Category: #lifelessons

#lifelessons, #spiritual, Uncategorized

Self-Love

Emy Minzel

How Kundalini Yoga taught me what it really means to love myself.

I used to think that self-love was taking time for long baths. It also meant getting a massage. I would go to the spa or take some kind of timeout from the world to focus on myself. Yes! These are all wonderful and necessary things to do for yourself. However, if you really think about it. These things are just bodily upkeep, not self-love.

It occurred to me the thought of routine maintenance was radical to me and so it felt like it was self-love. In some ways, it was true. It showed me that taking time for myself was not something I considered a high priority.

Like many women I was conditioned to give, give, give until I crashed. I reached a point where I literally became sick. My body rebelled due to the lack of care. Does this sound familiar? The self-love I speak of is the kind that nurtures and heals the mind, body, and spirit in a healthy way.

Maybe some people even think of self-love as selfish or something that comes from the ego. “Oh, I’m so great! I’m the best! I am much better than you!” (Inserting sarcasm here.) There are people like this yes, but this is not the kind of self-love I am referring to. Also, I advise you to keep your distance from those folks for many reasons we can discuss another day.

Over the years my thoughts on self-love have swayed from one extreme to the other. None of them were sustainable. As a massage therapist, yoga studio owner and teacher, wife, mother, volunteer, advocate and so much more… I have finally come to realize from experience and witnessing how others do life, what it really means to love yourself.

Trust me, it took many years of learning what self-love NOT was, to see what it truly was. One of my favorite quotes says. “To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.” This is just a funny way to say how we can and do learn from mistakes. It is important to laugh at yourself and show just as much compassion in the way you speak to yourself as you would to a dear friend.

My journey to actualizing self-love is continuous. I keep learning more about myself. I discover what I truly need to be balanced. What I have come to see is that self-love is more about parenting yourself with kind discipline. Listen… If you know me at all. The word discipline makes my skin crawl.

My body and mind even react to the word discipline with disgust. I am now able to see that I’ve stored previous traumas. I experienced abuse of power in the name of discipline. This makes me react this way. Probably this is the reason I rebelled against ‘self-discipline’ for so darn long!

Once I became a young adult, I had allowed myself way too much freedom frequently rocking it till the wheels fell off. The only regular bodily maintenance I did was, so I stayed clean and didn’t die! Sadly, but not uncommon for lots of folks. This was my only self-care back then. Mind, and spirit health were not even on my radar.

Which set me on the path to heal wounds caused by others. It also opened my eyes to the trauma I had inadvertently caused to myself. I know I am not alone here. So, I have done myself a favor and reframed the word discipline in my mind by changing it to self-love. This means doing the things you don’t want to do just because you know it’s good for you.

Like when a parent teaches you brushing your teeth twice a day is important maintenance. I needed to reframe my thoughts on parenting myself. This helped me do the same with my lifestyle choices. It also helped with my time and focus.

I have learned self-love means getting up early. It also means eating dinner a little later to get some exercise in. Exercise is great for my entire being. It is proven exercise has a profound positive effect on your entire being. I’ve learned exercising the body makes the internal systems flow better, it produces endorphins and hormones that boost my mental health, which in turn naturally lifts my spirit. Exercise is truly mind, body, spirit self-love.

When I was able to see exercise that I enjoyed like yoga was not a duty or a bad word. It is truly a gift I can give myself when I make self-love a priority. In yoga we use asana/physical exercise to stress the body then we have savasana which is the rest at the end of our practice. Just like children and puppies… It’s much easier as an adult to rest the body and mind after we have exercised!

Some of us have very physical jobs, like me. Occasionally, just to get up when the house is quiet feels comforting. Having meditative time to myself with my coffee is an act of self-love. Peace, stillness, and rest are just as important as exercise for the mind, body, spirit.

Meditation is really useful if you have an over active mind that likes to chatter. We call that the monkey mind in yoga. Mantra Meditations, Guided meditation or Yoga Nidra are excellent tools to get into the practice of quieting the mind. Being mindful of your inner dialog is also important. Your body hears what you say about it and so does your spirit. Practicing Ahimsa/non-violence and maintaining a kind inner voice can help stabilize your emotional state.

After several 40-day continuous practices of Kundalini yoga kriyas. This discipline showed me that putting my needs and goals first is self-love! Sometimes self-love/discipline looks like saying no to social functions that sound fun but will throw off my schedule or bump into the priorities that are important. If saying yes, makes me feel guilty about letting myself down by not getting what I desire done. It’s not worth it. My needs are important.

Reframing discipline in this way has really changed my outlook on what self-love truly is.

It looks like boundaries on my time, energy, emotional state in my relationships or work life. It looks like putting off chores to fulfill the needs of my body, mind and spirit. Chores are always going to be there. So what if the house is a bit cluttered! People live here gosh darn it! I learned I was able to tackle it better when I was in a balanced state anyway.

Sometimes we think caring for our spirit only happens on Sunday at church. That is not true at all. Caring for your spirit means you feel peaceful, and content. If the other parts of your life are out of tune, there is no way our soul is serene. You can have feelings of stress, anxiety, depression, or exhaustion just from a neglected spirit!  

Maybe self-love means you must take time to heal relationships with your body, people, work, money, time, rest, play or even your creativity. Maybe you need to get your veggies in or subtract something from your diet. The list is endless. Only you know where you are off balance. Your heart and spirit always know.

Taking the time to get quiet and tune into your mind, body and spirit can really scare some people. It doesn’t have to be scary if you reframe the intention behind it into an act of self-love. Going within to ask yourself the introspective questions that matter most is a good place to start when you are feeling uncomfortable inside.

Just ask yourself why am I uncomfortable today? What do I need most to get back into balance? Where can I start? Practicing listening to your intuition connects you to your higher self. The higher self is another way to speak of the inner voice inside of you that knows better. Yet is often overridden by the ego or outside expectations.

When life gets busy or there is just so much going on I must prioritize. I have a few mantras I have given myself that help me give myself permission to take time I need to care for my mind, body, and spirit.

These ones are my favorite.

“I keep the promises I make to myself, because I am worthy of the life I desire.”

“I give myself permission to make time, to create and heal.”

“I get to make the rules for my life!”

“My body is loved, my mind meditated, and life is balanced. I help my soul to smile.”

“I am important. My needs are important. I matter too.”

I have a great friend and kundalini warrior partner. We do the 40-day kriyas together and check in daily with each other to keep track. Even when those kriya challenges are done we often check in almost daily and ask each other. “What have you done today to make yourself feel loved? What are you proud of today?”

It can look like a walk on a nature path with my dog. A long Epsom salt bath and dry brushing to stimulate lymph flow. It can look like taking a nap if that is what I feel I need most that day. It can even look like getting my annoying taxes done so I can move forward and get that off the to-do list! Maybe you need to go out and play with friends, have some tea and connect. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

The point is we make sure to do something for ourselves daily because our health matters to our mental state, and the mental state matters to our spiritual contentment. These habits and rituals did not come naturally to me until I started practicing yoga. Asana yoga was great for my body but finding kundalini yoga changed my life. Encouraging consistency, discipline/self-love, and dedication to my spiritual practice.

It was the yoga that I felt most encompassed a practice that I could do and enjoy doing daily. Kriyas can be extremely challenging or very gentle depending on which kriya you practice. There is so much variety I am never bored. The way it encompassed the mind, body, and spirit part is what got me hooked. If you are interested in finding out more, I welcome you to try it! I offer classes in the studio and online at spiritriveryoga.com.

It felt important to me to share with you how yoga changed my life. It was not all at once, not in one day, or a week. I look forward to seeing how it will continue to transform me from the inside out as I continue down the yoga path. I hope that this article inspires you in some way to see self-love in a different way. May it help propel a positive change of any kind for you.

Much love and many blessings,

Emy Minzel

CMT – 500RYT

Spirit River Yoga and Massage LLC

Spiritriveryogaandmassage.com

Emyminzel.com

#lifelessons, #spiritual, #yoga, Uncategorized

What you should know about Energetic Emotional Release

Emy Minzel

Did you know yoga moves more than just your body?!

As a yogi teacher and massage therapist I have come to see and believe that we hold and store emotions in our physical body. Stress shows in headaches just at the base of the scull, sometimes we lose hair or have digestive issues. Tension, worry and anxiety are often stored in the gut which is part of the solar plexus chakra and moves up to the heart chakra and upper shoulders.

If we are being stubborn and inflexible in life, we sometimes have neck and shoulder pain. This manifests into having low range of motion in the neck from not being able to see another point of view. We hold fear in our psoas and low back, guilt in the middle back and anger in our hearts. The burn of anger radiates from the heart through the upper back and shoulders.

When tragedy happens like losing a loved one or an unexpected loss of a job this affects our security related to the root chakra and often the foundation of our bodies, the feet. When we fear moving forward in life our knees take a hit and when we just can’t figure out how to get enjoyment out of life, we store misery in our hips.

It’s quite intriguing to me how often we dismiss our bodies signals as nothing more than a physical injury. Yet even accidents like falling are a metaphysical symptom of not valuing ourselves or not feeling valued so we are careless and absent minded and that causes accidents.

Louise Hay has a book called Heal Yourself. It has mantras that relate to the reasons behind our physical symptoms. Each time I have a seemingly ‘random’ pain or ailment I check this book to see if it is real… Or is it a physical manifestation of my inner emotion? In yoga we say that Emotions are Energy in motion. If we are stuck on one or more painful emotion, our body will kindly hold it for us!

Sometimes during or after Yoga practice or body work, we have an emotional release. When we move certain parts of the body that have been storing our emotions it can be spontaneous. Often, we have already been feeling pain or tension in those same areas of our neck, back, knees, ect… for years! During regular practice we inadvertently move those emotions up and out! It sounds intensely therapeutic, and truly is!!!

However, it usually comes out in very messy emotional way like a crying break down or eruption of uncharacteristic anger or outburst so you can allow those emotions to break through. There is more room out than in, so it its best to let it all come out where you can see them and heal them.

I feel compelled to write and tell you of this phenomenon because it just recently happened to me again after a wonderful yoga set, I called Heart Openers. It’s funny to me that I really enjoyed creating and teaching this class! And yet, four hours after that practice I was huddled under the covers in my bed bawling my eyeballs out because I had moved those stuck emotions in my heart with a powerful heart opening yoga practice.

I laid there allowing myself to really feel all the icky emotions I was storing and weighing heavy on my heart. I didn’t hold back, I used a hundred Kleenexes and dehydrated myself allowing the abundant tears to fall freely. Finally, I fell asleep and allowed myself to rest after my big emotional purge.

When I woke up, I felt better. The emotions that I kept stuffed had dissipated and I felt lighter. It took me a few hours to realize what had just happened. Since my breakdown seemingly came out of nowhere being pushed over the edge by a small minor inconvenience. It was clear to me it was my body purging in uncontrollable emotional release.

Now this Emotional Release phenomenon does not happen after every yoga practice or massage! LOL So don’t fret. It happens when your body is ready to release what no longer serves it. It is an energetic letting go of all those stuffed down emotions so the body can move into healing.

There are times I’ve had massage clients crying on the table for these same reasons. I felt honored to be able to hold space for them while they allow those messy emotions go. I felt that it was important to remind people that this can and does happen and that it is okay to let it out. It is a step towards allowing healing in the mind, body, and spirit.

This is why, self-care techniques like yoga and massage therapy are so important to incorporate into your life. I’ve come to believe our bodies are quite magical! Our bodies are always communicating and it’s up to us to take the time to listen to its needs and the nagging aches and pains to see what they are trying to tell us. What emotions do we need to heal and release so we can feel better in our own skin?

I hope this article is helpful in some why so that when it happens to you. You are now able to identify it as the healing opportunity it is. Instead of thinking it’s an out of the blue break down, you will now see that is a therapeutic break through! Which is very healthy and healing to the energetic and emotional body.

So now you know the magic of movement! How cool is that?!

Sending you all so much love and wishing you an abundance of blessings,

Namaste,

Emy Minzel

SpiritRiverYogaandMassage.com

#lifelessons, Uncategorized

Cold Feet

Emy Minzel

Recently while running the tub for a bath I had an epiphany of sorts. I took my time to fill the tub ensuring the water was at the perfect temperature. I added Epsom salt and essential oil to optimize the experience of my respite time. I lit a candle and made sure the house was quiet.

Relaxing in the tub was something that I was looking forward to. It had been a busy day. When the tub was full, I stepped in and realized even though the temperature of the water was delightful to my hands and arms.

Yet, my feet told my brain.

“Retreat! Retreat! Warning!!! Warning!!!! There is hot molten lava in the tub!”

“What?! Come on feet!” I thought to myself reaching down to touch the water. Willing my feet to catch on to what I already knew.

“Yep. Still perfect. What the heck feet?” I thought a little annoyed at the delay of my relaxation.

It took me a long time to convince the flashing warning lights of my feet to calm down. I had been running around the house with no socks on and my feet were cold before I stuck them in the bath water. The environment my feet had been exposed to all day had negatively affected my relaxation event.

After quite a few minutes I finally acclimatized my sensitive feet to the temperature by giving in and adding some cold water. As I sank into the tub and I wondered to myself.

“How many times in life did I reject a pleasant experience because I was uncomfortable with it? How many opportunities have I missed out on because of my metaphorical cold feet?”

There are moments in my life when the fear of change made me so uncomfortable, I decided against it. But was this the right thing to do? In this instance I knew I wanted to relax in the bathtub, I had looked forward to it all day. Yet the reaction of my cold feet hitting the warm water distorted my experience and not in a pleasant way at all.

“How many times has a cool environment caused warning signs that were unfounded because that is all I had known?” I wondered.

It seems to me I can think of quite a few and that disheartens me a bit. However, I think this hot tub, cold feet experience was exactly as it was supposed to be. It was not meant to dishearten me. Rather it was meant to open my eyes and become aware to a deeper understanding of myself and my patterns of being.

Now I am a thinker, and, in the bathtub, you have lots of time to contemplate. So, I continued.

“How often has the company I keep effected my response to opportunities as well? If I am surrounded by others who often have negative thinking patterns, who offer unsupportive comments or those who are guided by their fears rather than their dreams…. How often does that affect me and the decisions I make?” I wondered to myself.

If I am used to aloof surroundings; warm welcomes, and kindnesses may feel uncomfortable right?! I think you know the answer to that.

The company you keep has a giant affect on your life even if we do not realize it at the time. For me this did not mean I had to run away and move to the forest to live alone and in recluse. It was a gentle reminder from the Universe to SEE patterns I was unconsciously allowing so I could change them.

It was an opportunity to see into the subconscious desire to stay the same temperature. I was allowing lower vibe to run the show. It may feel uncomfortable, scary, or even seem painful at first. But once you tune in to the reality of our experience, a warm change can be quite delightful.

It was an intuitive opportunity to see what I had been missing all along. It is up to me to say.

“Nope. This this is not true cold feet. This is not lava. It is not a true story you are telling me. This is how I see it.” I get to change the skewed narrative that is currently floating around me.

Just because voices of my past are bringing doubts and discouragements or those in my support system are sounding their alarms. It does not mean that it is the correct guidance. They may also be offering and projecting their experiences to you as a warning because they care. Or maybe not… anyway, take that into consideration as well.

Like the sensation of my cold feet submerging into a warm bath felt uncomfortable. So, does going against the ‘norm’ in decision making! It was a nice reminder to take my time, to move at my own pace and allow my cold feet to warm up to the idea of a nice hot bath. Often you must go through a painful or uncomfortable period to get to a beautiful experience.

Next time I find myself with ‘cold feet’ I will ask myself.

“What can I do to transform this experience if I really want it? Is my trepidation, fear or pain a true story or is it perceived because of the situation I was just in? Would moving forward and continuing actually help me to reduce the uncomfortable sensations in the long run???”

In the end, yes. Proceeding towards my desires was exactly what I needed to do. My bath did feel fabulous, and it offered more than relaxation. It cleared the cobwebs of unconscious stagnation by offering insights downloaded by some magical force.

It is a nice reminder of the things that can happen when we give ourselves time to be quite and allow ourselves an opportunity to listen for higher guidance. We do not have to be sitting cross legged in meditation when it happens. We only have to allow quiet time for ourselves and be open to receiving.

Blessings,

Emy Minzel

EmyMinzel.com

#lifelessons, #naturelover

Finding wisdom in nature

Emy Minzel

The leaves are turning a stunning array of vibrant colors here in Minnesota. Once the trees are done changing color, they shed its summer shelter releasing what no longer serves it. We can learn a lot from trees, and the cycle of nature. Allowing ourselves to let go of what has lost purpose in our lives makes room for what does!

It a great time to release relationships, behaviors, emotions, careers, and other goals you may have pursued at one time but no longer have passion for. Humans have a lot of feelings about everything. It can be difficult to let things end that you have put so much time and effort into creating.

Nature doesn’t seem to have a problem letting go. She takes her time and lets it happen in its own rhythm. Yet, when I look out my window. I wonder if it is painful and laborious to change seasons? Witnessing the effort Mother Nature puts into growing in the spring. Only to watch it die and disappear in the autumn must feel arduous in some way.

We can feel that way when it’s time to let things go in our lives. Still, if we pay attention, we know that the cyclic nature of Mother Earth reflects in our lives too. If we edit the parts of our lives as ruthlessly as she can. We see how detached from the outcome she is. She trusts that it is the way it is supposed to be.

Underneath the fallen foliage is next year’s seeds germinating waiting for the right time to burst forth and bloom. If this is the case, why then would it be any different for us? Why do we resist releasing what does not serve our greatest good every once in a while?

Do you have trouble deciding to let parts of your life wither? Is it only me or do you share this feeling? Sometimes it is easy to let go if you are excited about what’s next! Maybe that is the most important ingredient of it all? Attitude and trusting in the process of life to unfold as it should, undoubtedly will help.

Mother Nature is not worried about the fall because she is ready for her winter rest. I’d like to think that is the case anyway. Nothing in life blooms all year and that is true for me and you, too. We need time and space to rest in the years fresh compost of our experiences to germinate our new beginnings.

My random introverted contemplation helps me move through fluctuations in my life. Like the leaves signaling the change of seasons. If I simply allow nature to do its job while harvesting the apples of wisdom I grew through the summer. Life will flow effortlessly into the next beautiful transition of a new year.

Like Mother Nature, I look forward to the changing season. I trust the landscape of my life. It will be transformed into a divinely guided journey. This journey is our own unique natural cycle of existence. I must allow people, places, feelings, and things to come or go as they please. With a deep knowing that I have no control even if I wanted it. Let go and let God.

It is easy to trust my life to the nature of destiny. I witness the ever-changing landscape from my window year after year. I find beauty in every falling leaf of my life lessons. This appreciation allows me to give thanks. It also helps me let go for my own good.

What has nature taught you? I would love to hear your thoughts!

Sending peace, love, and success!

Blessings to you!

Emy Minzel

EmyMinzel.com

#lifelessons, #spiritual, Uncategorized

A beautiful blessing of disaster?

Emy Minzel

Ugh! Do you ever have big arguments in a close relationship and then you just get lost in them? I mean like, losing days, weeks and even months of your life because they are blanketed with a sense of sadness, anger and disappointment. I realize this from personal experience of course, because that is how I learn best.

Recently, I have let disagreements with loved ones overshadow my love of life. The things I once loved to do have fallen by the wayside so I could focus on being fully and completely pissed off at everything. Do you ever have those times? It’s not in my nature to be so angry for so long, yet I was, and I let it take over.

There are things I know for sure and lots that I have left to learn. What I know for sure is that life isn’t meant to be dreaded, tolerated or merely survived. When the whole world around you seems to be crumbling to the ground, it is our opportunity to pick up those pieces and build the life we truly want, in the way that works for us. In this tough emotional time I had to allow things to crumble to see what stayed.

It’s tough to admit that is up to us to take responsibility, brush ourselves off and get back into the sweet flow of life. Nobody else can do that for you or me, as much as we would like the help up onto our feet.  The Universe says. “Nope. This is your job.” Happiness is an inside job and should not be dependent on your relationships, career, or goals.

You cannot give the responsibility of your contentment or healing to anyone else but yourself. Taking yoga teacher training has helped me do much needed inner work to find what it is that makes me happy beyond these things we let define us. It’s something that I knew in my head yet found hard to put into practice of my life consistently.

We often ask others for advice and I’ve learned it’s better to go within and ask yourself what to do especially with intimate relationships. Once the power of emotion has settled, our inner wisdom has a lot to offer us if we are willing to trust it, and ourselves. This time ruminating was also a blessing that offered healing. I was able to accept responsibility for my part and make the motions to course correct.

Yet, how is it fair if I don’t offer the same compassion, time and opportunity to process these big emotions to the other person in this story? They are hurt and trying to heal too.

Sharing life with loved ones is challenging when we grow at different speeds, in different directions and in different ways. Sometimes it seems clear and apparent we are going in opposite directions testing our skills of communication, compassion and love. This is marriage, this is family, friendship and life. Right? Right.

During this inner conflict, I have learned I must heal myself, and the emotional wounds before moving forward. I learned this because I kept licking it and preventing myself from healing. Dragging out the time I needed to heal the wound that came in between my relationships. I had to do my own inner work.

Pointing fingers, placing blame or denying any responsibility in relationship problems is childish no matter how old you are… Doing the work to accept that maybe we aren’t innocent or perfect after all is entirely better for spiritual growth than forgiving others for wrongs against you.

We only know our version of the story in a relationship. It’s also the only story we have the ability to edit and change what we will except and allow in our lives. Opening our hearts to the possibility we don’t know the whole narrative is hard yet transformative.

To love someone unconditionally means that you love the hurt, wounded parts of them that lash out and bleed all over you and vice versa. The longer you share your life with them the more opportunities we have to allow this happen. So, do we say? “F it. I give up on you.” Or do we choose to say. “Well, this sucks, how do we heal it?”.

Just like an earthquake it takes a long time to recover from an emotional disaster that hits a relationship. It can take years if you aren’t willing, ready or able to take responsibly to do the work of the clean-up. This is true for our own personal growth and awareness too.

Cleaning up your own inner garden, taking care of your part of a relationship, doing the work to heal, or choosing to build a wall around your heart is up to you. You get to choose who you are going to be in this world. You can let someone else define you with their projections, or you can create and define yourself.

What I have learned from the pieces of the tumbling tower of these relationships is that it is up to me to fix it. Well, me and the other person, it takes two to have a relationship. We can wish, hope, pray all we want but if we aren’t willing to take the steps, do the work or put in emotional commitment of effort then it’s not going to happen.

You can live life in the pile of rubble, or you get up, dust off and start rebuilding to something better. Life isn’t always full of joy, sunshine and success, sometimes it hands you the gift of breaking down what no longer serves your highest good so that you can start from scratch to nurture what does.

I’ve learned to let go of the hurt and anger because it was only harming me and preventing growth that the Universe/God was intending to manifest. I also learned that letting go was easier than hanging on to patterns, behaviors, and thoughts that were not working.

So, when we watch the relationship towers fall and crumble before our eyes, along with all the work and effort that took years to build. I see now that it was God saying “Nope. Not like that. Here you go, you still have all the pieces, now try again.” Graciously giving us a chance to rebuild a life, relationships/career, that is better suited for us.

It is a blessing in disguise if we aren’t too busy dwelling on the rubble to start gathering up what is salvageable and begin again.

So here I go, allowing the artist in me to create a new way of moving forward with love in my heart. I bless this pain for it called me out, asking me to take back the responsibility of co-creating my beautiful life.

I trust this path is guided by the ultimate Creator/God and that they know exactly what they are doing. The Universe was just handing me the tools and jolt of awakening I needed to believe that I had the power to do so.

Wishing you all security, joy and unconditional love you deserve!

Blessings of health,

Emy Minzel

P.s I wavered about posting a blog that complains about life while there is so much going on with the Coronavirus. In the end, I decided to post it because I’ve realized how much time I’ve wasted being mad, fearful and just unhappy, to take so much time out of my beautiful life.

I believe this virus will have the same effect on the world as my life lesson experience has had on me. It has changed me, and my perspective going forward in how I grow myself and my relationships. I believe we will be given time look around us and see what is truly important. Look and see the blessings in front of you and enjoy them now.

I also believe this is the Universe helping us to see what is not working for greater good. It’s giving us a chance to fix broken healthcare and political systems. Giving us time to see the good in each other while work together to rebuild with the pieces in the aftermath of a pandemic.

As the world goes through this experience together, we will finally be able to see we are all connected. We will see working in unity will be the only way to survive and thrive. I believe there will be light, hope and love at the end of this life lesson given to the world.

I believe we are learning to be kind, caring and loving humans in this mass awakening.

Peace be with you.

Love, Emy