Kind of a dick…

It’s recently occurred to me that I am kind of a dick. I don’t mean to be, I very much try to be a nice person to everyone I encounter, even unsavory types. That’s who my best self likes to be, open minded and compassionate. Lately I have had low tolerance for people who aren’t accepting of others, or my opinion of the environment, how hypocritical is that? I am a dick to the dicks I come across and I realize that it is my ego saying “No not like that. Do it my way.”

I have been writing about environmental awareness this week, it is one of my passions. I feel that it is part of my life’s purpose to speak up about the injustices happening to Mother Earth. Especially when it come to the Boundary Waters in Minnesota because it means so much to me. When my Adventure Sister Stacy and I go deep in to the forest of the BWCA we reconnect with spirit and ourselves. It is a magical time for us to recharge our souls by connecting with The Universe through nature. We would not be able to do that if it were to be poisoned my mining for its resources. It would not be the same place at all.

The thought of losing such a treasure makes my blood boil and my warrior spirit or ego gets all worked up. This is a stark contradiction to my other self! In my other life I am a massage therapist and light worker that believes the energy you give out comes back to you. On one hand I am a healer, a caretaker and a generally happy person, on the other hand I am human, I have a darker side too. We all do.

I struggle at times to keep the balance between keeping my thoughts and vibrations high by counting my blessings. Then when I start thinking about the possibility of something I cherish so profoundly, such as the Boundary Waters, becoming polluted, my love turns to fear, my fear turns to anger then I turn into that dick I was just talking about. I think this reaction is universal to most people I know when something or someone they love seems to be threatened.

So, what do I do to keep my vibrations and thoughts positive about a subject like environmental pollution that is not a happy subject at all? How do I stay true to my values of kindness and compassion when I am feeling the exact opposite? I must accept the duality of my true self, we all have light and dark energy for a reason, our emotions spur us to take action when we feel it is necessary. Our Yin Yang energy is variable it is meant to flow in balanced state, yet it is altered by our thoughts and actions. I know this, and I try so hard to keep it balanced yet someday’s I fail miserably.

So next time I come across a dick being a dick, I will try not to be a dick too. I will acknowledge that maybe they are reacting the same way that I do. They may be fearful or angry about something and I must listen to them if they are to listen to me.  This is the only way we can make progress, we are all on the same team on the same planet. I will do my best to keep my words and message positive, yet I know that life isn’t always joyful and there are subjects that do need to be discussed even if they are uncomfortable.

So here I am still a good person, with good intentions, sometimes a dick, most of the time I am not. My reasons are not excuses to be rude, yet I will not be mute on a subject that must be addressed. In the end I don’t need others to like me, I need them to listen, so that I can fulfill my purpose of environmental awareness. I know that I don’t like to listen to someone I don’t like, so I must be more aware of the words I use and how I use them to get my message across. I am a work in progress we all are.

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