Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars is an especially fitting statement when it comes to my husband Jason and I. We are opposite in most of our characteristics from our height difference to our perspectives on life, we are just plain different. They say opposites attract because they find their differences fascinating if they can get past them and except each other for who they are on the inside. Because you love that person you should be able respect their right to their own opinion even if it is the opposite of yours. The love we share is an anchor that lets us see other view points by being able to listen with respect.
That does not mean there is no debating! We often contest each other’s opinions if we strongly disagree with the topic. There are also times we must agree to disagree. However, there are times while pondering his different ideals that they change some of mine. Often it is the way that he does something, that wears off on me when I see the results of his actions. Just because we do things differently doesn’t mean they are wrong, yet after years of practice, I cannot argue with the results. Being as different as we are, there are outlooks and actions that have been rerouted in my life because of my husband’s example. I am very thankful for his examples of;
Forward Thinking: Patience was not ever my strong suit, I have a low tolerance for waiting for what I want. Sometimes I would even give up on goals because I was not seeing results fast enough. I have learned from my husband’s example of sticking with your goals, that patience and persistence do in fact pay off. Even on the days you’d like to punch yourself in the face or shoot yourself in the foot instead of persisting, you must persist. This leads right into the next lesson from my husband which is dedication.
Dedication: Not only to the people you love and the career you wish to excel at but also to what is important to you. Nobody can tell you what it is that you want to dedicate your time and effort too, but it is up to you to act on the goals that tug on your heart. It is also okay to have something for only yourself that you dedicate your time and effort to, it does not have to involve other people. If collecting stamps make you happy, do it with your whole heart, no explanations or apologies needed.
Be Generous: My husband is generous with his financial support and gifts, and also with his time and effort. Time and effort are often times more valuable than other generous contributions. I now see that the quality gift of time and effort can be much more valuable than money. When my husband he goes beyond his comfort zone to build me a bench or table with up cycled items, when he changes oil, or snow blows the driveway and in so many other ways he is there for me, I feel very loved. His generosity extends to his friends and family, he is willing to help others who needs his set of skills, he’s also a great IT guy.
Its Okay to say NO: There is not too much explanation needed for this one. Yet it took me a while to learn from his example. Help someone if you want too. If you don’t want too, or you have other reasons, it is okay to say no and leave it at that. No is a perfectly acceptable answer to something you do not feel right about.
Stand up for yourself: If you are feeling taken advantage of, bullied, manipulated or any other uncomfortable situation stand up for yourself. It matters to your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-respect to have firm boundaries of how you allow others to treat you.
Research stuff: He reminds me that you’re smarter than you think you are all it takes is a little extra effort. In this age of instant information available at your fingertips, its your own fault if you don’t use it. If you are looking to purchase anything, read the reviews first, it saves time and heart ache. If you want to vacation, change careers, be informed about politics or the environment, or want to know anything, research it to your best ability, look for the good and the bad so you are prepared for both.
As residence of Mars and Venus, Jason and I value different actions and abilities. Now that I’ve had plenty of time to observe the differences, I can incorporate the things that I find value in. I am very thankful for these qualities he’s helped me to improve in myself, it helps me to want to inspire him in positive ways as well. I am thankful for my husband and his life lessons that help us grow together and keep improving ourselves for the future.
What have you learned from you’re loved ones that’s changed you for the better? I’d love to hear from you!
Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,
Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister
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Emy Minzel 