#BoundaryWatersCanoeArea, #naturelover, #signs, #teamwork

Prove It First

There was a public hearing at the Minnesota Senate Building Monday February 24th, 2025. It was to bring awareness and support for proposed Legislation drafted to protect Minnesota from the threats from Copper-Nickel Sulfide Mining.

I was born in Virginia, Minnesota raised on the iron range during the boom. My family has many connections and years of experience in iron ore mines. We are a working-class family, full of sportsmen and women, with respect for the jobs that support us. My connection to the arrowhead region is my heritage. I grew up swimming in the delightfully cold Lake Vermilion with my family.

I cherish the memories I continue to enjoy while visiting the pristine waters in the BWCA each year. We are blessed in Minnesota. Sometimes I think we may be so used to these blessings that we take for granted the quintessential Minnesota way of life. Lake life.

If we are not careful, we will lose what makes our beloved state so great. Look around the nation my friends…

Our fresh water is dwindling quickly. Fact: Over half of the water in Minnesota is already too polluted to eat the fish or drink from. Statistics say that by 2050 over half the population in the nation will have difficulty finding clean drinking water!

This is why I am so passionate about protecting the water in Minnesota. The desire to protect the BWCA is what inspired me to run for the State House of Representative in 2018. Then again for Minnesota State Senate in 2022. Though I did not win, I am still a passionate environmental advocate. Which is why I attended this hearing and support these bills. Now I would like to offer a summary of what I learned.

This is a summary; I will provide a link for the full 52 pages of hearing testimonies below. I am sharing so that you can contact your state representatives and ask them to support these very important pieces of legislation. This is not a democrat nor republican issue; this is a Minnesota issue.

Our water is what makes Minnesota special. We all understand that water is life. Even if we don’t see eye to eye on other subjects. Most of us agree that protecting our Minnesota way of life from foreign invasions with nefarious intentions is something that needs to happen.

Here’s what you should know.

The Prove it First Bill SF1382 /HF 954. Simply request that an applicant seeking a permit to operate a copper-sulfide mine must prove that such a mine can be operated and closed without causing pollution. They must prove an example of a copper-sulfide mine that has been operated for 10 years and has been closed for 10 years without causing pollution.

Bad Actor Bill SF 1744 / HF 1197. This bill would ban Minnesota from issuing nonferrous mining permits to ‘bad actors’ who have already violated specific international laws. Including corruption, bribery, or destruction of natural resources. This common-sense legislation would ensure the legacy of Minnesota’s clean water is not placed in the hands of notorious international mining conglomerates with no regard for Minnesota’s environment or its residents.

Taxpayer Protection Act SF1383 / HF955. Taxpayer protection act would require nonferrous (non-iron) mining companies to fully fund any financial assurance package upfront and in cash. This would protect Minnesota taxpayers from being forced to pay for any environmental clean-up resulting from the nonferrous mining operations. Currently the regular operating methods of these companies are to leave a toxic mess and the clean up bill to the taxpayers by simply declaring bankruptcy.

The Friends of the Boundary Waters Executive Director and Lawyer Chris Knopf shared his personal story that led him to this fight to protect the Boundary Waters.

Chris grew up in Cleveland, Ohio. Which became world famous when its river was so polluted it caught fire. That is not the kind of legacy we want to be famous for in Minnesota. He then informed us that Minnesota does not currently have laws to protect its clean water against industrial invasion. Secondly Minnesota regulators are unable to properly enforce the flimsy laws already in the books. That is why they need public support and help reach lawmakers in all districts of Minnesota.

Minnesota State Senator Jen McEwan gave a passionate speech in support of keeping the Minnesota we know and love safe from foreign land grabbers only here to take, pollute and leave. She reiterated that the false narrative that this mine is needed to support green energy is just a marketing wordplay to confuse citizens and lawmakers too. In no way is copper sulfide mining a reasonable way to support green energy simply by how it is produced.

Senator McEwan’s speech was inspiring, and heart felt. Leaving us all with the important task of making sure we do the work of contacting our local representatives and telling them to support this bill. She told the large crowd in attendance. It’s important for you to make noise and get this issue the attention it needs to pass bipartisan legislation!

Dr. Steven Emerman has been a professor of geology for over 30 years and worked in issues related to water and mining for over 40 years. His three main points to share were:

  1. Sulfide-ore mining poses a threat to clean water
  2. The sulfide mining industry has a perfect track record of water pollution
  3. The pollution caused by sulfide mining lasts forever.

He ends his testimony stating. The notion that this kind of mining has been done without polluting the surrounding water systems is simply a myth. The toxic tailings will be a permanent catastrophic curse left for every future generation to come to Minnesota.

Fred Campbell is a retired hydrologist who worked with the MN DNR on the Regional Copper Nickel Study. He’s worked in copper nickel mineral exploration data for numerous mining companies including AMAX, Polymet, Twin Metals and Talon. Proving the tailings of these mining operations are indeed toxic everywhere and do not ever dilute or diminish.

These pollutants have been proven to have effects on human health and the environment with catastrophic impact. His research proves the legacy of sulfide mining sites and districts are all now included on the EPA’s National Priorities Superfund List. (Superfund site is taxpayer-funded environmental cleanup caused by industrial corporate pollution.)

Campbell says Minnesota’s existing legal and regulatory framework cannot protect us from the dangers of sulfide mining. Minnesota needs to enact “Prove it First” and other legislation to permanently protect the BWCA and other sensitive areas.

The Commissioner of Natural Resources for the Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe Kelly Applegate spoke on the long history of sulfide mines irreversibly damaging watersheds. Leaving a legacy of contamination long after the mines are closed or abandoned. He reminds us that water has no boundaries and ripple across the environment into our wetlands, communities and drinking water.

Critical drinking water sources will be in danger throughout the watersheds to the Mississippi river, St. Croix River watersheds and Lake Superior. Without proof that pollution free operations are possible, allowing sulfide mining in Minnesota is a high stakes experiment for the entire ecosystem they are not willing to be part of.

Applegate declared “Our efforts are grounded in our community to preserve Minnesota’s natural environment and water resources for generations to come. There is an Anishinaabe teaching that our people have. We care for our Earth, for those yet unborn and the next seven generations to come. If we make good decisions, we can protect the earth and water and know the next seven generations can have a good life.”

Bob Tammen from Soudan, MN worked on the iron range in the mines. He states. “I worked during the boom of the 1970’s and the bust of the late 80’s and the ups and downs afterwards. During a lifetime of mining I’ve gathered a lot of knowledge of the environmental consequences of our mining activities.”

Referring to the Dunka mines that were closed in 1994. The runoff from that Duluth complex materials is still degrading Birch Lake and running into the Boundary Waters. The State of Minnesota and the mining industry have had over 30 years to work on that problem! And they still don’t have it cleaned up.

Minnesota’s three major watersheds come together on the property of the Hibbing taconite plant. Rainfall at that junction will partly go north to Canada and Hudson Bay, east to Lake Superior, and South to the Mississippi River down to the Gulf of Mexico.

Our water is moving. The failure to clean up Dunka should be a warning that the State of Minnesota is not likely to be able to regulate Twin Metals, PolyMet or Talon, which would respectively pollute The Boundary Waters, Lake Superior and the Mississippi River. When we fight to protect Minnesota’s water, we’re also fighting to protect the water flowing to Detroit and Winnipeg and New Orleans. When we defend Minnesota’s water, we’re defending everybody’s water.

With the wisdom of all his years Bob made a point nobody can argue with, he said. “Eventually, someone else is going to get our water. Let’s be good stewards and send them clean water. Pass Prove It First.

Mike Maleska is an Iron ore miner of 42 years now retired and the local Union President. In his statement in support of the Prove It First bill he says.

Consider this; the companies that intend to undertake this venture are in it for profit. Without proof or evidence these companies make claims such as ‘modern technology and science have made pollution a thing of the past!’ believe me, I hear it all the time.

Now what if the citizens come to believe that copper-nickel mining can be done without polluting without proof. Then our state and federal agencies come to believe it too?

If these false claims are taken to be true by the state and federal agencies gullible enough to permit these mines. We end up allowing the world’s most polluting industry, operating a mine in the most pristine part, of the most pristine state in the USA…

As a former miner and elected union rep, I know that shutting down a mine is incredibly difficult, one might say impossible, never mind how dirty it is. What I want to see is some courage from our legislators to make the mining companies do one simple thing. Show proof that they won’t pollute before they’re allowed to put a shovel in the ground.

Eric Ini.

Eric Ini, Chief Equity and Partnership Officer for the Minnesota Center for Environmental Advocacy.

Eric Ini is from Cameroon, a country in Central Africa with diverse economy and like Minnesota, rich in natural resources. He spoke with a powerful message of caution.

“With companies like Glencore doing business with the government of Cameroon, the potential to alleviate poverty is almost impossible. Glencore’s track record of corruption is alarming. I have witnessed firsthand the corrupt practices of Glencore in my home country.

Glencore’s bribes to government officials were not limited to securing oil and gas contracts but also to secure deals to pay reduced taxes and royalties. In Cameroon the company flew millions of dollars on a private jet to bribe government officials, securing lucrative contracts.

This corruption perpetuated poverty, inequity and environmental degradation, causing irreparable harm to our communities. Glencore’s corrupt practices are not limited to Cameroon. Accusations of bribery and corruption are filed in Nigeria, Gabon, other African countries, globally in England, Brazil, UK and America.

NJ Ayuk, a Cameroonian and Chairman of the African Energy Chambers has publicly stated that Glencore is the worst company in the Energy Sector. It’s surprising that countries continue to do business with them.

By barring corrupt and polluting companies from operation in Minnesota. The Bad Actor Bill is designed to prevent what happened in my native county from happening in Minnesota.

I urge you to prioritize the wellbeing of Minnesotans over the profits of this Swiss-based company. Our state’s environment and communities deserve better than to be put at risk by a company with a proven track record of pollution, corruption and disregard for the law.”

Alan Thometz is a Senior Finance Lecturer for the University of Minnesota. He told us he grew up in Butte Montana, home of the largest mining Superfund site in the US. Butte has been at the center of America’s most extensive industrial cleanup efforts for decades. This former copper mine remains one of the most toxic sites in the Nation. Summary of his statement says.

“Superfund designation is proof that financial assurance has failed. There are 1,340 Superfund sites across the country, representing 1,340 instances where companies have avoided their financial obligations, leaving taxpayers to bear the cleanup costs.

Here is an extraordinary fact; Mining companies use bankruptcy as a strategic tool to avoid their environmental cleanup responsibilities. This is not an accident. THIS IS HOW THEY DO BUSINESS.

The five largest global mining companies with Glencore being the biggest, collectively generated $427 BILLION in revenue and $52 BILLION in operating income over the last 12 months…. These companies are far from struggling. Mining companies are incentivized to file for bankruptcy when the ore runs out. The law allows them to return profits to shareholders while leaving environmental liabilities unpaid. Debt obligations should be paid before investors receive returns.

Minnesota’s current financial assurance laws fail to protect its environment and taxpayers.  It’s time to fix this broken system. We must require mining companies to fully fund their cleanup responsibilities in bankruptcy-proof escrow accounts. This is financial assurance that works. This is how we protect our environment and our taxpayers. Let’s get it done!”

In contrast to the older men who spoke before her. The last person to testify in support of these important bills was a fresh-faced 18-year-old.

Clair Peterson is a freshman attending the University of Minnesota. She is studying to be an Environmental Engineer. I am quoting most of her testimony verbatim because she moved familiar emotions in many.

Clair said, “Two years ago I was able to visit the Boundary Waters Canoe Area for the first time in my 16 years of existence. It might be confusing as to why someone who has just started college, has only been to the Boundary Waters once, and has little experience in political activism, is here to speak to you today. Despite this, I know, without a doubt, that the Boundary Waters is a special place.

It has the ability to connect people to each other and the world around them in a way that not other place can. While I was in the Boundary Waters I got to see loons, and snapping turtles, beavers, minks and garter snakes and eagles. I even got to hug a 1,000-year-old cedar tree!

I hauled 30-pound bags and canoes through the wilderness for four days. My crew and I woke up at 5am every morning so we could get an early start on paddling. We had to work together to support and motivate each other through long portages. It was hard, but through it, I got to connect with my peers. It was a beautiful and wonderful experience that I am deeply privileged to have shared with my friends. I know I will cherish the memories I made in the Boundary Waters for the rest of my life.

My hope for the future is that young people like myself, can continue to discover and fall in love with the Boundary Waters. Where they can witness unspoiled beauty year after year. The decision to pass these bills – Prove It First, the Bad Actor Bill, and the Taxpayer Protection Act will not only affect the next 20 years, it will affect the next 70 years of my life. I, for one, would much rather spend the rest of my life planning trips to the Boundary Waters with my family rather than trying to cleanse it of sulfide sludge.

I urge you to act.

The Boundary Waters is a sanctuary that should be preserved for the future. Just as people need the Boundary Waters, the Boundary Waters needs us.”

Out of the mouths of babes… Clair’s testimony moved me to tears with her earnest passion and love for nature. There were dozens of children in attendance at the hearing. Reminding us it’s more than just the facts that are important. The future generation needs us to do this right now.

Clair understood how to articulate the feeling you get after your very first visit to the BWCA. It only takes one trip to feel there is a sacredness in the pristine waters and forest of the beloved Boundary waters Canoe Area.

After my first visit to the BWCA I came home telling everyone I was certain. That’s where God lives.

What Minnesota has is more than clean water and mineral resources. We host the responsibility to protect the sacredness of its purity. A place so special nowhere else in the country can boast. One that must be protected by the Prove it First bill.

Link to Hearing minutes:

Friends of the Boundary Waters Proposed Legislation – Google Drive

Educational video link:

#signs, #spiritual, #teamwork, adventure, Boundary Waters Canoe Area

Canoe Tipping, Loons and the Portage to Nowhere

Lessons Through Joy!

Chapter 4

Authored by Emy Minzel

After our first portage we felt invigorated, and proud of ourselves. Something as simple as crossing an unknown path and coming out to a majestic lake atmosphere reminds me of the true meaning of life. No hustle and bustle of the daily grind, this was what the ‘real world’ supposed to be. Yet, we still had to work to do, to get where we were going.

Team work was a lesson that kept reoccurring in my life. Carrying the supplies together through 3 portages made light work getting to our campsite. We only had to make two trips to cross the portages the first year. Looking back, I believe it was the Universe taking it easy on us. It was the perfect trip to get me hooked and addicted to her beauty and slow flow.

We camped on Bass Lake and true to its name, it was well stocked. I remember dropping breadcrumbs at the shore of the boulder beach in the evenings watching them waiting for morsels, like my pets. I have a fondness for loons, and they were everywhere. Laughing their loony laugh in the morning, singing a lingering lullaby each night. There were loon families passing by our campsite consistently. It felt very synchronistic. At the time I was living on Loon Drive.  

We let the loons guide us to fishing spots. Figuring they were the experts on knowing where the fish were. As I cast my line. Stacy said to me “Be careful honey, you don’t want to catch a loon.”

I had not even thought about that. “Oh, Geeze! … you’re right. Thank you!”

She knew me well, and my animal loving heart would have been beside myself had I snagged a loon by being careless. Not to mention it is very illegal. We love and protect the Minnesota State Bird dontchyaknow! 

During one of these fishing excursions, we were catching fish left and right. We would help each other net the fish. Then take it off the hook for one another so we wouldn’t rock the boat. I caught a fish and while Stacy was leaning over the side of the boat to scoop it in the net. We both leaned a little too much and before we knew what happened the canoe was tipping over.

It felt like slow motion. I was looking at her. She was looking at me. Both of us had eyes wide as owls. There was no time for words. Stacy intuitively did what had to do at the time to keep the boat from sinking. She willingly took a header into the lake to save the boat and everything in it. SPLOOSH!

Stacy went in the drink… still the canoe was taking on water quickly. Sinking a rented canoe and our only way back to civilization is just not a good idea. I quickly leaned to the right doing my best to get the canoe level. Before we knew it, Stacy was in the water, and the canoe had about a foot of water in it.

Stacy is a Pisces; I tease her about being part mermaid because she loves to be in the water. That is one of my favorite things about our friendship. Having fun friends to play in the water with is a blessing I cherish. Thank goodness for her natural ability to swim and fortunately the water was warm that year.

I looked at her with a face full of worry. “Oh Sh**! Are you ok?!”

Still processing the surprise of being in the water she replied. “Yep, I’m good!”

The sudden aftershock of it got her giggling. As she held on to the side of the canoe and I paddled to the jagged shoreline. She was laughing the whole way. Once I knew she was ok, I started laughing too, and then we just couldn’t stop. Both giggling and laughing uncontrollably.  

We had to try several times and in different locations to empty the canoe. We really did a number. Pulling the waterlogged canoe up on the steep, woody, rocky shoreline wasn’t easy. We’d try to lift the front of the canoe, then the back of it wanted to sink and take on more water…it was so darn heavy. With teamwork, we finally accomplished it; while laughing! Thankfully, we can still chuckle about this event.

Being the spiritual women we are. We are continuously looking for meaning and signs in our everyday lives. I believe Spirit doesn’t always use words to communicate. It can utilize people, places, animals, music, signs, events, etc. to get my attention. This belief has helped us grow more in tune with ourselves, each other and our connection to the Universe/Spirit.

I believe the giggling reaction was a divinely guided instinctive response… a therapeutic laugh! Our souls knew we must release the tension of that starling experience. The laughter vibrationally dispersed the energy of anxiety instead of allowing it to stay with us. I believe it was a celestial intervention so we could continue to adventure together again and with trust.

Loons are water birds. Water is connected to intuition, emotions and divine feminine energy. The message from the beautiful birds was to begin going deeper within myself. It was also a sign to start analyzing my dreams and decipher triggers that stir up big feelings.

We believe dreams we have while sleeping are our subconscious communicating with us. To this day Stacy and I will share poignant dreams texting one another to help us process the meaning of them. Acknowledging these subliminal messages has connected us deeply to trust our higher consciousness.  

The prominent presence of the loon our first year was a significant sign. Guiding me to the beginning of my spiritual awakening. It was the year I was able to start doing the inner work of releasing fears, and self-limiting patterns. I took the loons advice and started diving deep into the mysteries of my soul. Learning to acknowledge my intuition and trust the guidance of my instincts deeply over the years.

Speaking of receiving signs from above… They say you get what you ask for. This rang true for me on our first BWCA Adventure. On the day we tipped the canoe; I was starting to get a little overconfident. I figured we portaged no problem, set up camp like champs, and made a fire with damp wood. We were rocking this adventure!  

For some reason after completing a task I kept saying… “Does anyone know any hard games?!”

That day I got what I asked for. Yet, because I had asked a few times… the Universe kept giving.

It was still our first trip to the BWCA and the second day. We decide we wanted to adventure to the next lake over. We packed a day pack, with water and granola bars and headed south on the canoe until we saw a clear path. We paddle the canoe to shore; Stacy hiked the canoe up on her shoulders and we began hiking.

We must have walked a mile or more in portage mode. Passing a few hikers on the way. Some of them did look at us with concern and somewhat confused. But we did not know we were not on the intended trail. After a while I was starting to get suspicious that we may not be going where we thought we were headed? Stacy lowered the canoe, and we left it on the side of the path while we hiked up the trail further.

After a trek we consulted the map again, discovering we must have read it wrong. This time we saw the trail we were on was only leading to more trails. If we wanted to get to another lake, we would be hiking/portaging for quite a few more miles. We had just embarked on a long “portage to nowhere.”

As we say here in Minnesota… OPE!

Darn! We had to turn around and head back to where we came from. I was annoyed at first, thinking I could/should do better. I have been the map reader for most of the time on our trips. It’s something I enjoy and usually do well. This was our first adventure and at the time I considered it unacceptable that I let this happen.

I wasn’t perturbed because we went on a ‘portage to nowhere”. I was upset because I know how important it is to read a map correctly. It is the only way to get where you are going and back to the entry/exit points in the Boundary Waters. Google Maps won’t save you in the wilderness. Even though we always do our best to make our adventures fun, there are still very real dangers we must be aware of.

Navigating is a skill all BWCA Adventurers absolutely need to learn. I am often harder on me than anyone else would be. And I had just proven to myself that thoughts become things. I found out that was not a great idea to be asking for harder games! After that, I didn’t feel so confident taunting the Universe. It was yet another reminder the Universe is truly listening.

I learned the outcomes are better when I change my thoughts and vibe my best intentions. It has made me be more purposeful when communicating my intentions to the Universe. I can choose to change my energy by doing yoga, meditating, walking the dog, call a friend, nap… I must do absolutely everything I can to get low vibin’ energy shifted before the Universe responds in kind.

The Universe was reiterating for me to ask for what I want. Not what I don’t want. Although, the silver lining was this ‘harder game’ has made me a very conscious and cautious route planner since! Same goes for my navigating my thoughts. What you think is how you feel! How you “feel” is the vibrational energy you are tuning into the Universe with. True story.

These are great memories and hilarious experiences, thankfully. We were lucky and safe. I don’t take that protection for granted. I am grateful it was Stacy with me during these adventures and tests offered in the BWCA. We balance each other almost as steadily as the scales of justice most of the time. Working together to get through these challenges; choosing not to dwell on these mishaps, is a key ingredient in sustaining the joy of all our BWCA adventures.

Year after year, we learned we were able to trust and depend on each other. Each of us putting in our best efforts to fully support a safe and joyful journey together. We learned that we appreciated the unique skills we both brought. I can’t help but think this philosophy must ring true in my daily life.

I do my best to appreciate differences. Keep my chin up. Laugh at my blunders. If I stumble down the wrong path doesn’t mean it won’t be a good story to tell later. By choosing to be with great company and finding people who know how to be a team, and willing to carry part of the load, it was easy to enjoy the journey.

I can recognize that those bloopers we endured together helped us develop the wisdom and trust we deeply appreciate in each other now. These are the types of relationships that feed my soul and support leveling up of my spirit. I love and value my best friend and Adventure Sister Stacy very much. Which leads me to tell the Universe what I want… Yes. Thank you! More please!

Sending blessing and much love,

Emy Minzel

Heart Centered, Nature Lover, Writer, Advocate, Adventurer, Yogi, and so much more…

EmyMinzel.com

#lifelessons, #teamwork, Innerwork

Good talk, honey.

This past weekend I was lucky to spend time with my husband not doing anything but enjoying his company. Somedays it’s nice not to have a full schedule of to do’s, as he’s my favorite person to do nothing with! This weekend gave us time to catch up with each other as we sat under the porch while it rained and talked. We shared a blanket, deep thoughts, and held hands. It was a moment that brought us both contentment. We just enjoyed being together while watching a storm pass.

Holding on to each other while letting the storm blow over made me contemplative. Isn’t this a perfect metaphor for marriage? Having your best friend by your side while the weather or life rages around us is a blessing. I see how lucky I am to have him helping me through the toughest times. Truthfully, there are times when I forget just how fortunate I am. The Universe brings me beautiful relationships, a career I enjoy, and a life with freedom to be me.

I have found it’s during the stormy days that tend to make the most meaningful conversations and form deeper connections. This weekend was no different. During our peaceful rainy day together, my husband, Jason and I found ourselves in philosophical discussions. We discussed a recent rocky spell in our life, and how going through it so separately made us realize what we could lose. We saw how eventually it helped us grow closer and more thankful for each other.

I find it not so funny that we seemed to have to get so close to losing each other before we realized just how much we love and need another. Has any such situation happened to you? When something terrible happens, it decidedly changes your perspective on life from that moment forward. It could be a tragic event that changes you almost immediately, or in our case, it took us years to go through this lesson together.

Isn’t this how we get ‘experience’ and how people grow wisdom? It’s also how we grow empathy, fear, and doubts. It is why people have a crisis of faith, life crisis, or breakdowns that alter who we once were. My best friend just went through something just like this. Life changing moments and lessons that agitate you from the inside and show us what spills out. Do we trust our guidance after our foundation has been shaken? What do we think when we don’t know what to think anymore?

Sometimes life is hard, adulting isn’t as fun as it looks on TV and our lives aren’t as perfect as we’d like them to be. It was nice to take a beat and sit on the front porch holding hands with the man I love. I realized just how thankful and blessed I am to have such a beautiful family life. It reminded me to stop my complaining and nitpicking about my husband or anyone else! I have learned to be grateful for the man he is and the loved ones that put up with me!

After all, I am no saint, I can be challenging and demanding, and he loves me anyway. Although I am thankful, sometimes, I see myself complaining about my blessings when they feel heavy. Adventure Sister Stacy wears a bracelet that helps remind her to count her blessing instead of her complaints. Recently she gifted me two of these bracelets. She gave me two because she said. “They break easily, or I complain a lot.” Now I understand what she means.

It’s easy to get in the habit of voicing our complaint because when we are vocal of our blessings, we don’t want to seem like we are bragging. We don’t want others to think we are boastful, so we diminish our blessings of a great life by complaining about the small stuff. This ‘rough patch’ ended up shining a spotlight on the value of our perfectly imperfect marriage.

As my husband and I poured our souls into our conversation and the moments of peace, we both realized the blessing of our love and the life we share. I am better with him, and he is better with me because we are a team. There is nobody else I trust as much to have my back, or I want on my team more than my husband. He helps me grow, loves me as I am, and makes me crazy in all the best ways that make life enjoyable. That’s family for you.

I just wanted to drop you a note to remind you and myself, that it is okay to speak of the good stuff as passionately as we voice our displeasure. I don’t know about you, but I need to hear the good that is happening in the world today. Please tell me about your baby’s first step, or how your youngest son graduated high school if you won a ton at Bingo or how grateful you are to have a good day!

Then, let me tell you what a great guy my husband is, and just how lucky I feel to be me. I am so thankful for my husband, my family, and my friends, that I cannot even contain my feels. Love swells in my heart and slips out my eyes for the blessing of my imperfectly perfect life. I am also thankful for my blessings in disguise; I am grateful for the blessings that stayed even when I forgot to be thankful.

It’s remarkable what I learn sitting on the porch in the rain holding hands with my husband: good talk, honey, good talk.

Sending love, blessings, and joy,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

#lifelessons, #teamwork, Innerwork

Mirror Mirror on the wall…

Who’s the most stubborn of them all?

Have you heard of the psychological concept called mirroring? It is something people do subconsciously when communicating with each other. Sometimes it helps people seem charming, sociable and friendly. Other times, when we see something in others that we do ourselves but aren’t aware of, it can rub us the wrong way. It will change the way you perceive someone on a subliminal level, both in a good and bad way.

Sometimes we will mimic body languages like smiling, crossing our legs or arms while having a conversation. This involuntary movement helps us connect on a personal level beyond our words. I have heard, that when you notice or perceive an undesirable characteristic in others, it is because you possess the same trait yourself. If you do not like this quality about yourself, you are not going to like it in another person.

Most of the time we do not even know we are mirroring others, or see ourselves in another, although it is a very human attribute. Stacy and I recently had the experience of mirroring each other with our strong wills. I know who she is. I love it that she is strong-willed, determined, driven, and will tell me how she feels even if it is hard. I find it a giant blessing to have a good friend who wears her crown as proudly as I like too! I love these qualities, and we mirror each other in this way.

We have a lot of things in common and robust will power is just one of them. But as you may have guessed, if we turn our willfulness and face each other instead of the world… Well… “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who’s the most stubborn of them all?” Our Boss Queen Crowns get lock horned into a stronghold, and there we are. Crowns crossed and face to face; mirroring our sister.

Well, what do you do then? Since Stacy is a dear friend of mine, I decided its best to take some time and stepped back to contemplate how I was going to handle this delicate matter. I do not want to hurt her but… “I’m right, and she’s wrong.” I know this isn’t true and can guarantee Stacy was thinking the same thing about me! Truth is somewhere in the middle; now it was up to us to find common ground.

Had we not realized we were indeed mirroring each other’s attributes or that we put our friendship before our stubbornness, we would probably still be crown locked. I could easily see how this type of mirroring could be damaging to a relationship or even an everyday encounter if not recognized. I think this type of thing happens a great deal in the real world, and how we chose to handle the situation is vital to the outcome.

I think it’s easy to write off a stranger, co-worker or acquaintance for the rest of your life if you feel strongly that you are in the right. Family and close friends are a different story though, you tend to let love override righteousness in favor of peace in most mirroring situations. This happens in mother/daughter or father/son relationships a lot. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree is another way we say it to compare similarities.

Resemblances do not stop us from disagreeing in those moments of discord. What I love about my soul sister and myself is now the same thing that is causing chaos. Mirroring can be very helpful if you are willing to see yourself as others see you. You get the chance to see how it feels to have your behavior inflicted upon yourself and see how you like it.

It can be uncomfortable because growth is often painful. I mean. How, dare she use MY attributes against me?! (Insert sarcasm here.) Seeing myself in my best friends’ actions was awkward. Yet because it was my friend, my response softened, and I did my best to reign in the Boss Queen inside, that likes to call the shots.

I bring up this mystical communication we call mirroring because it’s not talked about much, yet it is used in everyday interactions between all humans. Our exchanges with others very much depends on what kind of energy you are bringing to the situation before you. At work, school, relationships, social media, driving, or at the dinner table. What you put out is what we get back. Attitudes are contagious, so hopefully, we are all doing our best to share sunshine and not BS.

When we see something in another we do not like, maybe it is a sign to go within and fix it in ourselves. Even if we don’t know how to correct our behavior, even noticing our tendencies, is a great way to get to know yourself. I will use this knowledge to temper how I may react in the next similar situation. I think that is how we mature and become the people we want to be. I love using my experiences to grow. I chose to make small changes in myself and do better next time.

If ever I find myself crown locked with another Boss Queen, whether she’s my friend or not. I will stop and see myself in her. I will do my best to practice empathy and really listen to her message. Sometimes, friends and family fight. It is life. But I’ve found it is my willingness to be respectful and negotiate that really allows me to move through to a resolution, that is kind and acceptable for everyone.

This week the mirror showed me a reflection of the Boss Queen inside, getting crown-locked with my soul sister. “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who’s the most stubborn of us all?”

I decided I valued my friendship more than my righteousness. Now I take this lesson and self-awareness into the future with me. I have learned to appreciate the human who mirrors you. It’s a message to help you see yourself. They may be a reflection of you.

Love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

*Photo credit – Pure Heart Memoir

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

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