Tag: ego

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How do we honor our inner child?

emyminzel

I am continuing the conversation of honoring different aspect of our personalities that we may not like to acknowledge. The inner child is one part of my personally that intrigues me, maybe because mine seems to be asking a lot of me lately. It demands I spend time doing things that I love, not just the things that the adult part of me thinks need to be done. Like work, laundry, dishes, and other insanely boring chores of life that seem to steal my precious time, keeping me preoccupied with monotony. In short, lately I have found being an ‘adult” alllll the time is horrifically boring!!! This is when I feel the tug of my inner child the most. She seems to say day after day, “Girl, there’s gotta be more to life then this! Let’s go find it!”

“Heck yes. Let’s do this!” I, answer back to that little girl who just wants to have fun.

Then my adult voices says; “Mmmmhmmm sure, right after you vacuum.”

Gah!!!! Round and round we go, match for match, day after day. Until somethings gotta give. It’s odd to talk about playing as an adult, is it not? The adventures I have experienced with my soul sister Stacy in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area have let me feel free enough to remember how to play again. Is it only me? Or do you have days when wearing this adult version of my meat suit/body feels just plain weird?

My body gets older, my hair is graying, and there are life lines around my eyes. Yet there are times I feel so honestly inquisitive, full of love and trusting of life that I can feel the innocence of my childlike soul still shining inside. It makes me feel like playing outside, letting my hair down, and getting creative. At times I yearn to belly laugh until it’s hard to breathe and my face hurts.  Surely this is not too much to ask for?! As Stacy likes to tell me “I make the rules for MY life!”

I like the way you think sister friend. So, this is the new rule. I choose to listen to the little voice calling, I will call her my ‘inner child’ because it seems fitting. I will honor her needs because she is part of me, the best part if you really think about it. The innocence you once had as a child is still in you, it is where your hope lives. You cannot deny the importance of hope!  This is the part of us that if nurtured, will ensure we make the world a kinder place. There is no fear or violence in hope or innocent children, this part still lives in you and we can choose to nurture it.

I do this by adding play and whimsy to my life, in simple ways. I love to write, it feels like creating art and allows me to express myself. When I am with friends and family we like to play board games or interactive games at gatherings, bowling or hiking. It brings us all together to ‘play’ and build relationships with occasional team building skills mixed in. If I am by myself I might embrace the feminine part of my inner child and get girly. I will give myself a pedicure, or a facial, put on a hydrating mask and fully embrace the beauty rituals I use that make me feel good.

When in the Boundary Waters Stacy and I take blow up inner tubes put them around our waist or sit in them and float in the sun giggling and chattering away like best girlfriends do at any age. We would go ‘exploring’ in the forest on trails, hop in the canoe to find what we haven’t seen before just for the sake of pleasing our curious inner child. We often find the beauty in the simple things the Universe offers noticing the wonder of how moss can look like a teeny tiny forest all its own.

I might choose to go outside and play in the garden, well not today, its January in Minnesota. I can plan; scratch that… ‘plan’ sounds too much like work… In the winter I love to take the opportunity to dream and create a beautiful new garden lay out. I love to use color pencils and draw where the plants might go so I can visualize it. I love how each year is different and gives me the ability to get whimsical by using my artistic creativity in a fun playful way.

If I change the way I think about things, the things I think about change. I find how I feel about things is all in the attitude I bring to them. I don’t just have a garden that I must weed. I choose to see and enjoy my garden as a continuous work of art, the effort I put into it or not shows. Isn’t that true of all relationships? Even the relationships we have with ourselves?

If we choose to not nurture any part of ourselves, or relationships we cannot fully enjoy life’s offerings or its many infinite destinies. Why would fun show up for us if we are not able to embrace the richness it brings to our lives? Why deny any parts of yourself by not recognize the vulnerable part of you that needs to be heard, seen or validated in any aspect of your personality?

Aren’t the neediest parts of you the loudest and hardest to ignore anyways? Just possibly could these be the parts of ourselves that cause us to act out as not our best-self, causing unnecessary drama when you ignore it for too long? What if we tried to sooth that inner child, fulfill its needs, so we can move on from these triggers?

What’s the worst that could happen if you looked these tendencies right in the eye and asked. “What do you REALLY mean by that feeling? What do you really need?”

What if you had the courage to wait and listen to the answer? Oh boy! How exciting it could be to find out what it is you truly want and need! After all, you’re an adult now and you get to make the rules for your life. As an adult give yourself permission to admit when we just need a hug, admit when you need to feel validated and heard. It is okay to speak up when we aren’t feeling loved in a way that you can comprehend, or even if you need some attention. Your inner child is part of you, to deny it is to deny yourself.

What does your inner child ask from you? Is it to come out and play or is it demanding more? The inner child in you has plenty of hope and courage for today and the future. I can hear them calling, I know you can too. I’d love to hear your thoughts on inner child work. Feel free to comment below!

Wishing you and abundance of Love, Laughter, and Blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

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#lifelessons, #spiritual, Innerwork

Is your inner child calling?

emyminzel

I recently reflected on how I sometimes create my own drama, asking myself, “What part of me generates this conflict, and why?” I’m fascinated by personality traits, especially when I surprise myself with my own actions. While I’m sure a psychologist could explain these traits in clinical terms, I’m not a doctor, so I won’t play one on the internet. Instead, I’ve been exploring the deeper space within me where these traits originate. I know they’re a part of me—but what part? Who are you in there, and how can I nurture us so that we don’t resort to creating drama or conflict unnecessarily?

I know I’m a bit of an odd duck, and I recognize that some may see my beliefs and ideals as utopian. I’m perfectly okay with that, because I truly believe in the goodness of humanity. I also believe that I carry the spark of life—of God—within me, just as you do. With this belief comes an understanding that I can create my own magic by manifesting a beautiful life—or, admittedly, by generating unnecessary drama. For the most part, I feel the quality of my life is within my control. I get to choose how I face each day through my attitude, actions, and reactions. I also believe that the people around us—our friends and family—hold up mirrors, allowing us to see ourselves through the circumstances life presents. These reflections are here to teach us and help us grow.

Last week, my adventure sister, Stacy Crep, and I were planning our Boundary Waters trip for this summer. We discussed our intentions for the trip and what we both hoped to gain from this deep wilderness experience. Typically, it’s just the two of us. We wander the forest as though we’re Queens in a wall-less castle, under the canopy of trees. For me, the forest feels as comforting and healing as home.

This year, we considered how meaningful it might be to share this spiritual experience with others we love. We decided to invite a couple of friends to join us. Initially, I hesitated. Deep down, I felt a little selfish. I wanted to preserve this experience as it’s always been—just the two of us. I’m someone who values close, intimate relationships far more than large groups or casual conversations about work or the weather. I’m a deep thinker, always pondering the mysteries of life, as is my soul sister, Stacy. We have a soulful connection that I cherish deeply, and I wasn’t ready to share that sacred space with others just yet.

I labeled my feelings as selfish, but upon reflection, I don’t believe they stem from selfishness at all. Instead, I think they arise from the vulnerable part of me—the inner child—who isn’t quite ready to share this time with Stacy yet. That inner voice quietly whispered, “Not yet. This time is still ours.”

About a week after Stacy and I agreed to bring others to the Boundary Waters, I found myself struggling to sleep. I lay awake, pondering the shift in my emotions about a trip that I’m usually excited for. Instead, I felt uneasy. I knew I had to honor these feelings and share them with Stacy; otherwise, I risked acting out in ways that might create unnecessary drama.

Thankfully, Stacy and I have built a friendship grounded in mutual respect. I value her deeply because we can be fully honest with each other. She understands that how I feel is just as important as how she feels. When I shared my thoughts about including others on this sacred adventure, I unintentionally triggered a reaction in Stacy. She, too, felt the pull to create conflict but chose instead to step back and see the situation for what it was: two women communicating their feelings honestly.

In our conversation, Stacy admitted that the little girl inside of her wanted to stomp her foot and say, “Fine. I’m not going then.” Her honesty struck me because I understood completely—that’s exactly what the vulnerable little girl inside of me wanted to say, too! There we were, two grown women, candidly acknowledging our vulnerabilities. That level of honesty opened the door to a deeper dialogue about honoring our true feelings. In the end, we worked together to find a compromise that felt right for both of us. The experience was liberating, and it brought us even closer.

This exchange helped me realize that I don’t always react in the most mature way. But in that realization, I’ve learned to dig deeper into my own soul. Being honest with myself about who I am on the inside allows me to validate my needs—not just project the version of myself I want others to see. When I am honest with my true self, I find it easier to approach all my relationships with authenticity and respect—not only for their needs but for my own as well. If I ignore or suppress my feelings, I tend to act out in ways that aren’t aligned with my best self.

Is this true for you, too? Do you have a part of you that screams to be heard? How does that part express itself—does it ask for help, or does it yearn for validation?

I’d love to start a conversation about this delicate subject. Do you honor the vulnerable inner child within you? Or does recognizing weakness make your ego step in and send those hurt feelings to the shadows, where they fester until they explode? Is it your inner child, or is it your ego—or perhaps even your inner child’s ego? What is that voice trying to say?

I believe it’s essential to look within ourselves for the answers we seek. I trust that we are wise beings, even when we don’t always act that way. I believe there’s a part of God within each of us—a Spirit or Soul that holds deep intuition and grace. When we’re quiet enough to listen, aware enough to ask, and willing to grow, we can tap into that wisdom. The choice to nurture it or neglect it is ultimately up to us.

 

Namaste

Emy Minzel 

https://emyminzel.com

 

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OH! The drama!

emyminzel

Why do I seem to be so drawn to drama when it is the one of the things I say I do not want? I seem to always be seeking peace, yet I find my personality is sometimes rather dramatic about events happening in the world or around me. I recently came down with a cold and I lost my smell, it frightened me but how I reacted was kind of funny now that I am well, and the fog of my sickness has cleared.  You would think that the world was collapsing around me and all I was able to think about was that I couldn’t smell it or my coffee! The drama I tell you! (Insert fainting gesture here.)

For real, I SAY I don’t like drama, but when life is going well, and I have nothing to complain about I seem to make things up to add a little excitement into life. Have you ever notice yourself doing that? It’s kind of hilarious. I over think like it is an Olympic sport. If I could get ‘steps’ for the laps I run around up in my head I would exceed my goal every day. Isn’t it great that we can notice these things about ourselves, so we can try to act in a different way next time the opportunity to over react comes around? Self- awareness is a liberating, eye opening and sometimes humbling experience if you can let it be. I am choosing to laugh at myself now that I can see my situation from a calmer perspective. I can also choose to see that I do in fact have a tendency to be just slightly dramatic….. sigh.

I just find how contradicting I can be as a person fascinating. I SAY it is my goal to be peaceful, content, kind, and full of love. Then I create controversy where there may not be a need to stir things up. I wonder what part of me needs this chaos to feel fulfilled? What is the purpose of choosing to fluff up the negative aspects of a day or situation instead of finding the blessings or good things instead?  Is it my inner child in need of attention? Is it my ego saying look at me? Is it need to feel soothed, and loved?

Of course; I don’t always over react, I try to be calm and easy going about most of the situations life offers. It is just funny to me that I see how I can, and do, get carried away sometimes. To be fair, I mean I temporarily lost one for the five senses… That’s kind of a big deal! However; I see I probably should have cooled my dramatic acting scene and let my cold pass before declaring anosmia. But what fun is that?

Scene End.

Have your ever caught yourself adding drama in your life? What do you think makes you do it? I’d love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

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