Sometimes we say the wrong thing, lash out, or follow a path meant for someone else. Only to have life create enough chaos to turn us around and closer to where we are truly meant to be. It’s up to us to take the lessons learned from these challenges and grow from them. Being embarrassed, ashamed, hurt or (any emotion that comes from the feeling of failure) is unpleasant, and nobody likes it. But this is life and we all go through it.
There are times I have blamed others for some misunderstanding, misalignment or miscommunications. Because that’s the human thing to do. Except blaming others made me a victim and successfully removed my own power to change my situation.
This was and optical illusion I inflicted upon myself. It didn’t do me any favors. It just allowed me to wallow in self-pity and stay stuck in my inability to change. When in reality it was really my responsibility to make the changes that lead to the life I want.
Blaming others did not help me grow, it kept me stuck and paralyzed with fear. I did not want to admit that just maybe… I could possibly be responsible for my situation. The only way to know for sure was to communicate with compassion, tenderness and curiosity.
Because of these experiences I would get so frustrated at the stickiness it created in my life. I had no other option but to admit my behaviors and my tendencies, then do the work to really changing this habit. I matured into self-acceptance, self-respect and awareness by seeing this in my own patterns. It helped seeing my peers go through their tribulations as well.
It took courage to be honest with myself and start noticing these tendencies when came up. I had to truly decipher if it was a projection, mine or theirs. To do my best to come from compassion and kindness instead of assumption or anger.
My reactions and start being proactive! There is a silver lining to admitting I wasn’t ‘perfect” after all. Allowing some self-awareness, helped me grow into a better person, or at least in the direction of ‘better’ as I defined it.
It’s not my habit to always blamed others… but those times in which I was too stubborn to admit I was wrong. Willing to dig my heals in and harm a valued relationship instead of doing my part to help working it out… Those loses were big lessons for me.
Realizing playing the “Blame Game,” as an opportunity to learn. It’s an essential experience for us as we mature, forcing us to mature. (Hopefully.) Sometimes it’s hard to admit when I am at fault.
Nobody likes to eat crow, as they say. Yet, learning to value my dearest relationships instead of giving priority to my pride has proven to be worth it many times.
Has this been true for you too?
Wishing you lots of love, light, and acceptance today!
Love and blessings,
Wishing you lots of love, light, and acceptance today!
Love and blessings,
Emy Minzel
Emy Minzel 