#perfectlyimperfect – Emy Minzel

I write a great deal about life lessons, self-improvement, personal and spiritual growth. Lately though, it has occurred to me that I am always trying to change something about myself. I’m forever quitting sugar, alcohol, meat, dairy, coffee or other habits; depending on my motives. I am currently working through a dedicated 40 straight days of kundalini exercise, that looks down upon taking a day off for life. If I miss a day, I have to restart the count!

All these self-improvement desires and rules I set for myself tend to lead to a lot of ”shoulding” myself. Every day I say: “I should do this or should do that… Don’t do this or don’t do that.” When I eat sugar or have a glass of wine; should I feel bad about it? When I don’t have time or I just plain don’t feel like doing yoga, well, that leads to me feeling like I am letting myself down. Not a great feeling!

This cycle of setting my standards high (and sometimes impractical) has started to make me think. “When is it okay to just love myself exactly as I am?” Yes, I do these things to be healthier and happier, but when I let myself down, I feel bad about it and this does not make me feel happy at all! It has the opposite effect, and this makes me want to eat my feelings and a lot of cake.

This cycle of high expectations turns into failing perfectionism, not self-improvement. It turns into a twisted way to psychologically torture myself into feeling weak for failing at all these self-imposed rules. Gahhhhhhh!

Guess what?! Turns out that I am very much imperfect. How about you?

This got me thinking. When is it okay to accept and love myself just as I am? Imperfectly perfect. So what if I carry a few extra pounds? I still love my curves (my husband does too), my personality, and my smile. I am healthy enough to walk my dog, kayak, camp, and adventure without pain. Is my weight and sugar habit really as big of a problem as I seem to think it is?

What do my subconscious and body feel, when I cannot let myself love me just as I am? This cannot be healthy either, can it? I know that humans have layers of consciousness and deep down we know if we love ourselves or not. Yes, I know that taking care of your body, mind, and spirit is self-love. However, I also am beginning to see that having unrealistic expectations can have the opposite effect.

What if I tried something super drastic like loving myself enough to allow for the imperfections and what makes me, me?! I know that I love others who are not perfect, and I do not expect anybody to be picture-perfect! To me this proves it is very much possible to love someone just as they are. So can I love myself just as I am also? I have decided to give it a shot.

After trying to change some of the habits in my life and failing at some of them, I just started to wonder. “Maybe this is just who I am?” Is it really so awful if I have cake and coffee for breakfast once in a while?! I mean, come on man! That is the best part of being an adult! If I don’t eat cake every day, which of course, I do not. Then what is the problem?

I believe the point of life is to enjoy the way we choose to live it! Why do I ‘should myself’ or feel as if I am letting myself down for enjoying some sweetness in life?! Does a number on the scale and the fact I did not meditate today, change who I am inside? NO! It does not. Does anybody else care that I did not measure up to my own lofty standards? I doubt it.

Today I am choosing to love myself as I am! I am just me; Perfectly imperfect.

Sending you love and blessings,

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@EmyMinzel

www.AdventurewithEmyandStacy.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

I find beauty in the imperfections. The way an old barn leans a little to the left and the red paint is wearing thin. I love the tenacity of trees contorted in unnatural directions because they are searching for the sun in an area just out of reach. I love a gap tooth smile or crooked grin that are genuinely, beaming happiness. I love when people’s imperfections make them beautifully humans.

I love it when my husband works for weeks on making an antique head and footboard into a bench for me. then when it is complete to discover the seat that opens for storage sticks just a little. My husband feels that he didn’t do it well because it wasn’t perfect.

I believe that the bench we made together is perfectly imperfect. I love that this bench required planning, teamwork, and a talent we both have that compliments each other so we could complete the bench project together. To me, this bench is perfectly imperfect.

I love it when my littlest family member hands me a dandelion puff and reminds me to find the joy in blowing those dandelion seeds all over tarnation! I love when I see a three-legged, one eyed dog who is the kindest creature you will ever meet. I love old dogs. I love when it rains all day and you can toss your yard work “to do’s” in the for-later pile.

I love how my friend speaks of her passion and I see the energetic enthusiasm driving her to do what she loves. I find beauty in refinished, repurposed, and refurbished old items that become useful once again. I find that when we look for the good in someone or something; we usually find it.

I find that when I appreciate the beauty in things that are not traditionally beautiful; I am able to find the beauty in myself and others that may not be evident at first. I love a grumpy old man in overalls with a stubborn streak and a good sense of humor. I love how old people and innocent children have a genuine kindness in their eyes. I love how the biggest, toughest looking men have the greatest hearts.

I love when broken and hurt people use their experiences to help others. Some choose to share their experiences in hopes to stop someone from making their same mistakes in life. Other’s help to ease another’s pain by listening to them. Often drug and alcohol counselors have been down this path before and now choose to help themselves by helping others through their healing journey. To me this is the beauty of the imperfections in humanity.

I find beauty in imperfections because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfect is unattainable but we all seem to have the urge to reach for it. The funny thing is that one person’s perfect may look nothing like the next person’s version of perfection.

I like to think that it is our imperfections that give us our own unique personality and make us who we are. I do my best to love someone because of their imperfections and not despite them.

I strive to always see the value in imperfectly perfect. This means to love something as it is, not what you want it to be. I believe that to be able to practice acceptance and appreciation for those who are imperfectly perfect in their own way, is the definition of true love.

I believe we should first try this, by practicing this philosophy on ourselves.

I love you and all your beautiful imperfections too!

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

@emyminzel

@EmyforHouse15A

http://www.EmyforHouse.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com