I’ve found that growth is often not sought out, it is often forced upon us, whether we like it or not. It seems, at times, I think I want something, but the Universe offers me a different path. Fairly recently, I was minding my own business, working at my home to grow my own food. Nurturing sustainable practices and building a business of working from the home, that I love so much, oh and to finish our Adventure Sisters books! This was my path until just five months ago.
Clearly my path has veered left quite literally, and I am now on a political journey. It was my love of the earth and the call to protect our environment that got me into the position I am now. It is the adjustment period that is uncomfortable for me; conflicting my mind with buts, what ifs, and doubts. It is hard to trust the path in front of you when I’ve not been on this course before and I don’t know where it leads.
I’m realizing that sometimes I try to gather courage from others around me, looking for their support and encouragement. It all feels nice, but that is only false courage that is fleeting. I know that real bravery must come from within myself. Life seems to be a giving me a lesson on conjuring courage by asking me to walk most of this path alone. I do have really great help, but mostly what we decided to do is all up to me.
To effectively lead; I know I must be courageous, fearless, and passionate about where and why I am doing what I am. Inside, I feel like the hermit holding a lantern of light, guiding followers to a brighter future. This is my goal. To do what I can to foster in a kind, safe and healthy world around me. I understand that money is an important part of life, yet I also know that money is not worth destroying our environment and endangering our health.
I have enjoyed most of this new journey, especially all the great people in my community I get to meet! Yet, for an introverted homebody such as myself, this path is very opposite of my comfort zone and can (at times) be a bit overwhelming. Mostly when I don’t give myself time to unwind or take care of my needs. This is when the feeling of emotional exhaustion seeps into my spirit. I must do better at taking time to care for myself.
Great words of advice… I feel I am full of great wisdom that I sometimes refuse to follow. So I am calling myself out to get to it. Practicing what I preach. To learn how to believe in myself so fully that I can stand at the top of a mountain or at the microphone of any podium and speak from my heart for the greater good of every living being, not just myself. My goal is to speak for those who cannot speak (or are not able to represent themselves) in Congress.
Truthfully, this is one of the things that led me to running for office. I was feeling fed up, frustrated and angry that my voice was not being heard where it matters most. I thought to myself, if you won’t listen to what I have to say as a constituent, I will come knock on the door of the Capital to ask, “Do you hear me now?” The Universe saw me holding that hand of cards and called my bluff and Ta Da! Here I am! Isn’t it funny how synchronicities put you where you put your energy?
Look at that! I just called myself out again. This week has been hard. I am feeling very resistant to some parts of campaigning. Most parts I enjoy and even the work feels good. Yet I feel that, in my experience and somewhere deep down in my subconscious, I had come to believe that powerful people are bad people. Deep down I have felt that powerful politicians do not care about us people in the real world and (because of this) I didn’t respect or like many of them at all.
Here I am. Trying to become a gosh darn politician, because I do not like how it’s being done! I want it to be different, to be meaningful and use that ‘power’ for good. To help people and those beings without a voice. My goal is to use that powerful influence for the people we are supposed to represent and not make rules that benefit only corporate interest.
I want to defend our future from the pilfering of Social Securities and other Compassion programs that allow us to grow old and retire with dignity. To be sure that tax dollars are spent on people who pay them and that our “welfare programs” benefit people not oil companies or the giant monopolized industries that seem to have taken over our small business communities.
This month all of these wants, and goals are feeling very heavy. I am only me; a wife, a mother, a regular gal. The weight and the work of these dreams seems to have me all jumbled up in details. Making my efforts seem like I am walking through deep mud to make any progress. Making the saying this too shall pass, feel, well… like I am currently passing a kidney stone of life.
Such is life though, isn’t it? Some days are much easier than others. I will keep on putting one-foot in front of the other. At the same time, I am doing my best to enjoy the journey, the people, and the experiences while in pursuit of the destination. I am doing my best to be brave, enthusiastic and committed to goals of social and environmental justice that got me here in the first place.
Does anyone else have a hard time building self-confidence when life gets heavy? How do you deal with difficult and lonely experiences? I try to reach out to my friends and family for support, but they cannot grow my courage for me, that is an inside job. Just like nurturing my own happiness. Nobody can do it for me but me.
It is always a little scary walking a new path for the first time. I am having real human emotions that most first-time candidates usually have. It is normal to have an adjustment period for any new endeavor we embark on. Wouldn’t it be great if I could really let go and let God? To truly trust this path the Universe has guided me to. To trust that my experiences are for my greatest and highest good. To learn from and grow to a deeper understanding of this divinely guided experience that is indeed part of my soul’s journey is my goal.
Thank you for reading my blog. I wish you lesson’s through joy on your life path this summer!
Wishing you an abundance of joyful blessings,
Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister
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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister