Have you ever started a diet or exercise routine, vowing to buckle down and get in shape? Then, only a week or two later, you’ve had enough and just throw in the towel altogether. I am willing to bet most people have done such a thing once or twice in their lifetime. Why is it that some of us just have the willpower to make these changes stick and others don’t?! Sure, some of it has to do with habits, addictions, laziness and genetics, but what I believe it all boils down to is… self-love.
Recently I started another 40-day Kundalini Kriya practice. I got to day 4 and decided I really didn’t want to do it today. Then came day 5 and 6, with no effort to begin again and this got me thinking. “Why is it so easy to break promises to myself? Why is okay to let myself down when I would not do that to someone else?” It was as if I heard my angels talking to me; because after asking these questions the answer seemed so simple yet jarring. I heard. “Love yourself.”
It doesn’t even have to be health related. It can be that you are sick of your job. Everyday you come home burnt out, frustrated and angrily telling yourself. “I need a new job!” You truly want to look for another one but are just not able to get yourself to make the move you desire. So, you keep suffering, because the devil you know is better than the unknown right?
Again, I think this self-sabotaging behavior is just about the lack of self-love. Because you don’t know how to love yourself, or care deeply about your own wellbeing and all that entails, you can’t foster your own happiness. Like they say, the struggle is real. Maybe it’s based on the way I was raised. The biggest role models in my life have always been care-takers who have followed this same pattern.
My grandmother and mother worked very hard daily, taking care of others, with little time for themselves. Always putting other’s needs before their own. It was what they were taught to do and expected of them. Now that I am older and willing to look within, I see myself doing the very same thing. I believe this lack of knowledge, or examples on how to love myself fully, is what subconciously lays beneath the surface of my failures.
It’s time to break this cycle and keep promises made to myself. Some of us are better at self-care than others. When I say self-love, I mean all that encompasses caring for yourself; mind, body and spirit. Even financial wellness habits are included in what’s for, or not for our greatest and highest good. It is a lot to deal with everyday when you look at it all entails while still tending to lifes demands.
Yet, it all comes down to Self-love. Period. I feel this self-awareness is coming to me for a reason. When it feels as if life is consistently kicking me in the face, it’s because I’m just not listening to the whispers of wisdom, I know I hold deep down inside. It is divine guidance demanding me to ‘level-up’ for my own good. Yesterday I restarted a 40-day practice of Nabhi Kriya, along with other dietary and behavior changes as a promise to me.
I promise to prove my love to myself as consistantly as I try to prove my love for others. I promise to love myself enough to say no to what insults my inner wisdom. I promise to grab my self-care habits by the lapel and remind them I am not F’ng around with this gift of life I’ve been blessed with. I am worthy of my own love and care. I know I’m good at it!
It’s up to me and only me to keep these promises to myself. I hold the power, the passion and the determination to keep these promises. I must not rely on others for my own accountability or understanding. Even though it is nice to feel supported; when it comes down to it… it’s still all up to me. Every promise to change can only come from within and the resolve to love myself fully for my greatest good.
I promise to remind myself of all of this, when I want to quit.
To everyone struggling to practice self-love, break habits and make hard changes, I see you. I love you. You are not alone. We got this.