Now that I have written about getting back on the bike and on track with taking care of my health; I feel like I better get to it! Even though I know it is what I must do, I still seem to be lacking the willpower to do it, and it is stressing me out. I know I am not the only person who struggles with making changes even when they are necessary. Days go by that I don’t make progress or even try to implement the goals I have set.
I wonder to myself. “Why am I so resistant to getting healthier? Why can’t I make myself do all the things I wish to do?”
Instead of pursuing personal and professional goals; every cell in my being says. “Nope, nah, not today. You should hibernate instead! That sounds like a much better plan. How about a nap?!”
I often call myself a walking contradiction. Isn’t it interesting how a person can contradict their own inner knowing, simply because our minds resist our will? It is to me. I know that when I go to gatherings pertaining to subjects that I am interested in. I feel much better than when I do not, because I get to see my friends! Yet it seems to take every ounce of willpower, in my entire being, to make myself go.
Do you feel this way about your own goals and will?
How do we get over these invisible roadblocks that delay our progress? Taking initiative to just do it! Sounds so simple, yet we know it is not. Have my internal wires been crossed? Are these feelings a sign that it is okay to take my time? Is there some innate subconsciousness that purposely sabotages my own success?
I ask myself so many questions that I don’t have the answers to… I am sure you do too.
It is Winter here in Minnesota and the temperature is perfect for hibernation. Every ounce of my get up and go, says. “Nah… no thanks. I’m good right here at home.”
Then my mind says. “Great! You don’t have to go anywhere! There are plenty of things you can do here at home. You could catch up on your ‘to do’ list! You don’t have to go to the gym, you can exercise right at home in the living room. Also, you wanted to write some blogs so… you can exercise later. You know what? You can work on that ‘to do’ list tomorrow. Or the next day, or the day after that…”
Is it the Winter blues or am I still in the grief process; I know I am trying to plow my way through? It is Winter, the time of the year in which we are supposed to slow down, rest and regroup for Spring shenanigans.
Adventure Sister Stacy likes to remind me of divine timing. To trust the process and pace of life. It is nice to think that there is a divine order and timing of our path. Yet, I struggle with my own willpower to do what it is, what I know I ‘should’ be doing and when I think I should do it. Maybe I should just stop ‘shoulding’ myself and lean into the respite I must need.
Does anyone else feel this way?
Some of us are better at allowing ourselves to rest than others. I seem to be finding my lack of willpower and over resting uncomfortable, and it is not helping my mood! But, until I find that willpower again, I am going to try and be gentle with myself. By allowing my soul the break it needs to regroup and recoup in this season.
Maybe there is nothing missing at all? Not my willpower or my ambition. It is, in fact, entirely possible that I am just flowing with the Winter cycle of life.
*Picture is of my boys Gus and Hank in their favorite spot.
Wishing you an abundance of joy and blessings,
With love,
Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister
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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister
Emy Minzel 