Flawed perfectionist

One week into the Adventure Sisters 90-day meditation challenge, and I am not failing but I am not doing as well as I hoped. I am not smoking, which is a great thing, and one of the reasons why I decided to jump on board the 90-day experiment with Stacy. I am doing things to manage my stress in healthier ways then I was a week ago. I’m not meditating like a monk yet…

Do I really think it would be possible to learn to mediate like a monk in a week? Why do I set such unrealistic goals for myself? I mean, Monks dedicate their lives to the spiritual practice and I seem to think I can master it in 90 days or less!? Come on girl!

This is not unusual behavior for me, yet when I choose to let the world know what I am up to; like weekly reporting on how I am progressing on the meditation challenge it becomes clear. Things that I didn’t see, are blatant and suddenly coming into my perception. Hello, my name is Emy and I am a flawed perfectionist. I don’t like being so particular all the time, it makes my life more difficult than it has to be!

Today I had a meeting with a wonderful woman I met on the campaign trail. It was about a thirty-minute drive to meet her, so I took the opportunity to turn the radio off and not meditate of course but relaxed and focus on my breath work. I OM’d down the road for fifteen minutes.

It worked, I felt calm when I got the meeting, and we had lovely conversations. Today is not a stressful day. It was very nice actually, yet as I write to report back about my meditation experience, I feel like I could have done better. Not because I am stressed but because I missed a day or two over Mother’s Day weekend.

I had company and a fun filled weekend that didn’t leave much time to meditate. I did still take a few minutes before I got out of bed in the morning to gather my thoughts and say thanks for the day ahead. This really does help me adjust my attitude for the whole day.

Yet I am having trouble taking the time for myself to ‘check out’ relax, or step outside to clear my mind. Behaviors that were cloudy now become clear. Now that I know I like to clear my thoughts while moving my body or being outdoors I can move forward with making sure I schedule these things in my day.

This realization that I don’t make time for myself, will change how I will be implementing my plan going forward into the second week of the meditation challenge. I am choosing to schedule me-time and take it. I will make sure I put it at a specific time that will work the best for me on that particular day, so I am more inclined to achieve my goal.

One day it maybe morning the other may be afternoon or evening. There is no right or wrong time or way to take a few minutes to clear my mind, relax my body and check in with my soul. I will release the thought of perfecting meditation or how I think it looks and just do what feels right for me.

I do feel less stressed then when I started, and that’s a good thing.

How is it going with your attempt at our 90-day meditation? Are you doing well? Are you struggling some like me? I would love to hear from you.

Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister



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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister