Tag: family

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Asking for help is hard!

Emy Minzel

Does anyone else hate to ask for help? I do. It is so hard for me often I struggle for a long while trying to ‘do it myself’ before I either just give up completely, or finally with a great deal of hesitation I will ask for the help I need. I am not sure why I have this dislike of asking for help. Most people are happy to help when I ask yet there are times when they are not.

I was raised by a single mother who had to do most everything by herself. For a long while I was a single mother too, is this a side effect of single motherhood? Or is it a side effect of stubbornness? I conclude it is most likely a combination of both. Of course; there are the instances when I do ask for help and do not get the support I need. Is there a reason behind that? Does that mean what I want or need help with isn’t meant for me? Does it mean ask someone else? Or does it mean keep trying to do it yourself because I will eventually figure it out?

The Adventure Sisters are working on three book proposals due in April. We are also working very hard to build the public platform of supportive readers. The platforms are meant to help us reach as many people as possible. The Publishers decide whose books to publish by looking for writers who are willing to do extra work to sell themselves, their books, and their ideas. That is why Stacy and I have started the Adventure Sister social media promotional pages also we’ve started blogs to introduce you to who we are. In our blogs we work on expressing our beliefs to expose readers to the why behind what we are writing about.

It is our hopes and dreams that others will support us in the pursuit of becoming published authors. To do this we need to ask for help from our friends, family, and others who resonate with the message of the Adventure Sisters. My job is to trust in our path, continue to believe that God/Universe will bring us the helpers we need to bring our dream of being published to fruition. I believe that the women I met today at Toast Masters were helping angels that came into my life at the perfect time to help me grow by helping me use my voice. All I had to do was show up and ask.

I believe that every path or event happens to help you grow and learn. I believe life will open the doors that are for you, or not, for reasons I don’t get to know right now. I have found that as I embark on this literary writing adventure, I’ve been forced to ask for help. It’s very uncomfortable feeling for me. Some people are more helpful then others, yet I realize that most people are willing to help when you ask. The only fix to this conundrum is to find the courage to keep asking for the help I need, so that we can keep making progress in pursuit of accomplishing our dreams.

I will take this lesson of asking for help with me to the future, I see it takes courage for everyone to ask for help not just me. I will do my best to help others when they ask because I have compassion for the uncomfortable feelings that can come with asking for help. It is my sincerest gratitude for the people who are reading my blog right now, who help the Adventure Sisters move forward in pursuit of our Joy.

Thank you for reading, sharing, liking, and commenting on our posts, it truly does help us to increase our platform. Thank you for helping me confirm the kindness I believe exists in all people just like you. You are the twinkling street lights of support on the road to our literary escapades that lay ahead. Thank you for your help.

Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

The Adventure Sisters on Instagram
@adventuresistersbwca

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6 Lessons from my husband ~

Emy Minzel

Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars is an especially fitting statement when it comes to my husband Jason and I. We are opposite in most of our characteristics from our height difference to our perspectives on life, we are just plain different. They say opposites attract because they find their differences fascinating if they can get past them and except each other for who they are on the inside. Because you love that person you should be able respect their right to their own opinion even if it is the opposite of yours. The love we share is an anchor that lets us see other view points by being able to listen with respect.

That does not mean there is no debating! We often contest each other’s opinions if we strongly disagree with the topic. There are also times we must agree to disagree. However, there are times while pondering his different ideals that they change some of mine. Often it is the way that he does something, that wears off on me when I see the results of his actions. Just because we do things differently doesn’t mean they are wrong, yet after years of practice, I cannot argue with the results. Being as different as we are, there are outlooks and actions that have been rerouted in my life because of my husband’s example. I am very thankful for his examples of;

Forward Thinking: Patience was not ever my strong suit, I have a low tolerance for waiting for what I want. Sometimes I would even give up on goals because I was not seeing results fast enough. I have learned from my husband’s example of sticking with your goals, that patience and persistence do in fact pay off. Even on the days you’d like to punch yourself in the face or shoot yourself in the foot instead of persisting, you must persist. This leads right into the next lesson from my husband which is dedication.

Dedication: Not only to the people you love and the career you wish to excel at but also to what is important to you. Nobody can tell you what it is that you want to dedicate your time and effort too, but it is up to you to act on the goals that tug on your heart. It is also okay to have something for only yourself that you dedicate your time and effort to, it does not have to involve other people. If collecting stamps make you happy, do it with your whole heart, no explanations or apologies needed.

Be Generous: My husband is generous with his financial support and gifts, and also with his time and effort. Time and effort are often times more valuable than other generous contributions. I now see that the quality gift of time and effort can be much more valuable than money. When my husband he goes beyond his comfort zone to build me a bench or table with up cycled items, when he changes oil, or snow blows the driveway and in so many other ways he is there for me, I feel very loved. His generosity extends to his friends and family, he is willing to help others who needs his set of skills, he’s also a great IT guy.

Its Okay to say NO: There is not too much explanation needed for this one. Yet it took me a while to learn from his example. Help someone if you want too. If you don’t want too, or you have other reasons, it is okay to say no and leave it at that. No is a perfectly acceptable answer to something you do not feel right about.

Stand up for yourself: If you are feeling taken advantage of, bullied, manipulated or any other uncomfortable situation stand up for yourself. It matters to your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-respect to have firm boundaries of how you allow others to treat you.

Research stuff: He reminds me that you’re smarter than you think you are all it takes is a little extra effort. In this age of instant information available at your fingertips, its your own fault if you don’t use it. If you are looking to purchase anything, read the reviews first, it saves time and heart ache. If you want to vacation, change careers, be informed about politics or the environment, or want to know anything, research it to your best ability, look for the good and the bad so you are prepared for both.

As residence of Mars and Venus, Jason and I value different actions and abilities. Now that I’ve had plenty of time to observe the differences, I can incorporate the things that I find value in. I am very thankful for these qualities he’s helped me to improve in myself, it helps me to want to inspire him in positive ways as well. I am thankful for my husband and his life lessons that help us grow together and keep improving ourselves for the future.

What have you learned from you’re loved ones that’s changed you for the better? I’d love to hear from you!

Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

The Adventure Sisters on Instagram
@adventuresistersbwca

Please help us by signing this petition to Save The Boundary Waters Canoe Area of MN.

https://www.savetheboundarywaters.org/tell-department-interior-and-bureau-land-management-protect-boundary-waters

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How do we honor our inner child?

Emy Minzel

I am continuing the conversation of honoring different aspect of our personalities that we may not like to acknowledge. The inner child is one part of my personally that intrigues me, maybe because mine seems to be asking a lot of me lately. It demands I spend time doing things that I love, not just the things that the adult part of me thinks need to be done. Like work, laundry, dishes, and other insanely boring chores of life that seem to steal my precious time, keeping me preoccupied with monotony. In short, lately I have found being an ‘adult” alllll the time is horrifically boring!!! This is when I feel the tug of my inner child the most. She seems to say day after day, “Girl, there’s gotta be more to life then this! Let’s go find it!”

“Heck yes. Let’s do this!” I, answer back to that little girl who just wants to have fun.

Then my adult voices says; “Mmmmhmmm sure, right after you vacuum.”

Gah!!!! Round and round we go, match for match, day after day. Until somethings gotta give. It’s odd to talk about playing as an adult, is it not? The adventures I have experienced with my soul sister Stacy in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area have let me feel free enough to remember how to play again. Is it only me? Or do you have days when wearing this adult version of my meat suit/body feels just plain weird?

My body gets older, my hair is graying, and there are life lines around my eyes. Yet there are times I feel so honestly inquisitive, full of love and trusting of life that I can feel the innocence of my childlike soul still shining inside. It makes me feel like playing outside, letting my hair down, and getting creative. At times I yearn to belly laugh until it’s hard to breathe and my face hurts.  Surely this is not too much to ask for?! As Stacy likes to tell me “I make the rules for MY life!”

I like the way you think sister friend. So, this is the new rule. I choose to listen to the little voice calling, I will call her my ‘inner child’ because it seems fitting. I will honor her needs because she is part of me, the best part if you really think about it. The innocence you once had as a child is still in you, it is where your hope lives. You cannot deny the importance of hope!  This is the part of us that if nurtured, will ensure we make the world a kinder place. There is no fear or violence in hope or innocent children, this part still lives in you and we can choose to nurture it.

I do this by adding play and whimsy to my life, in simple ways. I love to write, it feels like creating art and allows me to express myself. When I am with friends and family we like to play board games or interactive games at gatherings, bowling or hiking. It brings us all together to ‘play’ and build relationships with occasional team building skills mixed in. If I am by myself I might embrace the feminine part of my inner child and get girly. I will give myself a pedicure, or a facial, put on a hydrating mask and fully embrace the beauty rituals I use that make me feel good.

When in the Boundary Waters Stacy and I take blow up inner tubes put them around our waist or sit in them and float in the sun giggling and chattering away like best girlfriends do at any age. We would go ‘exploring’ in the forest on trails, hop in the canoe to find what we haven’t seen before just for the sake of pleasing our curious inner child. We often find the beauty in the simple things the Universe offers noticing the wonder of how moss can look like a teeny tiny forest all its own.

I might choose to go outside and play in the garden, well not today, its January in Minnesota. I can plan; scratch that… ‘plan’ sounds too much like work… In the winter I love to take the opportunity to dream and create a beautiful new garden lay out. I love to use color pencils and draw where the plants might go so I can visualize it. I love how each year is different and gives me the ability to get whimsical by using my artistic creativity in a fun playful way.

If I change the way I think about things, the things I think about change. I find how I feel about things is all in the attitude I bring to them. I don’t just have a garden that I must weed. I choose to see and enjoy my garden as a continuous work of art, the effort I put into it or not shows. Isn’t that true of all relationships? Even the relationships we have with ourselves?

If we choose to not nurture any part of ourselves, or relationships we cannot fully enjoy life’s offerings or its many infinite destinies. Why would fun show up for us if we are not able to embrace the richness it brings to our lives? Why deny any parts of yourself by not recognize the vulnerable part of you that needs to be heard, seen or validated in any aspect of your personality?

Aren’t the neediest parts of you the loudest and hardest to ignore anyways? Just possibly could these be the parts of ourselves that cause us to act out as not our best-self, causing unnecessary drama when you ignore it for too long? What if we tried to sooth that inner child, fulfill its needs, so we can move on from these triggers?

What’s the worst that could happen if you looked these tendencies right in the eye and asked. “What do you REALLY mean by that feeling? What do you really need?”

What if you had the courage to wait and listen to the answer? Oh boy! How exciting it could be to find out what it is you truly want and need! After all, you’re an adult now and you get to make the rules for your life. As an adult give yourself permission to admit when we just need a hug, admit when you need to feel validated and heard. It is okay to speak up when we aren’t feeling loved in a way that you can comprehend, or even if you need some attention. Your inner child is part of you, to deny it is to deny yourself.

What does your inner child ask from you? Is it to come out and play or is it demanding more? The inner child in you has plenty of hope and courage for today and the future. I can hear them calling, I know you can too. I’d love to hear your thoughts on inner child work. Feel free to comment below!

Wishing you and abundance of Love, Laughter, and Blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

#lifelessons, #spiritual, Innerwork

Is your inner child calling?

Emy Minzel

I recently reflected on how I sometimes create my own drama, asking myself, “What part of me generates this conflict, and why?” I’m fascinated by personality traits, especially when I surprise myself with my own actions. While I’m sure a psychologist could explain these traits in clinical terms, I’m not a doctor, so I won’t play one on the internet.

Instead, I’ve been exploring the deeper space within me where these traits originate. I know they’re a part of me—but what part? Who are you in there, and how can I nurture us so that we don’t resort to creating drama or conflict unnecessarily?

I know I’m a bit of an odd duck, and I recognize that some may see my beliefs and ideals as utopian. I’m perfectly okay with that, because I truly believe in the goodness of humanity. I also believe that I carry the spark of life—of God—within me, just as you do. With this belief comes an understanding that I can create my own magic by manifesting a beautiful life—or, admittedly, by generating unnecessary drama.

For the most part, I feel the quality of my life is within my control. I get to choose how I face each day through my attitude, actions, and reactions. I also believe that the people around us—our friends and family—hold up mirrors, allowing us to see ourselves through the circumstances life presents. These reflections are here to teach us and help us grow.

Last week, my adventure sister, Stacy Crep, and I were planning our Boundary Waters trip for this summer. We discussed our intentions for the trip and what we both hoped to gain from this deep wilderness experience. Typically, it’s just the two of us. We wander the forest as though we’re Queens in a wall-less castle, under the canopy of trees. For me, the forest feels as comforting and healing as home.

This year, we considered how meaningful it might be to share this spiritual experience with others we love. We decided to invite a couple of friends to join us. Initially, I hesitated. Deep down, I felt a little selfish. I wanted to preserve this experience as it’s always been—just the two of us.

I’m someone who values close, intimate relationships far more than large groups or casual conversations about work or the weather. I’m a deep thinker, always pondering the mysteries of life, as is my soul sister, Stacy. We have a soulful connection that I cherish deeply, and I wasn’t ready to share that sacred space with others just yet.

I labeled my feelings as selfish, but upon reflection, I don’t believe they stem from selfishness at all. Instead, I think they arise from the vulnerable part of me—the inner child—who isn’t quite ready to share this time with Stacy yet. That inner voice quietly whispered, “Not yet.”

About a week after Stacy and I agreed to bring others to the Boundary Waters, I found myself struggling to sleep. I lay awake, pondering the shift in my emotions about a trip that I’m usually excited for. Instead, I felt uneasy. I knew I had to honor these feelings and share them with Stacy; otherwise, I risked acting out in ways that might create unnecessary drama.

Thankfully, Stacy and I have built a friendship grounded in mutual respect. I value her deeply because we can be fully honest with each other. She understands that how I feel is just as important as how she feels. When I shared my thoughts about including others on this sacred adventure, I unintentionally triggered a reaction in Stacy. She, too, felt the pull to create conflict but chose instead to step back and see the situation for what it was: two women communicating their feelings honestly.

In our conversation, Stacy admitted that the little girl inside of her wanted to stomp her foot and say, “Fine. I’m not going then.” Her honesty struck me because I understood completely—that’s exactly what the vulnerable little girl inside of me wanted to say, too! There we were, two grown women, candidly acknowledging our vulnerabilities.

That level of honesty opened the door to a deeper dialogue about honoring our true feelings. In the end, we worked together to find a compromise that felt right for both of us. The experience was liberating, and it brought us even closer.

This exchange helped me realize that I don’t always react in the most mature way. But in that realization, I’ve learned to dig deeper into my own soul. Being honest with myself about who I am on the inside allows me to validate my needs—not just project the version of myself I want others to see.

When I am honest with my true self, I find it easier to approach all my relationships with authenticity and respect—not only for their needs but for my own as well. If I ignore or suppress my feelings, I tend to act out in ways that aren’t aligned with my best self.

Is this true for you, too? Do you have a part of you that screams to be heard? How does that part express itself—does it ask for help, or does it yearn for validation?

I’d love to start a conversation about this delicate subject. Do you honor the vulnerable inner child within you? Or does recognizing weakness make your ego step in and send those hurt feelings to the shadows, where they fester until they explode? Is it your inner child, or is it your ego—or perhaps even your inner child’s ego? What is that voice trying to say?

I believe it’s essential to look within ourselves for the answers we seek. I trust that we are wise beings, even when we don’t always act that way. I believe there’s a part of God within each of us—a Spirit or Soul that holds deep intuition and grace.

When we’re quiet enough to listen, aware enough to ask, and willing to grow, we can tap into that wisdom. The choice to nurture it or neglect it is ultimately up to us.

Namaste

Emy Minzel 

https://emyminzel.com

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Stop and smell the flowers…

Emy Minzel

I recently came down with a doozy of a cold, the day I felt it coming on, I started taking a homeopathic remedy containing zinc that were rapid melt tabs. It was supposed to lessen the severity and duration of my illness. But what it did was rob me of my sense of smell completely for a week now and I am still not smelling the same as I once did. This over the counter remedy has had FDA recalls on some of this company’s products for this exact reason, although I did not know this until it happened to me of course. After a google search I learned over load of zinc in your body can steal your smell and taste sometimes forever! There are lawsuits against the manufacture that claims these products are safe when they can harm you for a lifetime.

Today I sense some of my smell working slightly, I was able to smell strong odors finally and I was ecstatic about it. I had taken my nose for granted, not understanding or appreciating its function and the depth it adds to my life. When you cannot smell your sense of taste is severely diminished, I love to cook, and I really love to eat, I find contentment in my kitchen. Can you imagine what it would be like to love the smell of your fresh brewed coffee in the morning and when you go to pour a cup you don’t smell a thing and the taste is bitter and blah. Just like that, one of my favorite rituals was snatched away because I took an over the counter medication that was supposed to help me. I feel duped and livid all at the same time.

I used to think “Oh man, it would be terrible to be deaf or blind.” And it really would be! I never once thought of how I would feel if I could not smell or taste. Here I am telling you what it’s like, it’s also awful. I do not get to sniff my husband and tell him he smells like home. I do not get to smell coffee, bacon, essential oils I love to use or even the smell of my beautiful daughter. I would miss the smell of clean clothes fresh out of the dryer, soup simmering on the stove, smoke from the wood stove or smoke if the house was on fire for that matter. I also wouldn’t be able to enjoy the perfume I just got for Christmas. Or Christmas cookies, I can tell they are sweet but that is it, I do not taste the creamy peanut butter and chocolate in them only the taste of sweet. So sad. If there were a gas leak or fire I would not be able to tell or if I stink to high heaven I would not know. That is horrifying.

I feel lucky that I sense some of my olfactory coming back to life. I am very hopeful that this is temporary, and my body knows how to fix what I broke. Until this happened I never thought once about the richness the sense of smell brings to my life, have you? Sure, I wouldn’t have to smell bad things, but that also means I could not tell if my food was spoiled or if I stepped in dog poop either. Here is my cautionary tale, please be careful of the things you put into your body even if it says homeopathic or natural. Research it first! As my husband likes to remind me “arsenic is organic too, that doesn’t make it safe.”