sister Stacy Crep, and I were planning the Boundary Waters adventure for this coming summer. We talked about our intention for the trip, and what we both needed to ‘get out of’ our deep wilderness experience. Usually she and I go together just the two of us, we saunter around the forest like we are Queens under the canopy of trees in a wall-less castle. I find the forest is as comforting and healing to us as home. This year, we talked about how nice it might be to share our spiritual experience with others we love, and decided we would ask a couple others to come with us this summer.

I agreed hesitantly, deep down I was feeling a little selfish and wanted to keep this experience as we had always had it, just the two of us. I am the kind of person who prefers close intimate relationship rather than a party crowd with fluffy discussions of work and the weather. I am a deep thinker, I ponder mysterious meanings in life and so does my soul sister Stacy. We seem to ‘get’ each other and have a formed a soulful connection I have come to cherish greatly. I was just not ready to share this part of our relationship yet. I called myself ‘selfish’ yet I don’t think the intention behind this feeling was to be selfish at all, I believe it was my inner child or the vulnerable part of me saying “I am not ready to share this time with you yet.”

About a week after we had agreed to bring others to the Boundary Waters I was having a hard time sleeping. I laid awake pondering the way I was feeling about the trip I was usually excited about, now I seemed to be feeling the opposite way. I knew I had to tell Stacy how I felt to honor this feeling, or I would have acted out in a way that would probably create drama where there did not have to be any. We are both mature enough to treat each other with unfailing respect that we deserve. I appreciate having a friend who I can be fully honest with, someone who knows that how I ‘feel’ is just as important as how she ‘feels’. In telling her my thoughts about others coming on our adventure, I also spurred a reaction in Stacy that wanted to create conflict and drama had she not chosen to step back from the situation and see it for what it was. Just two girls communicating their feelings.

She admitted to me that the little girl in her wanted to stomp her foot and say “Fine. I am not going then.” I respected her for being so honest with me, I understood completely because that’s exactly what the vulnerable little girl in me was saying too! There we were two grown women being honest about the vulnerability they were feeling, in doing so opened a deeper conversation into honoring our true feelings. We worked together to find a mutual situation we could agree upon. I felt the honesty was liberating, and it made us feel closer then we already felt.

I found this conversation with Stacy helped me to realize that I do sometimes react in a way that is not so mature. In this realization it helps me to dig deeper into my own soul, be honest with myself about who I am on the inside. To validate what I need, not just who I want others to see. If I am honest with my true self, I find it much easier to be honest in all my relationships because I am not only respecting their needs, I am respecting mine as well. If I cover up my true feelings I tend to act out in ways that are not my best self. Is this true for you? What inside of you screams to be heard? How does it ask for help? Or do you yearn to be heard or validated?

I would love to open a conversation about this sensitive subject. Do you honor the vulnerable inner child within you? Or does seeing your own weakness offend your ego and make you send it to the back rooms of your brain where you let its hurt feelings fester until it explodes? Is this your inner child or is it your ego? Maybe it is even your inner child’s ego? What does it have to say that is so important?

I think it is imperative to look inside of yourself for answers you seek. I believe we are wise beings even when we don’t act like it. I believe there is a part of God inside of all of us. I call it our Spirit or Soul that holds valuable intuition and grace if you are quiet enough to listen, if we are aware enough to ask, and are willing to grow. We can nurture it or neglect it, it’s up to you.

Namaste

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

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