I am learning to embrace the architectural alchemy of uncertainty. What does that mean? It means I build as I go trusting each step is divinely guided. No one knows what the future holds, yet we still plan as if we can control it. They say the greatest journey begins with a single step, and so does the intentional building of a life.
To step off the cliff into the unknown, to rebuild with broken pieces, both inside and out, is its own form of alchemy. One does not become an expert in anything without first being the dutiful apprentice. To create something that endures, one must rely on firsthand experiences that slowly form the artist’s talent and style from within. So, the Universe gives me courses in life lessons that allow me to practice. Each one crafted to level up my skills, relentlessly.
The divine essence that lives within speaks to us all if we listen. I have learned to move in silence, wisely conserving my energy. Time is all we have and how I spend it shows the Universe where I am invested. It took many laborious lessons and decades before I learned to monitor my own energy bank and build firm boundaries. Intentionally directing my time and energy inward for my own use; instead of scattered willy nilly among those who will greedily siphon it until it is empty.
Trusting my instincts as guideposts is not for the faint of heart. Becoming an Architect of Uncertainty requires trial and error, lessons learned through collapse, and the courage to sift through rubble for treasures of wisdom. Instinct tells me I will need those fragments again.
My instinct for alchemy is not born from reading clever quotes found online. My intuition was forged in the dark, painful fire from which my personal phoenix has risen— so exquisite I know I inevitably risk entrapment again if I am not vigilant. Navigating uncertainty of the future is guided by trusting in my intuition and the divine downloads that lead me toward action.
Since I came into this world, I have been considering how I was born and raised Feral. Clutching wild untamable energy so tightly even the Universe let me live a semi-Feral free-range life. Never truly nurtured and protected set free to roam. Wisdom of time shows me purpose of my past. Youthful innocence seeking love and affection I was easily lured into dangerous underworld of lessons nobody wants to learn.
It was through these experiences and a lifetime of enduring violations of boundaries. And a couple attempts of others doing my best to break my spirit so completely that nearly snuffed me out. I now contain a remarkable, vastly contrasting and poetically beautiful duality that comes with heavy lessons.
I find my life has been a bit relatable to the story of Persephone the Greek Goddess of Spring, and innocence, who eventually became the Queen of the Underworld, transformation, duality, and resilience. Relatable because like many people who walk around looking fine on the outside… I do not look like what I have been through.
I am simultaneously soft and stern, sweet and sour. Miraculously my heart remains open because I have learned to find beauty even in pain and keep my light safe in the darkness. I am open because now I can trust myself. Instinctive boundaries built from persistent practice of my lifelong apprenticeship means I am now capable of self-defense in many forms. Yet, I just look like me.
Pain has become a familiar companion of being forged and constructed in fire so often that my metaphorical wings themselves are made of powerful flames. The fire in me recognizes and honor the fire in you instantly. It feels comfortable, even safe, and exciting, because the familiar burn is less terrifying than opening the forbidden door to freedom and self-love. It is not how it looks on the outside. Nothing ever is. This is where my truth resides.
Harnessing the energy of the unknown safely is in the transformation of my own vibrations. Transmuting the circumstances where like attracts like. Commanding that I select the company I keep with the ruthless integrity of my spirits inner knowing. Now, more often than not. I prefer to be alone. I will not slow down my growth for anyone. Catch up or fall off.
Alchemizing uncertainty demands deep internal mining. It means trudging through the heavy weight of defeat, searching for nuggets of golden discernment hidden within. It means tapping into the divinely guided architect of my spirit— finding value in even the smallest diamonds, compressed over years of struggle and determination, mined from the deepest darkest depths of my soul.
Compelled by a mystical force inside endlessly searching for a sacred space that honors my duality and my magic. The magician within me, instinctively cementing treasures back together while knowing that no matter how much gold and grit I gather to rebuild my life; nothing is permanent and the tower will eventually fall again.
The artistic architect within me seems to have a merciless sense of humor and intense drive to continuously re-create myself. Each death and rebirth of my soul has brought to fruition an inner truth. Always reiterating my life path is about how gracefully I go about the journey of gathering gold and making diamonds rather than arriving at the destination on time. Many times, I don’t reach my destination or my goals. The journey never looks the way I thought it would and while learning to trust in that.
The hardest work as the architect of my life is manifesting my prayers and dreams into reality. It comes when I am forced to step into the unknown. Reminding me that I do not need to know how it ends, where it goes, and who is going to be there. I just need to feel my feelings and trust myself. Fully believing that even when I feel as if I am blindfolded in a trust fall into the arms of the Universe… I am certain I will land on my feet.
Though I feel feral, have been abused, abandoned, betrayed by those who were supposed to love me the most. It has been exhausting continually seeking to design a life that feels like joyful contentment, safety, and freedom on my own.
The infinite love I somehow have the strength to carry inside needs a place to be set down. Yearning for a sacred safe space for it to be shared. Searching for the kind of wholeness I long to experience at least once in this lifetime.
So, with a deep desire for respite and rest. I know me and inevitably this longing for love will find me rebuilding another tower of confinement cloaked in the illusion of security and stability. Where eventually it becomes painfully clear that after all the time and effort, I spent rebuilding yet another beautiful life. Eventually the same yearning for freedom will ignite my flaming wings of feral fire that will burn it all down.
Intuitively knowing that once again it will be time to set myself free in order to stay authentically me. The apprentice architect of uncertainty that holds no regrets because I have now learned it was always about the journey.
Figuring out how to balance the light and the dark within. Alchemizing through a sacred and soulful reckoning of my own duality. To unconditionally love myself and heal the feral innocence within that seeks safety in cages.
There was a public hearing at the Minnesota Senate Building Monday February 24th, 2025. It was to bring awareness and support for proposed Legislation drafted to protect Minnesota from the threats from Copper-Nickel Sulfide Mining.
I was born in Virginia, Minnesota raised on the iron range during the boom. My family has many connections and years of experience in iron ore mines. We are a working-class family, full of sportsmen and women, with respect for the jobs that support us. My connection to the arrowhead region is my heritage. I grew up swimming in the delightfully cold Lake Vermilion with my family.
I cherish the memories I continue to enjoy while visiting the pristine waters in the BWCA each year. We are blessed in Minnesota. Sometimes I think we may be so used to these blessings that we take for granted the quintessential Minnesota way of life. Lake life.
If we are not careful, we will lose what makes our beloved state so great. Look around the nation my friends…
Our fresh water is dwindling quickly. Fact: Over half of the water in Minnesota is already too polluted to eat the fish or drink from. Statistics say that by 2050 over half the population in the nation will have difficulty finding clean drinking water!
This is why I am so passionate about protecting the water in Minnesota. The desire to protect the BWCA is what inspired me to run for the State House of Representative in 2018. Then again for Minnesota State Senate in 2022. Though I did not win, I am still a passionate environmental advocate. Which is why I attended this hearing and support these bills. Now I would like to offer a summary of what I learned.
This is a summary; I will provide a link for the full 52 pages of hearing testimonies below. I am sharing so that you can contact your state representatives and ask them to support these very important pieces of legislation. This is not a democrat nor republican issue; this is a Minnesota issue.
Our water is what makes Minnesota special. We all understand that water is life. Even if we don’t see eye to eye on other subjects. Most of us agree that protecting our Minnesota way of life from foreign invasions with nefarious intentions is something that needs to happen.
Here’s what you should know.
The Prove it First Bill SF1382 /HF 954. Simply request that an applicant seeking a permit to operate a copper-sulfide mine must prove that such a mine can be operated and closed without causing pollution. They must prove an example of a copper-sulfide mine that has been operated for 10 years and has been closed for 10 years without causing pollution.
Bad Actor Bill SF 1744 / HF 1197. This bill would ban Minnesota from issuing nonferrous mining permits to ‘bad actors’ who have already violated specific international laws. Including corruption, bribery, or destruction of natural resources. This common-sense legislation would ensure the legacy of Minnesota’s clean water is not placed in the hands of notorious international mining conglomerates with no regard for Minnesota’s environment or its residents.
Taxpayer Protection Act SF1383 / HF955. Taxpayer protection act would require nonferrous (non-iron) mining companies to fully fund any financial assurance package upfront and in cash. This would protect Minnesota taxpayers from being forced to pay for any environmental clean-up resulting from the nonferrous mining operations. Currently the regular operating methods of these companies are to leave a toxic mess and the clean up bill to the taxpayers by simply declaring bankruptcy.
The Friends of the Boundary Waters Executive Director and Lawyer Chris Knopf shared his personal story that led him to this fight to protect the Boundary Waters.
Chris grew up in Cleveland, Ohio. Which became world famous when its river was so polluted it caught fire. That is not the kind of legacy we want to be famous for in Minnesota. He then informed us that Minnesota does not currently have laws to protect its clean water against industrial invasion. Secondly Minnesota regulators are unable to properly enforce the flimsy laws already in the books. That is why they need public support and help reach lawmakers in all districts of Minnesota.
Minnesota State Senator Jen McEwan gave a passionate speech in support of keeping the Minnesota we know and love safe from foreign land grabbers only here to take, pollute and leave. She reiterated that the false narrative that this mine is needed to support green energy is just a marketing wordplay to confuse citizens and lawmakers too. In no way is copper sulfide mining a reasonable way to support green energy simply by how it is produced.
Senator McEwan’s speech was inspiring, and heart felt. Leaving us all with the important task of making sure we do the work of contacting our local representatives and telling them to support this bill. She told the large crowd in attendance. It’s important for you to make noise and get this issue the attention it needs to pass bipartisan legislation!
Dr. Steven Emerman has been a professor of geology for over 30 years and worked in issues related to water and mining for over 40 years. His three main points to share were:
Sulfide-ore mining poses a threat to clean water
The sulfide mining industry has a perfect track record of water pollution
The pollution caused by sulfide mining lasts forever.
He ends his testimony stating. The notion that this kind of mining has been done without polluting the surrounding water systems is simply a myth. The toxic tailings will be a permanent catastrophic curse left for every future generation to come to Minnesota.
Fred Campbell is a retired hydrologist who worked with the MN DNR on the Regional Copper Nickel Study. He’s worked in copper nickel mineral exploration data for numerous mining companies including AMAX, Polymet, Twin Metals and Talon. Proving the tailings of these mining operations are indeed toxic everywhere and do not ever dilute or diminish.
These pollutants have been proven to have effects on human health and the environment with catastrophic impact. His research proves the legacy of sulfide mining sites and districts are all now included on the EPA’s National Priorities Superfund List. (Superfund site is taxpayer-funded environmental cleanup caused by industrial corporate pollution.)
Campbell says Minnesota’s existing legal and regulatory framework cannot protect us from the dangers of sulfide mining. Minnesota needs to enact “Prove it First” and other legislation to permanently protect the BWCA and other sensitive areas.
The Commissioner of Natural Resources for the Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe Kelly Applegate spoke on the long history of sulfide mines irreversibly damaging watersheds. Leaving a legacy of contamination long after the mines are closed or abandoned. He reminds us that water has no boundaries and ripple across the environment into our wetlands, communities and drinking water.
Critical drinking water sources will be in danger throughout the watersheds to the Mississippi river, St. Croix River watersheds and Lake Superior. Without proof that pollution free operations are possible, allowing sulfide mining in Minnesota is a high stakes experiment for the entire ecosystem they are not willing to be part of.
Applegate declared “Our efforts are grounded in our community to preserve Minnesota’s natural environment and water resources for generations to come. There is an Anishinaabe teaching that our people have. We care for our Earth, for those yet unborn and the next seven generations to come. If we make good decisions, we can protect the earth and water and know the next seven generations can have a good life.”
Bob Tammen from Soudan, MN worked on the iron range in the mines. He states. “I worked during the boom of the 1970’s and the bust of the late 80’s and the ups and downs afterwards. During a lifetime of mining I’ve gathered a lot of knowledge of the environmental consequences of our mining activities.”
Referring to the Dunka mines that were closed in 1994. The runoff from that Duluth complex materials is still degrading Birch Lake and running into the Boundary Waters. The State of Minnesota and the mining industry have had over 30 years to work on that problem! And they still don’t have it cleaned up.
Minnesota’s three major watersheds come together on the property of the Hibbing taconite plant. Rainfall at that junction will partly go north to Canada and Hudson Bay, east to Lake Superior, and South to the Mississippi River down to the Gulf of Mexico.
Our water is moving. The failure to clean up Dunka should be a warning that the State of Minnesota is not likely to be able to regulate Twin Metals, PolyMet or Talon, which would respectively pollute The Boundary Waters, Lake Superior and the Mississippi River. When we fight to protect Minnesota’s water, we’re also fighting to protect the water flowing to Detroit and Winnipeg and New Orleans. When we defend Minnesota’s water, we’re defending everybody’s water.
With the wisdom of all his years Bob made a point nobody can argue with, he said. “Eventually, someone else is going to get our water. Let’s be good stewards and send them clean water. Pass Prove It First.
Mike Maleska is an Iron ore miner of 42 years now retired and the local Union President. In his statement in support of the Prove It First bill he says.
Consider this; the companies that intend to undertake this venture are in it for profit. Without proof or evidence these companies make claims such as ‘modern technology and science have made pollution a thing of the past!’ believe me, I hear it all the time.
Now what if the citizens come to believe that copper-nickel mining can be done without polluting without proof. Then our state and federal agencies come to believe it too?
If these false claims are taken to be true by the state and federal agencies gullible enough to permit these mines. We end up allowing the world’s most polluting industry, operating a mine in the most pristine part, of the most pristine state in the USA…
As a former miner and elected union rep, I know that shutting down a mine is incredibly difficult, one might say impossible, never mind how dirty it is. What I want to see is some courage from our legislators to make the mining companies do one simple thing. Show proof that they won’t pollute before they’re allowed to put a shovel in the ground.
Eric Ini.
Eric Ini, Chief Equity and Partnership Officer for the Minnesota Center for Environmental Advocacy.
Eric Ini is from Cameroon, a country in Central Africa with diverse economy and like Minnesota, rich in natural resources. He spoke with a powerful message of caution.
“With companies like Glencore doing business with the government of Cameroon, the potential to alleviate poverty is almost impossible. Glencore’s track record of corruption is alarming. I have witnessed firsthand the corrupt practices of Glencore in my home country.
Glencore’s bribes to government officials were not limited to securing oil and gas contracts but also to secure deals to pay reduced taxes and royalties. In Cameroon the company flew millions of dollars on a private jet to bribe government officials, securing lucrative contracts.
This corruption perpetuated poverty, inequity and environmental degradation, causing irreparable harm to our communities. Glencore’s corrupt practices are not limited to Cameroon. Accusations of bribery and corruption are filed in Nigeria, Gabon, other African countries, globally in England, Brazil, UK and America.
NJ Ayuk, a Cameroonian and Chairman of the African Energy Chambers has publicly stated that Glencore is the worst company in the Energy Sector. It’s surprising that countries continue to do business with them.
By barring corrupt and polluting companies from operation in Minnesota. The Bad Actor Bill is designed to prevent what happened in my native county from happening in Minnesota.
I urge you to prioritize the wellbeing of Minnesotans over the profits of this Swiss-based company. Our state’s environment and communities deserve better than to be put at risk by a company with a proven track record of pollution, corruption and disregard for the law.”
Alan Thometzis a Senior Finance Lecturer for the University of Minnesota. He told us he grew up in Butte Montana, home of the largest mining Superfund site in the US. Butte has been at the center of America’s most extensive industrial cleanup efforts for decades. This former copper mine remains one of the most toxic sites in the Nation. Summary of his statement says.
“Superfund designation is proof that financial assurance has failed. There are 1,340 Superfund sites across the country, representing 1,340 instances where companies have avoided their financial obligations, leaving taxpayers to bear the cleanup costs.
Here is an extraordinary fact; Mining companies use bankruptcy as a strategic tool to avoid their environmental cleanup responsibilities. This is not an accident. THIS IS HOW THEY DO BUSINESS.
The five largest global mining companies with Glencore being the biggest, collectively generated $427 BILLION in revenue and $52 BILLION in operating income over the last 12 months…. These companies are far from struggling. Mining companies are incentivized to file for bankruptcy when the ore runs out. The law allows them to return profits to shareholders while leaving environmental liabilities unpaid. Debt obligations should be paid before investors receive returns.
Minnesota’s current financial assurance laws fail to protect its environment and taxpayers. It’s time to fix this broken system. We must require mining companies to fully fund their cleanup responsibilities in bankruptcy-proof escrow accounts. This is financial assurance that works. This is how we protect our environment and our taxpayers. Let’s get it done!”
In contrast to the older men who spoke before her. The last person to testify in support of these important bills was a fresh-faced 18-year-old.
Clair Peterson is a freshman attending the University of Minnesota. She is studying to be an Environmental Engineer. I am quoting most of her testimony verbatim because she moved familiar emotions in many.
Clair said, “Two years ago I was able to visit the Boundary Waters Canoe Area for the first time in my 16 years of existence. It might be confusing as to why someone who has just started college, has only been to the Boundary Waters once, and has little experience in political activism, is here to speak to you today. Despite this, I know, without a doubt, that the Boundary Waters is a special place.
It has the ability to connect people to each other and the world around them in a way that not other place can. While I was in the Boundary Waters I got to see loons, and snapping turtles, beavers, minks and garter snakes and eagles. I even got to hug a 1,000-year-old cedar tree!
I hauled 30-pound bags and canoes through the wilderness for four days. My crew and I woke up at 5am every morning so we could get an early start on paddling. We had to work together to support and motivate each other through long portages. It was hard, but through it, I got to connect with my peers. It was a beautiful and wonderful experience that I am deeply privileged to have shared with my friends. I know I will cherish the memories I made in the Boundary Waters for the rest of my life.
My hope for the future is that young people like myself, can continue to discover and fall in love with the Boundary Waters. Where they can witness unspoiled beauty year after year. The decision to pass these bills – Prove It First, the Bad Actor Bill, and the Taxpayer Protection Act will not only affect the next 20 years, it will affect the next 70 years of my life. I, for one, would much rather spend the rest of my life planning trips to the Boundary Waters with my family rather than trying to cleanse it of sulfide sludge.
I urge you to act.
The Boundary Waters is a sanctuary that should be preserved for the future. Just as people need the Boundary Waters, the Boundary Waters needs us.”
Out of the mouths of babes… Clair’s testimony moved me to tears with her earnest passion and love for nature. There were dozens of children in attendance at the hearing. Reminding us it’s more than just the facts that are important. The future generation needs us to do this right now.
Clair understood how to articulate the feeling you get after your very first visit to the BWCA. It only takes one trip to feel there is a sacredness in the pristine waters and forest of the beloved Boundary waters Canoe Area.
After my first visit to the BWCA I came home telling everyone I was certain. That’s where God lives.
What Minnesota has is more than clean water and mineral resources. We host the responsibility to protect the sacredness of its purity. A place so special nowhere else in the country can boast. One that must be protected by the Prove it First bill.
Like, an older sister, Stacy leads by example; and a great one at that. My Adventure Sister confidently dances to the beat of her own drum. She brings out the magic in most everyone she meets. I really love that about her! She’s inspired me to share mine with you too.
I had reservations about writing on pendulums and magic. Then this morning I saw a Grackle at the bird feeder. This is not a bird that shows up regularly at my house. So of course I looked it up.
According to the interwebs Grackle has multiple meanings, the ones that rang true to me where; When Grackle shows up it’s a sign of good fortune, and spiritual protection. YAY! Some Indigenous traditions call it the Firebird and believe it carries the power of a phoenix – which brings the message of rebirth and resurrection. Yay!????
Since Grackles are known for their loud calls it’s a sign to courageously speak up for yourself. Be brave and speak your truth. It is my intention that sharing my stories of life lessons will somehow inspire others to see beauty even in the mishaps.
On the journey of life. I have constructed an eclectic spiritual belief system. Through trial and error and a dedicated practice of yogic principles. I’ve learned to trust my inner knowing. Mediation helps me to tune into the life force that animates the world. And helps me to pay attention to signs sent by the Universal Consciousness. I call it Higher Power, Spirit, Creation, or The Universe. Some call it God.
Yep. I worship the Earth; I think just maybe… Our planet is mankind’s community Garden of Eden. A gift we’ve been given to care for. It provides all we need to survive, stars, and aurora borealis to boot, it’s truly a miracle. Its ecological systems are so interconnected that not one event doesn’t influence another. (The Butterfly Effect)
How we act, treat each other, respect nature or not, absolutely comes full circle. I am a live and let live kind of girl. I believe thoughts become things, revealing our individual lived experiences. (What do you think about all day?!) And that Setting an intention is no different than praying.
I believe ‘magic’ is just being conscious of the energy I contribute to the web of life that connects it all together. By doing so I get to co-create with the energy of the cosmos, and the spiritual elements that surround us. There is no definition to my spiritual practice and there doesn’t have to be.
Either way, I think it’s important to accept that we all have different beliefs. While allowing others the freedoms to practice theirs, even if you don’t agree. In my opinion, it would be super cool if we all just followed the golden rule.
So, if I want to call on my inner earth worshipping sorceress I will!
Why not call on the healing element of water to help me flow with ease through the rocky rapids that pop up on my journey? Why not ask the wisdom of the wind to transport creative ideas into my awareness or carry my prayers to the Higher Power?
I know how to tap into the grounding stability of earth energy so I can sit down, focus and write about the thoughts I just asked for. What if I called on the transformative energy of fire to transmute painful life experience into lessons through joy too?
Maybe the Grackle/Fire bird was telling me to be brave enough to share my magical nature with others. So, they will feel free to do so too. It’s what Stacy did for me, and she made it so much fun! She exuded joyful confidence, which made me feel safe in doing the same. I love sharing stories of our magical friendship with you!
We started using Pendulums when planning our adventures in January. We would lay out the map and ask the pendulum to guide us where to go. I’d dangle it over an entry point number on the map, then watch what it says.
Sometimes it would just hang there and do nothing. That means move on. If it went counterclockwise, we took that as a sign it was not the place for us. When it started to circle Clockwise is a good indicator that was the entry point, we should plan for. We would even ask the pendulum which campsite was the best.
We are very earthy girls, feeling vibes, trusting signs, and when necessary, putting up boundaries. On the second BWCA adventure, we brought several pendulums. Each held colorful stones that signified the four directions North, South, East and West. With the intention to hang them from the trees to create an energetic circle of protection. When we arrived at camp the sun was high in the sky, so we used Stacy’s compass to identify the directions.
Thanking the trees for their assistance in holding the pendulums. We started in the North, the direction associated with the Earth element. Fertile and steady, earth is associated with the Goddess/Feminine energy. The stone hanging from the pendulum was made of green Jade. We thanked the spirit of the north for sharing nurturing guidance during our visit.
Circling clockwise we headed to the East to find a suitable station for the Pendulum associated with Air. We chose a white crystal quarts stone to represent prana, life force/breath. East and the element of air are associated with communication, wisdom, and intellect. We thanked them both for their assistance in carrying your intentions/prayers to Spirit.
Heading clockwise to the South we hung a pendulum made of a red stone to symbolize the element of fire. Fire has the masculine energy of the Sun. Connected to strong will and force. Fire is purifying. It creates and destroys, flames can heal and warm, or bring about new life by abolishing the old and worn. We thanked the spirit of the south and fire for the transformation that it would bring us.
Circling around to the West to hang a pendulum made of light blue stone. West is the direction associated with the element of Water. The healing nurturing womb of creation we all come from. Nothing can survive without water. Water is a feminine energy frequently associated with healing, cleansing, and purification, (holy water) it is correlated with flow of emotion.
To complete the circle of protection we continued clockwise to the North again to close the circle. We give thanks, and gratitude to the Universe for hearing our intentions of healing and protection. Protection against what we did not need to know… the forces that be, will surely take care of us now!
We did a second loop with a tiny sprinkle of black salt to solidify the intention of protection. And at that, our circle of protection was up and running. (Please take it easy with the salt if in nature, mother nature is not a big fan. It’s the intention, not the amount that counts.)
This is the campsite which housed us while we recovered from Billy Goat Portage. We had been so sore and eager to set up our camp that we had made another rookie mistake. One the circle of protection couldn’t protect us from experiencing. We had set up our tent on a semi flat clearing just at the base of a hill. The view was great, and it was in between the cooking grate and the pit potty trail.
We thought nothing of it as we set up cots under a tarp in a separate area of the very large campsite. The wind was picking up, and the night cooling down, so we went to bed early only to wake up a few hours later to 2-3” of rainwater in the bottom of our tent. Water drenched everything in it including us. I woke up very cold, and so exhausted I couldn’t think straight. I was already depleted from the adventures of the day. All I could do was sit on a cot hoping not to die in this misery.
Thankfully Stacy found me and knew exactly what to do to stop that from happening. Now you’re thinking that maybe our circle of protection didn’t protect us at all. But I believe it did. Having someone there who knew how to recognize hypothermia instead of diagnosing me as safe, just soggy suffering… did save me from getting very ill.
The circle of protection didn’t stop this from happening, but it did send me the help and support I needed. Not only with this experience but with the friendship Stacy and I have created. This makes me see that our circle of friends and family provide energetic and emotional protection as well.
The ones that see you suffering and come to your aid. Helping you in the way that they know best. Sometimes with expert nursing skills, other times sharing wisdom or a compassionate ear. These people, and sometimes even our beloved pets create your circle of protection in everyday life.
Sometimes when you call on the elements, they send you what you need, not what you want. Just like mother nature knows when it’s time to water her gardens and it happens to be on your wedding day. It all ends up okay. Some of the best conversations and laughs happen when it rains.
Like Jack Pines, which in my opinion are the coolest trees will only grow only after the seeds in its pinecone have been released by heat, usually a wildfire. Some people also need these kinds of interventions to support transformations. Nature is magical. Humans are encompassed in the natural world.
By realizing we have the ability to shift our energy/thoughts helps us take responsibility for the life force that resides in all of us. We had set the intention to stay safe. The Universe agreed but, in its intelligence, knew it was not going to let us skip out on the experiences that bonded our friendship with trust. Then got me to the gym. 😉
The beauty of Universal forces holds wisdom of divine timing. It orchestrates synchronistic events and meetings that deliver us to our destiny. Just like magic.
No pendulums needed.
Sending big love and many blessings,
Emy Minzel
Heart Centered, Nature Lover, Writer, Advocate, Adventurer, Yogi, and so much more…
Early one morning on our first Boundary Waters Canoe Area adventure. We were sitting on the boulder beach in our camp chairs having tea. I highly recommend bringing tea and honey if you are going to be drinking the BWCA lake water. The water is safe to drink after you boil it. Although it is pristine, it still has a lake flavor. Tea helps cover the taste quite well.
Tea is a lovely analogy to portray the lessons of our adventures. Stacy and I decided to challenge ourselves. By venturing into metaphorical ‘hot water’ situations. We showed ourselves and each other what we are made of. We recognized our tenacity, our will to succeed, encouraging each other to be authentically ourselves the whole way.
We enjoy supporting each other’s skills and differences. Like tea, we had let our best selves steep and flow in these challenges. We allowed the delicious blend of personality and talent to brew into cup fulling spiritual experiences. Which has allowed for this fairly new friendship to grow into a loving sisterhood over time.
So here we were vibing, observing nature like it’s our favorite TV program. Engrossed in a morning meditation of allowing stillness. The music of nature soothed our spirits and calmed the nervous system.
We heard beautiful birds’ songs, occasional beaver splashing or fish jumping, a faint comforting roar from the small waterfall just south of our campsite. This is what I miss most when I leave; the sound of pure uninterrupted nature; the sound of peace.
We were enjoying the moment of being one with nature when I spotted a giant animal swimming in the lake. It was moving fast! I ran to get my binoculars and zoomed in closer. Even with binoculars it was hard to be sure what it was. It looked like two huge rabbit ears flowing quickly through the water.
“What is that?!” I asked Stacy and handed her the binoculars.
She looked and shrugged, unable to decipher. We had to wait until it got closer.
“It looks like a cow or something… oh! It’s a moose! Do moose swim?!” She handed me the binoculars back to validate her findings.
Now that it was closer I saw that it was a moose. Clearly, they DO swim. Turns out they are exceptionally good swimmers as she was demonstrating! The moose was moving swiftly for such a large animal.
“How cool is that!” I grinned wide as Stacy. I was impressed and psyched to have seen a swimming moose in real life.
“Let’s go get the Animal Spirit Guide, book! To see what message the moose is sending us!” Stacy said as she got up to grab it out of the tent.
Stacy and I believe that The Universe or God/Spirit, insert whatever you prefer to call a higher power. We believe it sends us messages all the time if we are present enough to see them and listen. For instance. Often observing an animal, you don’t see every day is a sign/message from the heavens just for you! We wanted to know what messages the moose was delivering this morning.
We looked up Moose in the Animal Spirit Guide, book by Steven D. Farmer, Ph.D. It said. ‘If a Moose shows up, it means you should feel proud of your recent accomplishment and share them eagerly, not to be arrogant, do it for the humble joy of sharing. It’s important to encourage others with their dreams and vision and by supporting their triumphs.’
In this book it also gives ideas to talk to the moose spirit when you are feeling extremely self-critical and need to remind yourself of your good qualities. There were more meanings in the book, but these are the ones that rang true to me at this time.
That’s how intuition works, when you receive a sign and investigate the meanings, some information won’t resonate, and some will. Use discernment to keep the things that ring true and dismiss what doesn’t. The Universe doesn’t have actual words, so you have to decipher it.
All the messages the moose had to share were comforting and confirming. I WAS very proud of myself for getting off the couch and out of my comfort zone for this trip. I have always loved nature but had fallen into the daily grind of life, like ground hog day repeating itself. I had lost touch with the true purpose of living life.
From my previous chapter on canoe tipping and the portage to nowhere. The message ‘not to be arrogant’ had just been confirmed. Don’t arrogantly ask the Universe hard games… you’ll get them! Take it easy, share joy. Share your accomplishments with humble encouragement. This is exactly the main intention of writing this book and sharing our stories.
The moose hit the nail on the head with excessively self-critical thoughts. I am 4’ 11 1/2 ” and I had gained more weight than I preferred at the time. It was time to care for myself with kindness. (This lesson has taken me too long to fully incorporate and that’s another book all in itself!)
It was time for me to acknowledge that if I don’t love and care for myself, how can I expect anyone else to love me or treat me better than I treated me? I was the one setting the standard here.
Stacy and I processed this message together as we drank more tea.
She commented. “This is so true! I would never allow someone to talk to me the way I talk to myself at times… Would, you allow someone to treat you the way YOU treat you somedays?”
Referring to how our inner dialogue is not always kind, especially for ourselves. I know that I am very critical of me. Yet, if someone talked to me the way I was talking to myself. Saying the judgmental harsh commentary running in my head out loud. I would think “those are fighting words”.
We talked about how we are very hard on ourselves and sometimes other people too. The conversation led to being judgmental of women and judged by them as well. How we need to lift each other up and encourage women to stand together.
We wished that we could all see that we do not have to be in competition. That we all have unique skills and talents that if we cooperated would make magic. Strong confident women that know there is enough success for all of us to go around.
Putting each other down, talking smack about how someone looks in those pants, or “OMG can you believe they just did that?!” This kind of energy isn’t helping anyone. We can unlearn this behavior.
What I have learned is gossiping about others doesn’t make you feel better. What it does is show others you can’t be trusted and will do the same to them.
How is this any different if we are commenting on ourselves? Our subconscious and self-esteem hear our inner dialogue. Our subconscious thoughts form our habits and beliefs! Ope.
I believe most of us do the best we can in the time and circumstances we are in. Including me! I have learned that ‘an eye for an eye’ leaves the whole world blind. Unable to see all the love and support that can be found beyond that relationship.
What if we just observed when we are judging or are being hard on ourselves or others? Then asked ourselves more questions to process and release those negative thoughts.
Would I give others in my situation more compassion than I am allowing for myself? If so, why?
What would I say to my best friends going through this same thing? What if I allowed myself the same grace? How would that change the way I feel about it?
Life is hard enough as it is. I’ve learned the energy I put out in the Universe is what is going to come back to me. What do I want to be returned? If you want others to support you with love and loyalty, do the same for them.
Girl Power is a real live energy! I’ve learned to embrace the power in divine feminine co-creation. I find joy being around the energy of the wonderful women in my life. They have a nurturing vibe, full open hearts, and share their stories of wisdom that lift my spirit and fill my cup.
The solution I came to, is treat myself like I treat my best friends. If necessary, I will deflect my own mean judgements or stories that bring me down. I will do better to be kind to me.
Words have power. That’s why they call it ‘spelling’. What energy are you sending when speaking or thinking of yourself or others?
Learning that my thoughts become things. Being more kind and encouraging, learning to be humble in all areas of my life. These lessons have all rolled together into a massive personal transformation over the years.
Digging deep into the divine guidance being delivered. Contemplating the unpleasantness of some of these lessons learned through relationships, careers, actions, consequences of paths taken. Seeing them as ‘life lessons’ and learning opportunities instead of things that just happened to me.
This has helped me become more the me I want to be. The me that does the inner work of transmuting failures into wisdom. Trauma into tenderness.
While I did not come up with this revolution at the exact Moose viewing moment. It has led to where I am today. These BWCA adventures kickstarted a revolution of my whole life for the better. I get to decide what it means to be “better” nobody else. Same goes for you.
I’ve learned it’s self-love when I allow myself to walk away from connections that do not value and respect me. These were the hardest lessons to learn. Not easy or joyful at all. I am healing by loving myself enough to stop allowing that behavior. Especially from myself.
In the long run I had to learn from taking those emotional hits. I knew I had to find the lesson and transform them into wisdom. It’s taught me to forgive myself for putting up with unkindness. Even realizing I had to forgive myself for the negative things I told and believed about myself. I saw that I can forgive others as it was their part in teaching this lesson as well.
From the lessons guided by the animal spirits that show up for me repeatedly. The spiral of life seems to keep me coming back around to acknowledge these teachings even more deeply year after year. A persistent continuing education of life curriculums.
Watching that moose swim across the lake was a cool experience! I will cherish the memory and the message. I feel that way about all our BWCA trips. At times words fall short of accurately describing the changes that have occurred in my mind, my body and spirit. It’s difficult to truly capture the depth of my internal changes.
Taking time for introspection inspired me to share these stories of our experiences. Contributing to a new perspective on how I was going through life. I feel my soul is soothed by seeing that all these experiences do make sense years later in the journey of my life.
I don’t know what the future brings. What I do know. History has shown me that I can trust the path. I have every intention of enjoying that feeling of faith in each phase of my life. These stories have proven to me that everything is always working out as it should.
So, I will continue to follow the signs and trust my inner knowing. As long as I remember to ask the Universe for easier life experiences full of joyful adventures, supportive kind connections and love!
With much love,
Emy Minzel
Heart Centered, Nature Lover, Writer, Advocate, Adventurer, Yogi, and so much more…
After our first portage we felt invigorated, and proud of ourselves. Something as simple as crossing an unknown path and coming out to a majestic lake atmosphere reminds me of the true meaning of life. No hustle and bustle of the daily grind, this was what the ‘real world’ supposed to be. Yet, we still had to work to do, to get where we were going.
Teamwork was a lesson that kept reoccurring in my life. Carrying the supplies together through 3 portages made light work getting to our campsite. We only had to make two trips to cross the portages the first year. Looking back, I believe it was the Universe taking it easy on us. It was the perfect trip to get me hooked and addicted to her beauty and slow flow.
We camped on Bass Lake and true to its name, it was well stocked. I remember dropping breadcrumbs at the shore of the boulder beach in the evenings watching them waiting for morsels, like my pets. I have a fondness for loons, and they were everywhere. Laughing their loony laugh in the morning, singing a lingering lullaby each night. There were loon families passing by our campsite consistently. It felt very synchronistic. At the time I was living on Loon Drive.
We let the loons guide us to fishing spots. Figuring they were the experts on knowing where the fish were. As I cast my line. Stacy said to me “Be careful honey, you don’t want to catch a loon.”
I had not even thought about that. “Oh, Geeze! … you’re right. Thank you!”
She knew me well, and my animal loving heart would have been beside myself had I snagged a loon by being careless. Not to mention it is very illegal. We love and protect the Minnesota State Bird dontchyaknow!
During one of these fishing excursions, we were catching fish left and right. We would help each other net the fish. Then take it off the hook for one another so we wouldn’t rock the boat. I caught a fish and while Stacy was leaning over the side of the boat to scoop it in the net. We both leaned a little too much and before we knew what happened the canoe was tipping over.
It felt like slow motion. I was looking at her. She was looking at me. Both of us had eyes wide as owls. There was no time for words. Stacy intuitively did what had to do at the time to keep the boat from sinking. She willingly took a header into the lake to save the boat and everything in it. SPLOOSH!
Stacy went in the drink… still the canoe was taking on water quickly. Sinking a rented canoe and our only way back to civilization is just not a good idea. I quickly leaned to the right doing my best to get the canoe level. Before we knew it, Stacy was in the water, and the canoe had about a foot of water in it.
Stacy is a Pisces; I tease her about being part mermaid because she loves to be in the water. That is one of my favorite things about our friendship. Having fun friends to play in the water with is a blessing I cherish. Thank goodness for her natural ability to swim and fortunately the water was warm that year.
I looked at her with a face full of worry. “Oh Sh**! Are you ok?!”
Still processing the surprise of being in the water she replied. “Yep, I’m good!”
The sudden aftershock of it got her giggling. As she held on to the side of the canoe and I paddled to the jagged shoreline. She was laughing the whole way. Once I knew she was ok, I started laughing too, and then we just couldn’t stop. Both giggling and laughing uncontrollably.
We had to try several times and in different locations to empty the canoe. We really did a number. Pulling the waterlogged canoe up on the steep, woody, rocky shoreline wasn’t easy. We’d try to lift the front of the canoe, then the back of it wanted to sink and take on more water…it was so darn heavy. With teamwork, we finally accomplished it; while laughing! Thankfully, we can still chuckle about this event.
Being the spiritual women we are. We are continuously looking for meaning and signs in our everyday lives. I believe Spirit doesn’t always use words to communicate. It can utilize people, places, animals, music, signs, events, etc. to get my attention. This belief has helped us grow more in tune with ourselves, each other and our connection to the Universe/Spirit.
I believe the giggling reaction was a divinely guided instinctive response… a therapeutic laugh! Our souls knew we must release the tension of that starling experience. The laughter vibrationally dispersed the energy of anxiety instead of allowing it to stay with us. I believe it was a celestial intervention so we could continue to adventure together again and with trust.
Loons are water birds. Water is connected to intuition, emotions and divine feminine energy. The message from the beautiful birds was to begin going deeper within myself. It was also a sign to start analyzing my dreams and decipher triggers that stir up big feelings.
We believe dreams we have while sleeping are our subconscious communicating with us. To this day Stacy and I will share poignant dreams texting one another to help us process the meaning of them. Acknowledging these subliminal messages has connected us deeply to trust our higher consciousness.
The prominent presence of the loon our first year was a significant sign. Guiding me to the beginning of my spiritual awakening. It was the year I was able to start doing the inner work of releasing fears, and self-limiting patterns. I took the loons advice and started diving deep into the mysteries of my soul. Learning to acknowledge my intuition and trust the guidance of my instincts deeply over the years.
Speaking of receiving signs from above… They say you get what you ask for. This rang true for me on our first BWCA Adventure. On the day we tipped the canoe; I was starting to get a little overconfident. I figured we portaged no problem, set up camp like champs, and made a fire with damp wood. We were rocking this adventure!
For some reason after completing a task I kept saying… “Does anyone know any hard games?!”
That day I got what I asked for. Yet, because I had asked a few times… the Universe kept giving.
It was still our first trip to the BWCA and the second day. We decide we wanted to adventure to the next lake over. We packed a day pack, with water and granola bars and headed south on the canoe until we saw a clear path. We paddle the canoe to shore; Stacy hiked the canoe up on her shoulders and we began hiking.
We must have walked a mile or more in portage mode. Passing a few hikers on the way. Some of them did look at us with concern and somewhat confused. But we did not know we were not on the intended trail. After a while I was starting to get suspicious that we may not be going where we thought we were headed? Stacy lowered the canoe, and we left it on the side of the path while we hiked up the trail further.
After a trek we consulted the map again, discovering we must have read it wrong. This time we saw the trail we were on was only leading to more trails. If we wanted to get to another lake, we would be hiking/portaging for quite a few more miles. We had just embarked on a long “portage to nowhere.”
As we say here in Minnesota… OPE!
Darn! We had to turn around and head back to where we came from. I was annoyed at first, thinking I could/should do better. I have been the map reader for most of the time on our trips. It’s something I enjoy and usually do well. This was our first adventure and at the time I considered it unacceptable that I let this happen.
I wasn’t perturbed because we went on a ‘portage to nowhere”. I was upset because I know how important it is to read a map correctly. It is the only way to get where you are going and back to the entry/exit points in the Boundary Waters. Google Maps won’t save you in the wilderness. Even though we always do our best to make our adventures fun, there are still very real dangers we must be aware of.
Navigating is a skill all BWCA Adventurers absolutely need to learn. I am often harder on me than anyone else would be. And I had just proven to myself that thoughts become things. I found out that was not a great idea to be asking for harder games! After that, I didn’t feel so confident taunting the Universe. It was yet another reminder the Universe is truly listening.
I learned the outcomes are better when I change my thoughts and vibe my best intentions. It has made me be more purposeful when communicating my intentions to the Universe. I can choose to change my energy by doing yoga, meditating, walking the dog, call a friend, nap… I must do absolutely everything I can to get low vibin’ energy shifted before the Universe responds in kind.
The Universe was reiterating for me to ask for what I want. Not what I don’t want. Although, the silver lining was this ‘harder game’ has made me a very conscious and cautious route planner since! Same goes for my navigating my thoughts. What you think is how you feel! How you “feel” is the vibrational energy you are tuning into the Universe with. True story.
These are great memories and hilarious experiences, thankfully. We were lucky and safe. I don’t take that protection for granted. I am grateful it was Stacy with me during these adventures and tests offered in the BWCA. We balance each other almost as steadily as the scales of justice most of the time. Working together to get through these challenges; choosing not to dwell on these mishaps, is a key ingredient in sustaining the joy of all our BWCA adventures.
Year after year, we learned we were able to trust and depend on each other. Each of us putting in our best efforts to fully support a safe and joyful journey together. We learned that we appreciated the unique skills we both brought. I can’t help but think this philosophy must ring true in my daily life.
I do my best to appreciate differences. Keep my chin up. Laugh at my blunders. If I stumble down the wrong path doesn’t mean it won’t be a good story to tell later. By choosing to be with great company and finding people who know how to be a team, and willing to carry part of the load, it was easy to enjoy the journey.
I can recognize that those bloopers we endured together helped us develop the wisdom and trust we deeply appreciate in each other now. These are the types of relationships that feed my soul and support leveling up of my spirit. I love and value my best friend and Adventure Sister Stacy very much. Which leads me to tell the Universe what I want… Yes. Thank you! More please!
Sending blessing and much love,
Emy Minzel
Heart Centered, Nature Lover, Writer, Advocate, Adventurer, Yogi, and so much more…
Emy Minzel 