Emy Minzel

It’s no secret that I am a person who likes my down time. I have been known to turn into a hermit a least a couple times a year, hibernating like my bear spirit animal during winter. I also like to do this in micro bits of time every day. You know, check out of real life for a bit, put down the phone, turn off the tv, and just be. I can’t do this often, but I found the more I do, the better person I am. I don’t get as fussy about things that irritate me, because during my quite time I am able to process what’s really bugging me.

I believe quiet time is essential for everyone and it gives us time to ask ourselves just what is it that we need. What do we want? If something is bugging me, how can I fix it? It gives us time to clear our minds, or if you’re anything like me, quiet time allows the crazy in my melon to puzzle that shit together so I can move forward with a thoughtful plan of action instead of wandering around my life reacting to the day I face. Time for reflection helps me check my attitude, after all it is up to me who I want to be today. Sure, I can be a grumpy Gus, but acting like so won’t make me feel better or anyone else I encounter. I can choose to be a better person than I was yesterday. To me it’s like quiet time gives me magical powers, giving me time to count my blessings, put my big girl britches on and carpe diem.

I remember one of the most difficult journeys I’ve taken on foot was to Fourtown Lake in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area. My fellow Adventure Sister and I were naïve about the BWCA and we had overpacked, lugging five hefty portage packs and a canoe, while underestimating the difficulty of the portages. It took us a great deal longer than expected to get halfway to our original destination. Try as we may we could not find one of the portage paths heading to the next lake we wanted to get to. We were frustrated, unprepared, starving, and dehydrated. The sun was tipping well over to the other side of the world, and we had started before it came up. My Adventure Sister and I were exhausted. Mentally and physically we were being pushed to our limits. When we decided to give up the search for the portage we were seeking so we could finally rest, it only took us a short while to find an open campsite.

As soon as I saw that we would finally be able to stop going and going and going some more, my eyes burst into tears, an automatic response to relief my body so desperately needed. Stacy and I ended up staying at the same campsite the whole stay because we were both too sore to pack up and move. We had to soak our flaring aches in the cold lake, and rest to fight off the exhaustion before we became sick with colds too. We spent a great deal of time, doing nothing but recuperating in the beauty of the forest out of necessity. It was not how we expected our voyage to go, but hey, we were calling for adventure and we had an amazing time we will not forget.

Isn’t it funny how we can push ourselves and our bodies to the point of sickness, past the point of uncomfortable right into pain? Yet it just keeps on going, doing what you ask it to do, even if it doesn’t want too. Isn’t that what we tend to do in our daily lives, just on a less acute scale. Why must we wait for the pain of stress to take care of ourselves is it really that hard? We take care of others with ease, yet when it comes to nurturing ourselves we decide to be stubborn and ‘tough it out’ putting ourselves last.

I am blessed to work from home, yet I am not immune from stress and family life. In reality, I hardly have any quite time to just myself, I’m busy running the show. When that happens for too long it gets me easily irritated at the silliest things. I find when I am not able to just sit with a cup of coffee in silence and have the world to myself for just even a half hour that I get grumpy. Its seems every little sound, conversation, television noise, microwave dinging, it all just pisses me right off. Let’s just say I am not my best self when I am not able to check in with myself, by checking out for just a bit.

My point is to help you remember even in this busy holiday season, take care of yourself too. Your body, your spirit and your family will thank you because you will be your best self. Ask yourself every day ‘What will make me feel good today?’ then do it. It is not selfish to do what it takes to take care of you. Quite time is an essential part of that for me, the older I get, the more I embrace it. It can be hard at times to ‘fit me in’ the schedule but the moment I start feeling anxious or irritable I know I better listen. I seek nature and the sound of silence as my retreat. I will not judge your way of reconnecting, I just wanted to remind you how important is for you to go there.

When I was a small girl, I joined the Brownies (The introduction group to Girl Scouts) where I learned to; Make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. Did you sing along with me? It’s a good tune and good advice. After four decades I am blessed with a handful of precious friends I love dearly. Some friends I see and talk with as much as possible, others I haven’t seen in years.

Sometimes as we get older life sweeps us away. We are afloat in kids, careers, errands, and responsibilities, making time a precious commodity. It can seem something always comes up, people move farther away, schedules just don’t match, and/or months turn into years. Before you know it, their kids are half grown, and you think “Well maybe we can get together in a couple more years.” Keeping them in your heart, you send them love from Facebook and get on with life. When these things happen, it can leave a void to fill. What do we do in the mean time?

I suggest we make new friends of course. I have been hesitant in the past about making new friends. After all I didn’t even have time to see the ones I already had. That, and I am quite skeptical by nature. “Just why is it that you want to be my friend? Hmmmm?!” Insert ‘stink eye’ here. Yet by taking a chance and opening to new friendships my life has changed dramatically for the better. I have had so many experiences I would have never had if I had not met my Adventure Sister Stacy.

Several years ago, Stacy and I met at a night class called “Stepping into the Metaphysical” which is kind of ironic thinking about that now. Today I see this ‘chance’ meeting as divine intervention bringing soul sisters together. I had enjoyed Stacy’s contributions to the class, and she seemed nice enough. So, when she asked for my card, I gave it to her so that we could ‘trade’ Reiki sessions. The next week we got together at the shop where I practiced massage therapy. We didn’t speak many words, we got straight to ‘work’ exchanging energy healing, balancing chakras, you know, the usual.

As we traded, it became obvious to us that our ‘souls’ most definitely knew each other. Our intuition sent us both separate images of us as sisters in many lifetimes together. When the sessions were over we talked about the unexpected connection we felt and agreed to meet again. As we locked up the shop to go home that night Stacy said, “I love you!” as she walked to her car. She tells me she doesn’t remember that. I do remember because it threw me for a loop. She intuitively knew something neither of us were ready to admit yet. Kind of an intense first ‘friend date’ don’t you think?!

My point is I took a chance and let Stacy into my life, skeptical as I was. I see that the Universe knew what she was doing all along. My friendship with Stacy has opened a whole new doorway of possibilities for me to experience life in a way that was different than the experiences I was exposed to with other friends. Had I not had a new friend to venture out into nature with, to explore our shared interest in the metaphysical, who loved new classes and experiences in energy healing, writer’s workshops and much more, I would not be pursuing my dreams in the same way I am today.

I believe that as we grow up, we branch out in different directions. Some friends end up on a different branch on the other side of the tree with new friends of their own. Even so, we are still on the same tree and the roots need to be watered or branches fall off and that’s ok too. I find that it is easier to grow, with someone who is going the same direction I am.

There is no wrong direction, we all have our own paths to navigate; It’s nice to make new friends traveling on the same route. It’s also a good idea to keep other friends that have branched out in different directions. You never know where life leads you down the road. These friends will have experiences to share when you finally come back together. Brownies taught me to water the roots, then bloom together in the seasons you share.

Author: Emy Minzel

Quiet Time

Make New Friends