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What do they think of me???

Emy Minzel

Do you ever find yourself concerned about what others think of you? I think it is human nature to do so. Like First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt said, “What others think of me, is none of my business.” I guarantee Mrs. Roosevelt had undergone just a little ridicule and speculation while serving the longest First Lady residency of the White House to date for twelve years.

Eleanor shook up the norm of the First Lady role, writing her own newspaper column, and played a role in fighting poverty and racial discrimination in the World War II era. I can only imagine how a bold opinionated woman was received in a Congress mostly full of men. This makes me realize how thankful I am for the strong women who fought the status quo in our history to help women get the freedoms we have today.

When I find myself questioning my words, actions or ideas because I am concerned what others think of me it brings anxiety. If you are anything like me; I will run through conversations in my head, wondering what I could have or should have done better.

Here are a few questions I ask myself that help me put my mind at ease with my deeds, and conversations.

  • Did I speak my truth?
  • Was I kind?
  • Was I able to keep calm and collected?
  • Did I give the other party an opportunity to speak their truth?
  • If there is no compromise of opinion, did we respectfully to agree to disagree?
  • Did I hold on to my personal values? And did I allow the other party to do the same?

If I accomplished all these things, I feel okay with my interactions. You and I both know that there are times we don’t get along with everyone. So, when the other party may not like the outcome of our conversation or there is conflict, I start to think, “I wonder what they think of me?”

Truthfully even though I am fully aware ‘what they think of me is none of my business.’ I still do care! I care because I want others to see that I live and act in harmony with my beliefs. I believe in being kind and compassionate to every living being I come across in life, and although I know this is my intention, I want this to come across to those I interact with.

Yet I have learned I must be strong and stand firmly in my truth. I will not be happy if I allow myself to be steamrolled or bullied into silence. Standing up for yourself can be uncomfortable, especially if you encounter someone who does not show you respect to be authentically you.

I’ve met some people who seemed like unkind, selfish, mean, bullies in my day. Yet as I grow older, I see beyond their actions and see the pain underneath that makes them act out in this way. Maybe that person has not been shown compassion or kindness themselves? Maybe they were raised in a very totalitarian home with no empathy and not allowed to show emotion?

Clearly a person whom cannot practice compassion has not been shown it. These are the people who seem to have the loudest opinions and greater tendency to have behaviors such as: punish harshly, belittle, or bully others. When I have an interaction with folks like this it stays with me for days because it feels so icky.

Then I ask myself, “What did I do to bring this situation to myself? Was I part in escalating this uncomfortable situation or an innocent bystander of emotional violence?” I know that I am opinionated myself and am hardly ever completely innocent when it comes to debating with those with differing opinions. Yet how I interact with the world around me is very important to me.

I try very hard to be the best me I can be. I try to raise vibes, not lower them.

So, while it is true that “What others think of me is none of my business.” I still go back to those questions (see list above) and hold myself up to the personal standards I have set. I feel like when I answer those questions, I know if I can rest easy with my actions or if I have some room for improvement.

It is important to stand firmly in my truth, and to be okay when others do not like or agree with me. Because what I think of myself is more important than what others think of me. I know who I am inside and if I am upholding my personal values while feeling a little uncomfortable, I must be okay with that.

While we may always wonder what others think, it’s more important to ask yourself. “What do you, think of you?!” There is always room to grow, there are ways to improve being true to you too!

I imagine this may be what Eleanor Roosevelt was expressing with her quote. “What others think of me is none of my business.”

I hope this blog helped you in some way. I’d love to hear what you think!

Wishing you an abundance of blessings!

With love,

Emy Minzel ~

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

 

 

 

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You’ve been gifted with time

Emy Minzel

I had an odd dream on Christmas night, but I cannot remember the actual dream. Which is weird, because I normally remember something of them, most nights. What made this dream seem odd is that, right before I woke-up, I heard a voice clear as day. I heard this voice speaking to me as if it were a right next to me in the bedroom. The voice said; “You’ve been gifted with time.”

Interesting that I do not remember the dream itself, but the message has been running through my head all day. What did the voice mean by that? Was it really just a dream? Who could that voice belong to? All these questions and none of which I have the answers to. Yet I keep thinking about it because it was so crystal clear.

It is true that I have been gifted with time in many areas of my life. Life has not always been this way for me and so I do not take my time for granted. I do enjoy the time I get to spend with my loved ones. Then there are those times that I get to thoroughly enjoy being alone with my dogs doing whatever I want to do or nothing at all.

I’m at that stage in my life lately, that comes with a little extra time for myself, since my daughter is grown, and I am no longer a candidate. Work slows down over the busy Holiday season, which is a nice change of pace once in a while too. Is this dream reminding me to use this blessing as an opportunity to write and chase my dreams?

I’ve been concerned that I am not keeping up on my blogging because I have been enjoying time with my family over the holidays. I know that I really should not worry about such trivial things as blogging verses spending time with family, so I don’t think this is what the voice meant.

This morning I had a client who has come to me for many years. Matter of fact, she’s been coming to me the longest of any of my clients.  I had not gotten her a gift of appreciation but had instead decided to give her my time. I asked her if she was in a hurry after our appointment and she stated she was not. I extended her session by a half an hour as a gift of my gratitude for her loyalty over the years.

In the spirit of the Holiday’s, when consumerism tells us that spending dollars proves our love, I choose otherwise. It’s not the stuff or amount that makes us happy, it’s the thoughtfulness and the love behind the gestures of gift giving. I just wanted to remind you what I think the voice in my dream may have been needing to remind me.

Time is indeed a gift.

Sometimes giving someone else the gift of your time is much more valuable then we realize. Letting our chores go, so we can listen to our families laugh in the kitchen. Find delight in the glorious mess of wrapping paper in the living room, for just a little longer, as you take in the smiles and love lighting up the room. What a blessing to have my home filled with my family for the week!

Thank you, Creator for this glorious blessing of time.

*Picture taken in my back yard

Thank you for reading my blog today. Wishing you all and abundance of blessings,

With love,

Emy Minzel

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

 

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Affirmations for your spirit!

Emy Minzel

What’s an affirmation and how can they help me? Much like Mantra’s (a sound or word that directs our brain waves into higher consciousness like OHM) an affirmation is the same but a little different. It is usually a sentence or phrase that helps keep your focus on your intention. I find it much easier to meditate and have a better day, when I have an affirmation that reiterates my intentions for that period or moment of meditation.

For example, when I am feeling down, or things aren’t going my way or maybe I am not as self-assured as I would like. I would say something like this (below) to myself several times throughout the day.

“The world is my playground for positive experiences of adventure and miracles in action. Nothing is impossible. I got this.”

This affirmation takes my mind off any worry of the past or future and leaves me open to experiencing my life right now. I believe that, to some extent, we do manifest the day we experience. We all have the free will to think and do what we choose. If we wake up on the wrong side of the bed and don’t figure out how to brush that energy off, your whole day ends up like an uphill mountain climb.

When I wake up mad, (Hey, it happens, some of us aren’t morning people!) I usually try to shake it off and hope a strong cup of coffee and the sunrise will help put a new perspective on things. But on those days that a warm shower and coffee aren’t enough, I do my best to give myself an attitude adjustment with an affirmation.

“Thank you for this day! Please guide me to do only good. I am open to divine guidance and love. I am the light.”

Repetition seems to be necessary, because I get distracted and find myself slipping into lower vibrational thoughts. When that happens, I need to repeat my affirmation and the intention of energy I wish to give and receive from the world around me. Sometimes something as simple as “I am safe.” Or “I am enough” is all it takes to remind me to get back into the here and now of my day.

I am a fan of Louise Hay’s work. She has a book called Heal Your Body. In it, Louise offers insight to buried mental issues that manifest into physical ailments. For example, if you wonder why am I having this back pain? Louise’s book says:

Lower back pain means: Fear of money and lack of financial support. She then offers an affirmation to say to yourself throughout the day to help your mind heal your body. “I trust the process of life. All I need is always taken care of. I am safe.”

Middle back pain means: Guilt, stuck in all that stuff in the past, “Get off my back.” The affirmation is “I release the past. I am free to move forward with love in my heart.”

Upper back pain means: You could be experiencing a lack of emotional support. Feeling unloved. Holding back love. The affirmation for upper back pain is “I love and approve of myself. Life supports and loves me.”

It is a very interesting book that has helped me and many people I know acknowledge the emotions that have physically manifested into ailments. It helps us put words to our mind, body, spirit connection so that it makes sense to our logical minds that rationalize everything. This book has helped me to feel confident in writing affirmations specifically for me. I do recommend you check this book out! 

I have always believed that “thoughts become things!” and we should do our best to keep our thoughts busy manifesting goodness. Working with affirmations helps me to guide my active mind; to a peaceful and positive contentment.

There is no harm in coaching yourself to keep your thoughts positive to have the best day possible. Even if unconventional ways may seem a little ‘woo woo’ I suggest you give it a try! What’s the worst that can happen? You’re still ornery and have a crappy day? It happens to us all. But we can do our best to change the direction of our thoughts and steer them in a more hopeful direction.

I would like to state I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. I am a human who has a very active mind and I like to share my tips and tricks I use to keep my thoughts positive and productive. If you feel like you need psychiatric help, do it! There is no shame in taking care of yourself.

For those of us who like to practice selfcare to keep that mind, body, soul vibes flowing positively, I think I am okay in sharing my experiences, from one friend to another. I hope this has helped you in some why and opens your mind to alternative practices that help us be nice to ourselves and others.

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ I am love.

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

 

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6 Alternative ways to Meditate

Emy Minzel

Many of my friends are curious about meditation and its benefits. Who doesn’t need a little mental health break occasionally?! Yet, many are intimidated by the thought of trying not to think. This is nearly impossible for most of us to do but I am about to tell you a secret; you do not have too! There are many ways to mediate and you don’t even have to do it cross-legged on the floor while listening to ocean waves and pan flutes.

For those of us who have a hard time ‘sitting still’ or quieting our mind for an extended amount of time. Here are some alternative ways to get the same relaxing benefits of traditional meditation by just using intentional mindfulness. The best tip I can offer, for keeping your mind in the here and now, is to focus on your breathing. Make sure you are taking in deep belly breaths, then notice and relax any and all areas in your body that feel tense.

Walking Meditation: Getting out into nature and fresh air helps to clear our minds. It is also almost automatic that we become more alert and in the here and now, when outdoors. The whole point of meditation is to be here, right now. Most walks are pleasant, if you aren’t thinking of something that happened in the past or will in the future. Try to only focus on where your next footstep will fall and how beautiful that sunset is, your mind will be at peace.

Shower/Tub Meditation: Water is a very healing element. When you step into the shower or tub, do your best to keep your mind in there with you. Don’t think about what you are going to have for breakfast later or all you have to do today. Just enjoy the blessing of indoor plumbing and hot water; while thinking thoughts of gratitude. This is one of my favorite ways to start the day and to ‘fit’ meditation into my schedule.

Guided Meditations / Yoga Nidra: To be honest, I sometimes prefer guided meditation over regular meditation, when I am trying to clear my energy. It takes the pressure off when trying to keep my thoughts in check, because it keeps your mind busy listening to instructions. Stacy recommended to try Yoga Nidra last year on a very particular hard day I was having and I have been hooked ever since. It helps me get into a deep sense of relaxation by suggesting you focus your energy on different areas of the body.

Cleaning: Believe it or not, cleaning is an excellent mediation. Doing dishes, vacuuming and dusting; demands our focus. When doing an activity, that is not too challenging, we tend to pay attention to our task at hand and this allows us to stay in the present. Plus you get instant gratification results, which is always nice!

Massage/Acupuncture: Any practice that leaves me feeling like I am in an alternative universe for an hour or two is much like meditation. Some people fall a sleep on the massage table (sleeping is not meditation) but most people slip into a state of Zen; if they feel like they don’t have to fill the silence. Some people like to talk and that’s okay, but the ones that do not seem to get more than physical relief, they get mental relaxation. Feeling warm, safe and completely relaxed is a form of mediation that leaves us feeling blissful. 

Coffee and Car rides: Believe it or not, even a quiet cup of coffee in the morning or a car ride can feel like a short meditation, if you can stop yourself from mentally running through your list of daily chores, just for a bit. Try instead to give thanks for the day you are about to embark on. You will be amazed at the peace it can bring. Turn off the noise and just breathe.

These are just a few tips and tricks I have learned on my journey to heal. I realize that we cannot be healthy without the body, mind and spirit connection flowing together as they should. So, to all of us who have a hard time with traditional ways of meditation, please do not give up! There are many ways to go within and give yourself time to destress!

I hope some of these suggestions will help you see meditation in a less intimidating way! Wishing you a blissful state of mind and a relaxing state of being in the here and now. Namaste!

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ I am love.

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

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Why is it so hard to relax? Turns out I was doing it wrong!

Emy Minzel

I recently wondered why it was that I was feeling down about not having the ambition to do all the things I want to do. My willpower seemed to have taken a winter vacation but didn’t have the courtesy to tell me first. Turns out that the things I was trying to take a break from where actually what were keeping my mood positive. Why would I want to take a break from that?!

For some reason when I think of relaxing; I think of blissful effortlessness, meditating in nature, hiking, camping, reading, napping, or even floating in the water somewhere. However, in everyday life of work, family, and chores what relaxing ‘looks like’ is much different. I am not on vacation while home, so the activities that relax my mind are going to be different.

This seems simple enough, now that I see it. Yet why did it take me so long to acknowledge and accept what truly relaxes me? Truthfully, I believe it is because I have finally had the time to process and examine my thoughts and feelings now that I am not working so darn hard. The time I have been blessed with to go ‘within’ is something I don’t want to take for granted.

During this time, I have had to look at why some of my actions don’t always match my beliefs or words. I have had time to dig deep into why I am doing the things I am doing. Working on making changes where necessary.

I have been wondering why it is that I keep striving so hard to get ahead and questioning why I seem to be taking the hardest path possible to get there!

All I know is what I ‘do’ must be meaningful to me and it is important that I help others in some way. But, do I really need to take the adventurous path everywhere I go?!

As I say “Um yes!!! You get to see and experience a life you normally would not on the unbeaten path!”

As a regular woman just trying to make it in this world, some days I think to myself. “Hmmm… are you sure this is the right way?! I think I know a shortcut.”

For some reason the words work and relaxing did not jive in my head! I am guessing it was past work history that has jaded my perception. I have not always been so lucky to work for myself. It has taken me a lot of years to understand that phrase.

“If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life.” This is so true! And it’s meaning completely snuck up on me.

Anyway, the point is, I discovered that being busy doing what I enjoy and ‘working’ on projects, is in fact, relaxing for me! I had no idea how joyful my work is. I find joy in my Massage Therapy and Energy Healing Practice because, I know how fortunate I am to retain loyal clients who appreciate me as much as I appreciate them.

Also writing my heart out and building a positive online community of adventures with friends brings me relaxation and happiness. As I continue to work on my spiritual growth goals of publishing our books and screenplay writing. Many more adventures with people i love and love me back. I know I am so blessed to have a supportive community.

When I got involved in my community pursuing the improvement of environmental issues via local politics, I also got to work with like-minded friends who have similar goals. We were all there because we wanted to be, not because we had to be! It has been a great deal of effort and work, yet it was exactly what I needed to feel to be the best me.

The whole journey of pursuing interests that make me feel good, is turning out to be a really great thing! While binge-watching Netflix and eating an abundance of my homemade cookies is only relaxing occasionally. The times I am multi-tasking with blogging or researching serves only as a disturbance which makes me feel the opposite of peaceful. No wonder I have taken to enjoying a quiet house!

I just wanted to fill you in on my new-found discovery of what relaxing can truly mean. It does not have to look like a vacation, it only must feel like one to you!

Have you found something that relaxes you that seems like ‘work’ to others?

*photo taken in Glenwood, Minnesota

Wishing you an abundance of joy and blessings,

With love,

Emy Minzel ~ I am love.

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel