Tag: #inspiration

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Flawed perfectionist

Emy Minzel

One week into this 90-day meditation challenge, and I am not failing. Though I am not doing as well as I hoped either. I am doing things to manage my stress in healthier ways then I was a week ago. I’m not meditating like a monk yet…

Do I really think it would be possible to learn to mediate like a monk in a week? Why do I set such unrealistic goals for myself? I mean, Monks dedicate their lives to live in spiritual practice, and I seemed to have thought I could master it in 90 days or less… (insert eye roll here.)

This is not unusual behavior for me, yet when I choose to let the world know what I am up to; like weekly reporting on how I am progressing on the meditation challenge it becomes clear. Things that I didn’t see, are blatant and suddenly coming into my perception.

Hello, my name is Emy and I am a flawed perfectionist. I don’t like being so particular all the time, it makes my life more difficult than it has to be!

Today I had a meeting with a wonderful woman I met on the campaign trail. It was about a thirty-minute drive to meet her, so I took the opportunity to turn the radio off and not meditate of course but relaxed and focus on my breath work. I OM’d down the road for fifteen minutes.

It worked, I felt calm when I got the meeting, and we had lovely conversations. Today is not a stressful day. It was very nice actually, yet as I write to report back about my meditation experience, I feel like I could have done better. Not because I am stressed but because I missed a day or two over Mother’s Day weekend.

I had company and a fun filled weekend that didn’t leave much time to meditate. I did still take a few minutes before I got out of bed in the morning to gather my thoughts and say thanks for the day ahead. This really does help me adjust my attitude for the whole day.

Yet I am having trouble taking the time for myself to ‘check out’ relax, or step outside to clear my mind. Behaviors that were cloudy now become clear. Now that I know I like to clear my thoughts while moving my body or being outdoors I can move forward with making sure I schedule these things in my day.

This realization that I don’t make time for myself, will change how I will be implementing my plan going forward into the second week of the meditation challenge. I am choosing to schedule time and take it. I will make sure I put it at a specific time that will work the best for me on that particular day, so I am more inclined to achieve my goal.

One day it maybe morning the other may be afternoon or evening. There is no right or wrong time or way to take a few minutes to clear my mind, relax my body and check in with my soul. I will release the thought of perfecting meditation or how I think it looks and just do what feels right for me.

I do feel less stressed then when I started, and that’s a good thing. No need to be perfect at all. Just present and aware of what I am doing and how I am doing it.

Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~

https://emyminzel.com

@emyminzel

 

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Meditation contemplations

Emy Minzel

Seemingly, I lost my meditating mojo… the last week has been fun and busy with campaigning. Yet, on Monday, I forced myself to lay down to quiet my mind even though I had a lot to do. Tuesday, I visited the state Capital and was out in the city most the day.

I did have some quiet time while sitting in the park at the capital across from the food trucks. I sat on a park bench, trying to breathe deeply while relaxing my mind. This worked for about one minute. I cannot relax in the middle of the city. Even though I enjoyed these meetings and activities, I am only human, and I do need some quiet time to myself or I feel anxious.

Wednesday I worked all day then had a great DFL meeting that kept me out past my bedtime. Wouldn’t you know it, even though I was tired as I crawled into bed, I could not fall to sleep until after 2am. As I lay there, meditating, breathing, tossing and turning like a rotisserie chicken, I thought “this is so weird, I know I am a professional at this sleep thing, get to it!”

When I have a ton of things to accomplish, I stay awake in bed thinking about them, so I don’t forget. Even though, I have seven lists on my desk… so I don’t forget. I know I am not alone on this.

I was lying in bed for hours, doing every meditation technique I could think of, I still could not calm my mind enough fall to sleep. This meditating the stress away is harder than I thought it would be. I have stress on top of my stress and now I feel stressed about not being able to release this stress.

Today I am going to try a different technique. I am going to do a walking meditation, and I am also going to spend some time in my garden freeing my asparagus patch from the weeds that intrude every spring. Spending so much time in front of the computer is starting to get to my spirit.

I realized that I like to move, it occurred to me that I like to move because it calms my mind.  I like to pick weeds, plant flowers, cook, walk the dogs because being out in nature is healing for me. Even if I sit on the porch with the laptop while I write, I seem to feel much more relaxed.

The point of meditation is relaxing so that you lower your stress level. I was trying to ‘fit it in’ when really, I found that, I do my best first thing in the morning when I wake up, if I take ten or fifteen minutes to give thanks for waking up and decide that I am going to have a great day.

This gives me the opportunity to decide how my day will look instead of absorbing the vibes of others throughout the day. When I decide today is going to be wonderful, productive and pleasant the moment I wake up. I then my brain responds to make it happen.

I will keep this habit for the rest of the challenge because it seems to work the best on my attitude about how I perceive the schedule of my day. If I ‘think’ it’s going to be stressful, then I manifest myself a difficult day. When I decide, I am going seize the day, I do. Things seem to fall in line; I get things done and my anxiety takes some time off.

I have learned what type of meditation or activity makes me FEEL the best. What I can do to effectively reduce the anxiety I feel during my day is not what I thought it would look like and that is great! The more you know the better you do, right?!

Namaste!

Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~

https://emyminzel.com

@emyminzel

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Earning trust takes time.

Emy Minzel

It’s very rare that people give their full trust even to the folks closest to them. It takes many years to really trust someone.  I believe you must have trust to build intimate relationships that are fulfilling and meaningful. This conclusion didn’t just come out of nowhere. I learned this lesson the hard way, youth made me reckless and I let people I love down.

Even if it wasn’t on purpose, the effect of lost trust was still the same. I had hurt others and it takes many years to get back the closeness we once shared. The time it took rebuilding those relationships was worth it, and a valuable life lesson. I have learned to be honest even if the truth hurts, it is always the best option.

There are relationships in my life that did not survive lost trust as well. These were also valuable lessons I carry with me. I have been on both sides of the fence of trust; like most everyone else. I have been let down, deceived and fed up enough to let relationships go. I have also been on the opposite side and was dismissed as a friend myself.

What I have learned from my experiences is that trusting relationships feel better. Knowing that others can depend on me and I can depend on them is comforting. I like being trusted, I like having others in my life that can rely on me.

These lessons learned the hard way have been blessings in disguise. They made me better my own character, to grow into the person I was meant to be. Through experience on both side of trust, I understand that earning trust takes time and consistent dedication to preserving it. I also feel that it is worth the effort most of the time.

Love is a byproduct of trust, it’s not often we don’t deeply care for someone we truly trust. They go hand in hand. Building relationships takes time, building trust takes longer, but once you have them both… I think that’s a secret ingredient that the good stuff life is made from. Fulfilling relationship are what makes life vibrant, joyful and full of love.

Building a relationship based on trust is scary, we’ve all been burned before. But I believe there are still wonderful people in the world. People who believe in supporting each other, and who also want deeply rewarding relationships that are healthy for our souls.

When you find the desire to build a friendship with others, know that they are just as weary about opening their hearts and letting you in. It makes it important to hold the intentions of trust, integrity, and above all else determination and dedication to owning your part in the relationship. You own the responsibility of bringing your best intentions and actions to that bond.

Then dedicating years and time proving it.

Building trust takes time. Letting others in to your soul takes courage.

But, it is so worth it.

Thank you for reading my blog today!

Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~

@emyminzel

*Picture credit LifeHack.io

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What do you think you deserve?

Emy Minzel

Do you think that you deserve a happy, and true lasting love you can feel deep in your soul? Do you think you deserve a career that is rewarding and makes you feel good about what you do? Do you think that you deserve a life full of family and friends that cherish, love and respect you? Do you feel comfortable in uniqueness you have to offer the world?

I think I do deserve these things, I think you do too! I know that when I decided to get serious about what and who I allow myself to spend time and energy on that is when my life seemed to bloom. When I was much younger I would keep myself small since being authentically me, would make others uncomfortable. I was not like them. I see now how we are all different on purpose.

I have never fit in well, not in high school and not in the crowd I used to run with. Although I masked it well. I am different for a reason, I was not supposed to conform. I was supposed to be uncomfortable enough to move on. I was being guided and called to do better and be better by this knowing that I didn’t belong.

It wasn’t fun or comfortable to try to fit myself into a crowd that didn’t get me. So, I decided to up my game, find people who have higher aspirations for life and to be inspired by. I chose to spend my time with people who love my uniqueness, my ambitions and celebrate them instead of picking on me for dreaming big.

There are friends or family that freely express their concern for my bold actions. They show me their fears laying them on my lap. As if I should also be scared or fearful of the same things they are. Some people certainly do not want you to succeed beyond what they think you should or could. Because they don’t think they deserve it for themselves so why should you?

I have learned to be weary of those people and see it in myself when I share my fears. It is masked as concern, but it is fear. Because I choose to see the good in people my rose color glasses would eventually reveal truth. Some of these people who I thought were close friends and even family masked behind fake support. Instead planting seeds of doubt, or backhanded compliments. I still had many years to invest in those relationships before I realized it was a lesson to learn. Weeding out faux friends and toxic family was a lesson I had to learn the hard way.

What do you do when the people who are closest to you are the ones that don’t like you taking chances or being raw and authentically you? What do you do when other people’s insecurities are pushed on you clearly dulling your shine? My answer is simple.

Don’t allow it.

Don’t give up!

Shine baby shine!

Know that you deserve to chase your dreams, you deserve to live your life in the way you want! You deserve to life fully and as hard as you wish to push yourself! Do not let the fears of others keep you from living your dreams even if they scare you and them.

Knowing that you will be okay if you fall is also a game changer. Being brave enough to try while knowing you just might biff it, is heroic in my mind! I have discovered how to march solo to the beat of my own drum because nobody else could carry the frequency of my tune.

I don’t need to carry other’s fears or expectations. I have learned to minimize the comments from the peanut gallery in the bleachers, the one’s not in the game.

When other’s opinions of how I should live are quieted; I can hear my heart speak. Asking me if life is good enough to stay the same? My heart leads me to the places and people that help me grow. It leads me to move careers, it led me to leave unfulfilling relationships for better ones. My heart leads me to live my life purpose of helping others.

My heart whispers to stay calm when I am being brave and bold.

I trust myself to know intuitively where to go next, I trust my heart to keep me safe and happy. Even in the uncomfortableness of blooming out of the tight and safe bud I was keeping myself in. I know that I deserve to feel fulfilled in all areas of my life, including relationships, career and love.

I also know that to open your heart to others, being vulnerable enough to show the real you, is super scary. We all feel that way sometimes. But ask if it’s worth it to keep yourself small or build walls around your heart just in case you may get hurt? I don’t think so. Disappointment, pain and heartbreak are part of life that we all share. Why squash your dreams to keep others comfortable? Can yourself so you don’t outgrow who they project on to you who they think you are or want you to be? hogwash. Those folks are not your people.

To me it is better to be the best version of you, you can possibly be. Is it really that scary to open you heart and love so big that the moon might feel it? Yes. because of fear that the feeling won’t returned. But, What if it is?

Fear asks. What if, you try to reach your goals and you fail?

I say; So what?! It’s how we learn. It’s how we grow into authenticity.

We are all unique for a reason, find the people and situations that celebrate and appreciate the authenticity you bring to the table, or you will never find contentment. If it was meant to be it will be.

Find the courage to accept yourself just the way you are, be bold in chasing your dreams. Find the will to overcome your fears and the fears of others. Be valiant enough to ask others to accept you just as you are. Be courageous enough to release those who can’t support you without trying to control you with their fears you may outgrow them.

Be brave in the way you love, have courage to live your life in the way you want to be remembered. Be fearless in creating the story of your life. When you believe fully in yourself, your dreams and goals. It gives you the courage and strength to go it alone if you have too because you refuse to accept anything less then you deserve.

P.S. Give yourself permission to feel joy, excitement and happiness! You deserve it.
Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~

https://emyminzel.com

@emyminzel

@emyforhouse15A